


Forgiven

by urisarang



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brief Non-Con touching, Dean Winchester's C- Parenting, Feelings, God is an asshole, Hell is hell, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Psychological Torture, Samifer - Freeform, Slow Burn, The Cage, Torture, but he means well, fixit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-08 08:15:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 59,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11642538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urisarang/pseuds/urisarang
Summary: Lucifer suffers in the cage for millennia alone waiting for his true vessel to free him, but when his vessel throws them both back into the cage Lucifer learns torture with company is far worse.Lucifer learns to care for someone more than he cares for himself, but what can he do when the one he cares for is made to hate him, to fear his very voice?  Once he is free of the cage for the second and last time, how will Lucifer cope with what he and Sam went through together?





	1. The Cage and The Impostor

**Author's Note:**

> Crap summery is crap. Gonna be a long ride to salvation for my favorite tortured, misunderstood boys.

Time to an immortal is inconsequential, but in the cage time is suffocating. Time with unending torment in every moment makes an hour become a year, become 1,000.

All the time between when his father cast him out a millennia ago to the beautiful instant that the fated brothers freed him all Lucifer could think of was vengeance for the thousands and thousands of lifetimes spent all alone in agony.

Anyone would be beyond messed up from that, Lucifer tells himself, so he really shouldn't beat himself up for not treating his vessel; his Sam better once he was freed from eternal torment.

His second eternity in the cage at the hands of his very own perfect, one and only true vessel was a dark time. 

Lucifer was no longer suffering alone, but the company he long ached for brought him no solstice from the tortures of the cage. Lucifer spent a brief moment, merely a drop of time in his long life, angry with his vessel for entrapping them both, but it quickly passed as the cage did what it does best; learn its occupant's greatest weaknesses and began a new chapter of torture for them all.

Blessedly(heh), Micheal was granted his own personal and private hell away from Lucifer and Sam whom remained nearby one another. 

The other Winchester was no where to be found. Likely burned out by his foolish angel in a fit of rage, or perhaps it was a rare act of mercy from his brother. He did after all save his mortal from the curse of eternal pain.

Lucifer found himself chained to the wall with a perfect view of Sam who was bound to a twisted throne of jagged edges, Lucifer tried taunting him but Sam couldn't hear or see him. 'Interesting', Lucifer was curious to learn more about His Vessel. 

Their time together was too brief above, nor was it complete. Lucifer kept Sam down at the back of his consciousness as he was not willing to be joined as one, at least not then. Lucifer was confident given enough time he would worm his way into Sam in the most intimate of ways in a joining of soul and grace like they were always meant for.

Oh, how wrong he was. Oh how he lamented not holding off on rebuilding the Earth when he first should have taken care of the home front, his relations with Sam. 

Oh well if wishes were fishes...

Lucifer was surprised to see a specter with his face stride over to Sam. The impostor leans down over Sam and put his hand on Sam's head earning a flinch from the Winchester.

"Oh Sammy, this is a dream come true." The impostor runs his fingers through Sam's long chestnut hair. "All alone with the one and only thing good 'ol Dad made just for me." The impostor looms over Sam and pushes his lips against Sam's forehead. 

"All mine." He chuckles while turning to leer at Lucifer with a wink.

Possessive rage floods Lucifer's veins and has him straining against the unbreakable chains that bind him. 

"No He's MINE!" Lucifer screams at the creature wearing his face. The bastard just smirks at him before turning back to peer into Sam's defiant eyes.

"No." Sam bites out with barely a waver of fear coloring his voice. "I don't belong to you, I ain't your anything."

Lucifer feels the familiar tinge of pride for his ever defiant and strong vessel. Sam really is perfect for him, he always loved a challenge-without that where would be the fun? The triumph of winning a prize worth more than any other...and win he would eventually. It was ordained by his father's own words besides, after all, Sam was created just for him.

The impostor snakes his hand to cradle the back of Sam's head and brings his lips to his ear. "Oh how wrong you are Sammy" His breath whispering against Sam's skin causing a shudder of revulsion at their proximity.

"You were made for me." A cruel light flashes in the impostor's eyes. "But, you're ruined now, tainted with the blood of demons, soul full of sin and darkness." He yanks Sam's head back by his hair cruelly.

"But like all of Daddy's humans you are flawed. Broken. Worthless." The impostor takes in Sam's down cast eyes and bowed head. "You know it deep down don't you? You always have know how wrong you are inside-could see it in the way your brother looks at you like the monster you are. In the way you very own Daddy dearest pushed you away, so eager to watch you leave and take your twisted taint away from his precious family."

A single tear slides down Sam's cheek at the bitter words that mirror his own dark thoughts that keep him up late at night. The impostor brings his other hand up to wipe away the single tear in a mockery of care. 

"Don't cry for something you never had, everyone knows Big Daddy Winchester always hated you-and really, how could he love the _thing_ " The impostor spits the word out, " that took away his beautiful wife? The monster in a child's skin that brought ruin to his family."

Sam rapidly shakes his head in denial but the monster in Lucifer's skin wrenches Sam's head back again forcing Sam to look into his eyes. "Don't believe me?" His laughter echoes in the infinite abyss of the cage. "Let's take a trip down memory lane then shall we?"

Reality ripples around them shifting, of course, to the fateful night his mother died. "From the very beginning you brought death...to the very woman who gave you life." A thousand times the vision of his mother's screams as she burned above him has haunted Sam, but the pain and guilt never fades.

This time he watches his father's face as he watches his love burn away before his eyes and the life drain from his face. "If only he knew then that this was just the beginning of your long list of sins." The monster with Lucifer's face whispers into his ear conspiratorially.

Around them reality floods by with a highlight reel of the thousands of bitter looks full of regret his dad had sent at little Sam when he wasn't looking. Sam had always known his father had resented him but he never knew it started when he was still so young. As the little Sam aged his father's scowls grew darker and his drinking worsened.

"Aww poor Daddy Winchester with a cursed son, just look at how much he has to drink just to stand the sight of the abomination in his home."

Sam watches in growing horror unable to turn away from the truth of his broken childhood playing before him. There was no denying his father's disdain as the times he went without his father around grew longer and longer; as if he couldn't stand to even be around his own son.

The news reel of Daddy Issues slows down showing little Sam at 12 and a half...it had been 7 years since the last time his father had said anything nice to him. The words that were thrown around had been growing steadily more hostile and positively steeped in disappointment and resentment.

Sam still remembers this day with crystal clarity, how could he ever forget it?

"This is one of my personal favorites of John Winchester's A+ Parenting-although could you really blame him?" The impostor comments lounging in the ratty couch that always reeked of mildew without a care in the world . "Anyone else would have dumped you in a river if they know what you were, what you would become."

Dean was out late at a party so it was just Sam and John alone in the run down house they were staying at for the last few months. John had been drinking heavily from the moment he had dragged himself out of bed. 

Dean had taken one look and fled, he was smart like that. Poor little Sammy had no such luxury of freedom to flee his father's drunken rage. Sammy instead spent most of the day hiding in his room wishing for a different life.

Around 8 pm little Sam's empty stomach betrayed him demanding food so he risked venturing out to the kitchen for food hoping his father was elsewhere, but his luck was never any good.

His father was sitting at the table bottles strewn around him haphazardly as he drank in the dark with the lights off. When John caught sight of little Sammy his face hardened, eyes dark with hatred. Little Sam glared at his father pissed off that he always had to tip toe around him during the increasingly rare times his father was even around anymore.

"Have you just been drinking all day?" Sam fumed with a miniature version of the bitch face. Big Mistake.

John shot the last of his drink down and stood up towering over his son. His knuckles were white where he gripped the glass bottle. Faster than Sammy could hope to dodge his father's hand holding the bottle struck out back handing his son across the face. The bottom of the glass shattering with the force of the blow sending him crashing down. Sammy was laid out on his back curling in on himself holding a hand to his face trying to hold back the warm blood flowing freely from a half dozen cuts and a split lip.

"The first and last touch he ever gave you, truly a hallmark moment in the Winchester book." The impostor taunted.

Sam can remember the terror, shock, and horror vividly as he stared up at his father helplessly. He almost couldn't breath being pinned down by the rage and fury burning in his father's eyes.

"It's all your fault. She died because of you!" He bellowed at his son and threw the remain glass in his hand against the wall. 

Shards of glass rained around them like the broken pieces of their fucked up little family.

"I wish it had been you instead." His father confessed quietly before walking out the door and into the night. John didn't even spare a backwards glance at his wretched son who was dry heaving to keep silent as sobs wracked his body.

Sam's heartbreak at reliving the moment he first accepted his father would never love him echoes in Lucifer's heart. Lucifer finds himself stunned by his mirror in suffering. The agony of the worst betrayal when his very own father cast him out and Sam's pain are one in the same.

Lucifer pleads for Sam to look at him, begs him to know they are the same, wails that he understands the darkness inside spawned from familial betrayal but Sam cannot hear him. 

The specter with his face turns and grins at Lucifer cold heartedly. 

It is in that moment that he realizes that this hell isn't torture just for Sam---it's for him too. In the infinite time of torture before Sam he had suffered alone. Sure, it wasn't a picnic, but unbelievably he finds watching Sam get torn apart in ways Lucifer understands intimately is worse. Its so much worse.

Lucifer is filled with impotent rage as he watches Sam's proud, strong soul taking blow after blow and breaking down by evil that wears his face. Lucifer thrashes and rages against his chains in futile effort to get to Sam. Lucifer drops to a new low, stooping to begging his father to spare Sam, bargaining with a promise to be a good loyal lap dog for his father-anything to stop the torture of watching Sam's soul die a little more everyday.

It is a small matter of pride that it takes many years before his promised vessel shatters completely, but it is little consolation.

Sam stops arguing as the spark of defiance Lucifer has always cherished sputters and dies-dies at the hands of his specter. It burns in his chest that his promise to never hurt Sam is shattered. It matters little that it wasn't his hands, but hands shaped of his own-the damage is done.

"Oh poor Sammy I'm sorry." The impostor gently traces his finger's over Sam's lips that he had just split from a vicious strike. "You just need to learn a lesson. You are nothing but a disappointment." The impostor lets out a little amused laugh. 

"Hell, you were created for me- and yet! And yet you never cease to disappoint even me, the Big Bad Devil himself." He licks the blood seeping from Sam's lips and savors it as if it were nectar.

"All you were was a tool to get what I wanted, but you couldn't even do that right." He tosses Sam like a rag doll to the ground. "Every word I ever told you was a lie. And. You. Believed. Every. Word." He punctuates each word with a vicious kick to the ribs. 

"So goddamn desperate for any scrap of affection and acceptance that you gave yourself to Satan. Literally Satan. Hate to break it to you Sammy, not even the devil could care for such a pathetic and twisted failure such as yourself."

A flash of holy white light bursts around them stopping the impostor mid rant and sending a surge of hope through Lucifer and a spark lights in Sam's eyes.

"Castiel." Lucifer whispers reverently in wonder at the miracle. Lucifer would know the Winchesters' guardian angel's grace anywhere. A hand glowing with brilliant pure light reaches out to Sam but only manages to grasp his body as Sam's soul is tightly bound in the cage. 

"No!" Lucifer screams out but its too late, Castiel takes the body with him along with it the last spark of hope from Sam's eyes.

The specter howls and howls with laughter, doubling over on himself in glee. Sam curls into himself on the ground shivering. The specter struggles to calm his laughter finally succeeding in relaxing his face into an acidic smile. The specter crouches down next to Sam and pets his hair mockingly. 

"All mine Sammy boy, no one can touch you or have you but me ever again." 

Sam whimpers brokenly on the floor. 

"Dean's pet angel couldn't save you, God wouldn't save you...sorry you had to find out this way, but its all for the best in the end. Now that you know beyond any doubt you'll never be free we can concentrate on the good stuff! Like learning every little different cry of pain you can make for me. You'll be my beautiful symphony of agony Sam, I can't wait to get started!"

Castiel's failure does irreparable damage to Lucifer's spirit. Lucifer had mistakenly believed it couldn't get worse but to have real hope dangled in front of his eyes only to be snatched away was so much worse. The next eternity of torture breaks Lucifer lower than ever. The specter in his skin begins to play a game of good cop bad cop. He'll beat and ravage Sam's soul then disappear freeing Lucifer from his chains.

Unable to help himself Lucifer rushes to Sam to apologies and tell him it wasn't him-that he would never, ever hurt him or lie to him--but Sam cowers scrabbling away with jerky movements in fear the closer Lucifer would get. Lucifer stills his advance holding back the urge to go to his vessel that is in need. Lucifer whispers convictions, apologies and his wishes to stop Sam from ever hurting again.

After hours, that turn into days of Lucifer's earnest words blanketing over Sam something softens ever so slightly in Sam's posture. Sam slowly raises his eyes from the ground to regard Lucifer, the eyes that stare back at him are so earnest Sam blinks and looks away. Just as Sam gathers the last shreds of his courage to look back up Lucifer finds himself flung back to his corner with chains biting into his flesh.

The specter is in his place without skipping a beat, but Sam doesn't know that so when he looks back up and sees the Devil on his knees arms out to his side offering comfort he throws himself into those arms so desperate for comfort.

Lucifer nails tear into his palms as his fingers curl into talons at being so close to touching him and being torn away.

The impostor lovingly strokes Sam's hair rocking him back and forth as Sam clings to him shoulders racking with sobs. "Shhhhhh it's okay Sam, I've got you. I won't hurt you again. Shhhhh." His tender words undermined by the feral grin he sends behind Sam's back to Lucifer.

Lucifer thrashes against the chains that hold him tearing his skin. He is every part a wounded desperate animal now. 

An unholy wail of pure rage claws its way through his throat when the specter kisses Sam's neck and Sam shudders in confused desire. The impostor pushes Sam down on his back trailing kisses along Sam's neck and face. 

"Sam." The impostor whispers against Sam's quivering lips. "Sam..." The impostor presses his lips down onto Sam's gently, lovingly before forcing Sam's lips open with his tongue. Sam inhales sharply through his nose a whine in the back of his throat escaping when the impostor's tongue meets his own.

Sam, confused and overwhelmed by the sudden change of affection from feeling pain jerks against the impostor with the devil's face. He can't process it, he can't move a muscle to fight it. He holds himself eerily still, allowing it to happen. terrified to go against it least Lucifer's mood turn.

Bile rises in Lucifer's throat at the violation upon his vessel. He notes the scrunched up eyes, white knuckles and knows his vessel doesn't want this. Bitter black hatred tunnels his vision to the sight of a monster stealing broken needy sounds out of Sam. 

The impostor trails a hand between their bodies taking hold of what must be Sam's somewhat there erection surprising a pained pleading sound from Sam's lips. The shock of being touched _there_ has Sam arching his back off the floor breaking the unwanted kiss. Sam can't want this, doesn't want this...but his body betrays him eager to feel something besides pain.

"Oh Sam, look at you all needy for me." The impostor squeezes the length in his hand wringing another sound from Sam, just this side of needy.

"You fucking slut." The sting of the slap against his face rings out in the cage. "You dirty, filthy, used up trash actually thought I would take you?" The impostor's face transforms into a grotesque mockery of care, laughter ringing out stark in contrast to the silence. 

"You really are stupid and pathetic to believe anything I've said to you. 'Oh Sam, i'd never lie to you or hurt you. You are the most important thing to me.'" He mocks releasing Sam's flagged erection to grab his throat. 

"Seems you still haven't learned that you are nothing, but that's okay Sammy. I'm a real stand up guy, I have all the time in the universe to teach you your place."

Tears fall from Lucifer's eyes. Never before in all creation has he cried for another, but once he starts he finds himself unable to stop. 

The cruelty of this place, made by his father's hand to punish him by breaking the one thing he ever cared about. Everyone always claimed that he was the source of all evil, but he is his father's creation. All that is evil within him is from his father. This punishment is proof that God is far more cruel than Lucifer could ever be.

Never once had he thought his father could be so cruel to one of his favored humans, but here is Sam....beautiful, perfect Sam throat cracking as he screams in eternal agony all to punish his son who only ever did was he was created to do.

"If God didn't want me to think, to rebel, why would he make me this way?!" Lucifer cries out to the heavens but his outburst goes unanswered.

The cycle would begin anew once Sam was properly broken again and Lucifer would be freed to go to him. 

Every. Fucking. Time. 

Lucifer would be so close and it would be ripped away. His kindness twisted to poison worsening with each failure. He knew every time he went to Sam he was just making it worse so he would fight his desire to go to Sam tooth and nail. Inevitably he broke unable to tolerate Sam suffering all alone clawing at his skin trying to rip it off with self hatred and disgust.

Lucifer began to hate Sam, the Sam that he had become. Once his soul was beautiful, second to none in strength and purity, but now its a broken black mockery of its former glory. Just like Lucifer's would be if he had one.

In a hidden corner of his heart Lucifer has always held a hope that once upon a time when he was truly joined in soul with his true vessel that he could learn to feel good again. To fill the whole his father's ire had created. Now he knows he will never get that. Yes, he had gotten Sam to say yes so very long ago, but instead of joining into one Sam had closed his soul off from him and hidden away. Lucifer never got the pleasure, the joy of *knowing* him and being *known* in return, and he never would.

Lucifer let the foolish fantasy die as he watches the light ebb out of Sam's soul with every cruel barb and strike by the impostor. Sam would never accept that the impostor and Lucifer were different. He would hold onto his hatred and fear for all eternity, Lucifer knew this with certainty, how could anyone not?

Then one day Sam's soul is wrenched away from this place with a truly powerful spell, but Lucifer can hardly muster the energy to feel anything anymore. Time passes and his rage at his father's latest abuse of his creations grows. The one thing created for him and his father wove fate so that his vessel would come to hate him beyond all hope. The irony is not lost on Lucifer, but he is well past caring for anything aside from vengeance.

Time passes and his anger at Sam fades, it always will, how could he hate a part of himself? Of course the torture in the cage couldn't be allowed to go stale so Lucifer is allowed glimpses of Sam above him on Earth. 

At first Lucifer feels peace at the thought of seeing Sam above free from the cage, but he can see the scars and bleeding throughout Sam's fractured soul. Lucifer is forced to watch as the wounds on Sam's soul tear apart his makeshift sanity. 

He has to watch his own face haunt and torture Sam beyond the cage. It's not real, it wasn't him-but Sam believed it was and it cuts deep into Lucifer's heart to watch as Sam's life fall apart by the taint of being destined and promised to Lucifer. Lucifer curses his father's name in fury and promises vengeance he knows he is as of yet powerless to deliver.

Eventually Sam is able to break free of the specter haunting his hemorrhaging soul. Lucifer is torn between pride at viewing Sam regaining some small measure of strength to cast out his demon, but loneliness sets in when he loses his fleeting glimpses of Sam.

An untold amount of time passes with only his rage and the impostor to keep him company in his seemingly endless torment. His face laughing in glee reminiscing how broken they made Sam, how Lucifer went above and beyond this time in destroying something. 

"After all" his own voice echoes back at him, "I couldn't have done it without you."

A sensation of pure destructive power rattles the cage disrupting the impostor. Darkness oozes and seeps in through cracks in the cage wrought from the burst of power. The Darkness flows across Lucifer, its all consuming rage resonates with his own.

This feeling he has known inextricably- the first of his father's "gifts" that only wrought misery.

Lucifer feels his face pull into a smile as it flows through his fingers and back out through the cracks corrupting the cage in its wake. Lucifer bring all of his immense power into himself and blasts it out through the widest of the cracks and out of the cage.

"Oh yes, I can work with this." He murmurs and mentally commands the wisps of his power to Sam. "I will get you back, and do it right this time my Sammy."

"Together we will wreak havoc and vengeance upon my father for what he has done to us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ain't got no beta Lt Daaan. Noticed quite a few mistakes and really messy writing so I fixed 'er up as best as I'm currently capable of. Sorry for offending your precious eyes with typos.


	2. The Vision and The Last Option

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has a vision, but what he sees and feels goes against everything he has known his whole life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short set up chapter before fun minicage times :D

Sam hears thunder crackling around him, lightning flashing red behind his closed eyes. His heart seizes in his chest.

'It can't be.' Breath held he opens his hazel eyes and is greeted by familiar walls bathed in sickening blue light.

He can't breath. 

He turns around slowly in disbelief, desperate for anything besides the cage walls burned into his very soul. His mouth works open and closed but his throat constricts strangling his cry. Sam turns full circle to discover Lucifer in the corner stalking him with his eyes.

Sam's entire body tenses as if touched by a live wire scaring out a gasp of breath from his aching lungs. The sight of the Devil who spent untold time torturing him leaves Sam trembling. Sam sucks in tiny huffs of breath that barely reach his lungs before being forced out again.

Sam's worst nightmare comes to life.

His body's visceral reaction to seeing Lucifer in the flesh leaves Sam unable to do more than shake in silence waiting for the pain to begin anew.

Lucifer's smile slips as his gaze sweeps over Sam. Straightening up from his causal sprawl against the cage wall Lucifer takes a slow step closer to Sam.

Sam. Can't. Fucking. Move.

He is a statue choking in short gasps of air, eyes blown wide in terror as Lucifer calmly steps into his space. With a carefully controlled look utterly devoid of emotion or expression Lucifer stops a foot away from Sam.

It could have been years or mere moments that they stood there regarding one another for all that Sam could tell in his panic. One face in abject terror, the other unreadable. 

Sam felt the air move as Lucifer brought his hand up slowly towards his face, but he can't look away from Lucifer's eyes. Waiting, always waiting for the change to madness that befell an assault. 

Sam knows better than to cower or fight against Lucifer. It always made it worse when he didn't just take his deserved punishment. That in mind, Sam wills himself to only the barest of flinches when Lucifer's hand touches his face.

He waits. He waits for the pain that he knows will come. He waits for Lucifer to reveal the ever storming rage that waits behind his eyes. 

Lucifer's eyes gentle instead of burn, his lips tilt into a ghost of a smile. Lucifer softly strokes Sam's cheek with his thumb.

Sam's mind and instincts scream at him that this is a trick to make it worse if he lets his guard down, but a sudden wave of calm overcomes him against his will.

All his terror is gone and replaced with a feeling of pure rightness from Lucifer's soft touch. Sam feels whole in a way he has never known.

God help him, it feels divine.

The feeling of peace and contentment doesn't leave him when he finds himself back in the forest. Even the singing of the birds seems happier.

"Is this really the answer?" Sam asks the heavens. "Is this what you want?" He doesn't expect and answer from Chuck-God-Whatever, but behind him a fire crackles to life. He turns to witness a burning bush. 

An, actual to God, Burning Bush. Sam shakes his head once at his life then raises his eyes to the heavens in acceptance.

 

Obviously Dean Does. Not. Accept it like Sam had. Dean wasn't there and can't understand how Sam just **knew** it was right; a divine message.

"Its not gonna happen!" Dean yells across the table once Sam tells him he plans to pit Lucifer against The Darkness. 

"How many times do I have to say that this is a horrible idea?"

"About as many times as I have to say 'okay, then what else we got?' Listen, I'm all ears." Dean leans back in frustration but Sam presses on.

"Dean, ordinarily I'd agree with you, but the visions only happen when I reach out to God. I asked him for a way to beat The Darkness and the visions got more specific."

Sam falters a bit struggling to confess why he believes in the vision. It is not going to go well having to explain how Lucifer made him feel, but he's really trying his best to continue their new policy of not stupidly hiding shit from each other anymore.

"...and I was in the cage." Sam confesses voice soft. Dean's eyes bore into him as if Sam is being particularly slow.

"Yeah with Lucifer, the biggest monster ever freaking hatched." Dean gestures his arms out with a 'woop dee doo' motion. "Fan-Freaking-Tastic."

"You know what? Lucifer was the biggest monster to ever hatch until you and I hatched one that's even worse." Sam fires back then takes a big deep breath intent on getting it all out there.

"Listen, in the vision Lucifer...touches me..." Dean scrutinizes Sam, face deadly serious until Sam has to look away.

"And...and I feel calm, like things with be alright-and that's not something I would ever come up with." Dean's face might as well be stone. "I mean that is the last thing I would ever feel."

"Yeah that would be the last thing if he touched you. Ever." Dean rises from the table moving over to pour himself a glass of whiskey.

Whiskey is good, really good. This is getting dangerously close to _feelings_ and Dean will be damned if he ever has to talk feely-girly bullshit without a strong drink in hand. It is the Winchester way after all.

Sam waits as Dean takes a big gulp of the amber liquid. It burns down Deans throat so familiar and welcome. Already feeling the liquid courage doing its work Dean retakes his seat with the air of a man going to his funeral. 

Dean thought he was done with Lucifer, thought they were both finally free of it. God damn it all to hell, with even the thought of having Lucifer back on the board scares Dean. The times he was closest to losing Sam forever, Lucifer had been involved in one way or another. 

Dean could give two shits about himself, but Sammy...he'd never seen Sammy as low as when he had his memories of the cage. To be told by God he'd have to let his little brother go back there, with the freaking Devil?! God can shove it as far as Dean is concerned. 

"After he touched me I got, I don't know flashes? Impressions? Of my time in the cage, before." Dean opens his mouth but Sam silences him quickly with a hand.

"No not like that, nothing bad. More like hazy pictures of myself from outside. It's weird but I could feel that there were two Lucifers in there with me. One good, one bad. I don't know what that means, if...if it was a metaphor or some crap about him still being an angel despite being the Devil, or if if it was God trying to show me that he could be good? 

"All I know is that the one that was...hate to say it...kind to me in there felt the same as the Lucifer I saw in the vision God sent me."

"That's all well and good IF it was a vision from God, but how the hell do you know it wasn't some trick? What proof is there its from God and not just a play for us to let the Devil slip the leash again?"

"There was a burning bush."

"There was a burning bush?" Dean repeats slowly his temper rising.

"...Like in the bible?" Sam's tone is positively dripping with bitchiness.

"You were in a forest and there are bushes there and sometimes they burn!" Dean growls back. He takes a deep breath pushing down his anger at how their life is.

"Maybe there is something to it all. Maybe. Maybe there's not."

"Dean, doesn't it make sense? I mean, Lucifer would know how God ended The Darkness." Unable to help himself from adding in a patronizing tone, "I mean he was there." 

Dean shakes his head then downs the rest of the glass in one go. He's gonna need it, they are down to the wire now. No more hidden weapons, but the one they locked away. He can't argue against it.


	3. The Journey of Healing and Dean Winchester's C- Parenting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer takes Sam on a trip down memory lane in attempts to repair his abused soul.

Sam finds himself standing outside of the miniature cage built to contain Lucifer as Rowena chants the spell to bring Lucifer forth. His heart rate rise along with Rowena's chant as the fear he has held back starts to bubble up to the surface. This is really happening. They are really doing this. 

He can't do this. Sam ducks behind a wall as the spell is nearing completion. 

It takes a few moments to wrestle some small measure of control back over himself and when he can once again focus outside himself he notes the flames have receded. Lucifer's and Crowley's calm voices float over to him but he can't understand the words with his mind clouded by panic. 

He chants to himself that he can do this, clutches onto the feeling of peace from his vision and prays for all he's worth for it to be true. 

A few moments pass before the calm creeps in over taking his panic. His thundering heart slows to a reasonable pace, steady breaths. Now or never he tells himself and takes a step out from his hiding place and into line of sight of Lucifer. Lucifer inhales through his nose deeply, his posture changing to lean towards Sam when their eyes meet.

"Sam Winchester, my old roomie." Lucifer scrunches up his shoulders in a shrug. "Hug it out?" He jokes with a playful tone. Rowena and Crowley wisely go scarce with just a flicker of Lucifer's ancient eyes on them.

"I have to say, I'm a little...in The Dark about this meeting." Smirking as he paces the length of the cage trailing his fingers along the bars. "Am I up for parole? Time off for bad behavior?" His attempt to get a rise out of Sam falls flat, the younger Winchester has hardly taken a breath since he stepped out into sight.

"I don't really get visitors." Lucifer tilts his head down bashfully in way he doesn't have to fake.

"If it weren't for the crisis top side you wouldn't be getting one now." 

Inside Lucifer smiles when Sam's deep voice comes out strong without even a quiver. He is glad to see that some of Sam's strength has returned since he last had glimpses of him.

"Crisis?"

"Your...uh, aware of The Darkness?" Well that came out awkward as hell.

"Yikes that doesn't sound good." Lucifer cringes theatrically. "I'm aware of what she was but that was eons ago." Lucifer dances around the conversation skillfully avoiding outright lying to Sam and breaking his word while maintaining his deception. Letter of the law not the spirit.

"She's been released. She's out now, somewhere, everywhere on Earth." Lucifer chews on a nail spitting it out in nonchalance.

"How ever did that happen?" He dead pans knowingly. Sam's face contorts in annoyance then settles in begrudging acceptance. He deserved that.

"The point is that she poses a threat to all that exists-including you." Sam says gravely, but Lucifer just lets out a little hum as if they were talking about the weather.

"That leads me to my next question; where is the big burrito himself?" Lucifer turns his back to Sam walking deeper into the tiny cage lifting his arms upward. "Where is God in all this?" He does a mockery of the sign of the cross.

"All current indications of his presence are that there are no indications of his presence." Sam recites as if he had practiced that many times before.

"What?" Lucifer turns back to Sam. "Caught the fun bus out of town?" He chews his bottom lip between his teeth. "Figures."

"But recently he has reached out to an...interested party." Sam's hedging sounds weak to his own ears.

"Who?"

"Me." Sam admits setting his shoulders back and stares Lucifer in the eyes defiantly. The long lost defiance sends a thrill down Lucifer's spine.

"You?" Lucifer points at Sam but Sam holds his ground.

"He answered my prayers." Lucifer returns to leaning against the cage bars nearest Sam.

"Did he now?" Lucifer presses his lips together to hide his joy, he had almost forgotten how how fun it was playing words with his earnest vessel. "And what was his suggestion?"

The tendons stand out in Sam's neck as he struggles to force the admission out.

"To seek out...you" It's clear how much it costs the younger man to get the words out so Lucifer moves to lighten the mood.

"Get out of town, seriously?" He laughs with a shrug. "Who would have thunk it." Sam doesn't laugh but, hey at least he tried.

"I completely get why you came to me...can't ignore God right? God says jump and everybody says how high."

"So does this mean you're on board?" Sam plows on cutting right to the point.

"Well, I did help Dad seal up The Darkness all those years ago. She's quite a force, determined to take over everything even back then. Prone to tantrums-I can see why pop is laying low." Lucifer tongues his cheek in thought as he formulates the frame work of a plan.

"Now that sis is here God's not the only circus in town."

"Is...she equal to him in power?" 

"Raw power? Sure. She's got none of the...experience. God is a master strategist. That's why you're here." Sam's eyebrows raise in question.

"And why's that?" 

Hook line and sinker.

"Well God needs me to help put the cat back in the bag, can't do it by himself. Seen that movie."

"And?" Sam shakes his head not understanding the logic.

"And I need a ride out of here. I mean I look swell in here and everything, but I'd be so much smoke topside."

Sam's mouth opens wide but it takes a moment for him to even take a breath at the revelation of his worst fear. "You want a vessel." Lucifer nods thoughtfully.

"One who's...strong enough to hold me, handy-and available now." Lucifer drawls with a wink. "Catch my drift?" Sam stands statue still in shock before a fire of outrage lights behind his eyes. 

'That's the spirit' Lucifer internally praises.

"Did you really expect me to agree to this?" Lucifer nods as if it were obvious. "So what? I just disappear while you take my body and get set loose on the world again?" Another nod.

"I know, I know. It's a lot to ask but desperate time call for desperate measures."

"That's not desperate, that's certifiable!"

"Okay, okay hold on a second there cowboy, take a breath. You have been working with Crowley. You passes certifiable three off ramps ago. Now I'm no fan of the ruler of the universe but here I am. Ready to pitch in. Sam, why do you think God sent you to me? To get my help, which I only now just offered. A message from God, you can't say no to that." 

Lucifer smiles thinking he has Sam right where he wants him, but Sam's soft "no" wipes the smile off his face.

"I won't do it, there has to be another way." 

That won't do, that won't do at all. Lucifer flexes his power dropping the wards and pulling Sam in with him.

"Together again. Hey Sam, did you miss me? I think you did." Lucifer prowls into Sam's space until the younger man's back hits the cage bars. Sam closes his eyes taking in a deep breath and forces his body still.

"I have to say, you're extraordinarily calm considering the circumstances." Lucifer observes thoughtfully.

"That's cause that pretty much exactly how God told me it was gonna be. Guess I just have to with it and play my hand."

Lucifer bows his head a little sad to dispel the illusion of a quest from God.

"That would make so much sense if it was God that was doing the talking. See Sam when the Darkness was released the impact on Hell was massive and the cage was damaged. Through the fissures I was able to reach out. It wasn't God inside your head Sam, it was me. So you see he's not with you. He's never been with you. It was always. Just. Me."

"So I guess I am your only hope?" Lucifer fills his words with reassurance that'll he will always be there for Sam, but judging by the lone tear sliding down the younger man's face that's not how Sam took his words.

"That's never gonna happen."

"Ah that, well settle in roomie. Upper bunk? Lower bunk?" Lucifer pauses raking his eyes up and down Sam's frame. "...or do you want to share?" Lucifer's voice drops suggestively low. With anyone else it would be in jest, but there is not a single way that Lucifer doesn't desire his vessel. Sam doesn't outwardly react to the Devil's half serious flirting, which Lucifer is willing to take as a win since it wasn't a Hell no.

"The visions, everything, was all you." Lucifer's lips curl into the beginnings of a smile.

"Impressive right?"

"And Rowena?"

"Did as she was told." Lucifer makes a face as if tasting something sour. "Groupies...always so eager."

"So you what? Did all that just to what? Jump my bones?" Lucifer has really grown to love Sam's Bitch Face.

"Literally." The easiest truth Lucifer has ever told.

"Well you've wasted your time then cause you see I know how this ends." Sam strolls casually away.

"Oh do you now?" Lucifer sing-songs keeping pace with Sam.

"You'll taunt me, and you'll torture me when I tell you no, and eventually sooner than you think my brother is gonna walk through that door and kick your ass." Lucifer doesn't hold back the laugh from the delight of Sam's impassioned words. Oh how he likes him when he's feisty.

"Dean?" He asks incredulously. "You're betting on Dean?"

"I always have." Lucifer hums thoughtfully at Sam's blind and total faith in his older brother despite the countless betrayals.

"Well Sam you've got me all wrong."

"I doubt that." Sam scoffs.

"Oh no, I'm not here to torture ya. I'm not gonna harm a single hair on that glorious head of yours." Lucifer prowls into Sam's space, a breath away. He strokes a finger against said glorious hair.

"Then what do you want?" Sam whispers.

"To make you an offer you can't refuse. You see Sam you need me and I'm gonna prove it to you." Lucifer whispers right back. Lucifer places a finger to Sam's forehead and takes them back to a memory much like his cage counter part had done, but with the goal of healing Sam, not hurting him.

"Recognize it?" Lucifer asks Sam as he turns about taking in the campus park surrounding him where he once studied law several lifetimes(literally) ago.

"What?"

"We're in a memory Sam, one of the few good ones from your childhood. Always knew I had daddy issues, but you...wow. anyway, I think you recognize the dashing young bean pole over there." Lucifer leans in towards Sam and points to a couple at a bench.

"That's me." Sam states dumbly staring in surprise at his younger self. He glances at Lucifer and catches a look of pride in his eyes 

Lucifer walks over to a nearby bench and plops down. He rests both his arms open wide on the back of the bench in hopes Sam will join him, but he just stands there awkwardly to the side. 'Aww well I tried.' Lucifer thinks as he leans back getting comfortable to enjoy seeing younger Sam conversing with the girl passionately.

Lucifer watches with rapt attention not missing a moment of young Sam so full of life and fire. 

"Look at that Sam, a simple girl from a one stop white town and you; worldly, handsome-ish(Lucifer must remain honest, he prefers Sam with more meat on his bones) Sam Winchester. She didn't stand a chance, you remember?" Lucifer reminisces fondly.

"Yeah I remember but why-"

"Shhh shhh. This is the best part." Lucifer hushes him leaning forward with his hands clasped between his knees like he were watching his favorite scene from his favorite movie. Lucifer's eyes twinkle watching younger Sam make the moves on the girl. The moment the two kiss Lucifer jumps to his feet in excitement.

"BOOM!" He gestures excitedly towards the couple looking at Sam. "That's it! That's what I'm talking about right there man." He stares at Sam's lips but Sam refuses to turn and look at the devil hovering over his shoulder.

"Kissing?" His tone is clear he thinks Lucifer has lost his mind.

"Nah man, this is the Sam Winchester that I remember. Bold, decisive, solid B on the tongue action." Lucifer throws in at the end as to prevent lying-the kiss was one of his favorite parts after all.

"What is this about?"

"You used to be a hero Sam. Hell, you beat me. Now? I don't know, I look at you and I don't even recognize you anymore." Lucifer admits sadly before shifting them to the next stop.

"Stull Cemetery?" Sam reads out loud. 

"Where the title fight went down." They watch as Castiel slams Micheal with holy fire, Lucifer's face pinched with confusion. He doubts he could ever really understand the strange things Castiel does. "Ass Butt----I...I uh still don't get that."

"Look I appreciate the stroll down memory lane but..."

"Sam have I ever told you how much I respect you?" Lucifer blind sides Sam with it was out of left field. For the first time since traveling his memories Sam fully turns to Lucifer and looks at him in surprise.

"What?" He asks softly in confusion.

"Oh no don't get me wrong I like you (I love you), never liked you. You're. . . sort of prissy-but in this moment when you stood toe to toe with me and won. I gotta say you surprised and impressed me. You had balls kid."

Lucifer's face softens at the fond memory and he continues on in a reverent tone. "You were willing to do the hard thing if it meant saving the world." Sam quietly takes in the fallen angel's words. "But that's not you anymore. You've been broken Sammy." Lucifer lays his hand down on Sam's shoulder causing the younger man to turn and face him. 

"I know you don't trust me, normally a smart move on your part, but I swear to you that I. Will. Fix. You." Sam scrutinizes Lucifer's face trying to spot the deceptions must be lurking behind the Devil's eyes.

"If only you'd let me in you could see for yourself with those big, puppy dog eyes what I see when I look at you-how amazing you were-and could be again." 

Sam opens his mouth to no doubt reject him once again, but Lucifer cuts him off with a shake of his head and a wag of his finger.

"I know, I know what you're gonna say, 'oh no Mr. Devil! I'll never let you in. . .again.' " 

Sam's bitch face at full power is so delicious, can't really blame a guy for poking him when he gives such wonderfully expressive reactions.

"Not that our short time together was anything to base our growing relationship on." He says with a wink kicking the bitch face up to 11. "Anyway- I get it. You're really no ready. Not yet. I'm willing to take it slow with you baby-but this way is. . .a lot more unpleasant." 

Fear flickers across Sam's features and Lucifer moves quickly to correct the mistaken assumption. 

"No, no I won't hurt you. Hurting you is the last thing I would ever want. But, what I have next to show you will be painful to go through again. If I know you Winchesters, which I do....intimately...I'll have to show you first hand how you were broken else the pattern pending Winchester Repression™ will continue to keep you blind."

A genuine expression of heartfelt regret ripples across the arch angel's features. "This will hurt me more than it hurts you, that you can trust." He says sincerely lips turned down.

A flash of white and Sam's muscles turn to steel under Lucifer's hand. Sam can't-doesn't remember this place, but his soul does. Terror and horror rampage through him as never before. Sam stares wide eyed at the cage surrounding him, threatening to swallow him whole.

A muffled whimper escapes his quivering lips and then Lucifer is stepping in front of him. Lucifer moves his hands to Sam's face turning his head away from the walls and leans in close, almost nose to nose so that he takes up all of Sam's field of vision. 

"Shhh its okay, I've got you Sammy. Just look at me." Sam's whited out eyes slowly track to Lucifer's deep blue eyes that are full of concern and strength.

"I know how the cage broke you. . .I had to watch helpless while God's most beautiful creation was twisted and torn asunder and I had to watch powerless how your soul tried to cope above with the memories. . .that won't happen again. I won't let it." Lucifer swears to Sam with such conviction that Sam can't help but relax ever so slightly in the face of. . .that.

"You all are always forgetting this boogy man also happens to be one of the most-if not the most- powerful arch angels in creation. I have you wrapped up tight and snug inside my grace. Can't you feel it? That warm snuggly feelings holding you? That's me baby, I ain't called The Morning Star for nothin'. Hell, I'm down right. . .hot."

Sam's lips twitch up on their own. Lucifer really is god damn(heh) ridiculous. Sam can see where Loki/Gabriel got his humor from. Lucifer's stare pierces deep into Sam looking straight into his very soul. Sam is laid bare before him, but oddly he doesn't feel vulnerable under the scrutiny while he is surrounded by Lucifer's grace. Warmth is wrapped around him like a blanket fresh from the dryer on a winter's night.

Lucifer nods satisfied with what ever he reads in Sam's soul.

"alright let's get all Tarantino with this bitch and hop to the beginning." Lucifer snaps his fingers and they are both standing outside the burning Winchester house. It's just four year old Dean and baby Sam outside it. Their father is inside saving what little he can from the flames. Baby Sam is crying loudly while Dean holds his baby brother close to his chest.

"Its okay Sammy, I got chu." He breathes into the wisps of dark hair adorning Sammy's head. 

"I won't let go of you ever, your big brother will keep you safe. I promise." Sammy's wailing quiets down with the tender string of promises from a child too young for the responsibility literally thrust into his arms.

"This is where your family was first broken, and yet what made it grow stronger." Lucifer says with a wave of his hand. "I really don't like your brother, but I admire how well he tried to keep these promises made when he was just a babe himself. Admirable effort-for a mortal."

Sam turns his gaze away from watching the two brothers huddled together in the darkness to look at Lucifer surprised by the admission of a human having favorable traits. Lucifer avoids meeting Sam's eyes as he continues to stare at the young Winchester brothers with a hint of what? Jealousy mixed with longing in his eyes? 

Sam thinks back to all the interactions between Lucifer and Micheal and all the hatred and fire Micheal had spewed at this own brother. Despite it all Lucifer had kept trying to get Micheal to acknowledge him as family and prevent their ordained fight to the death.

Lucifer blinks and all the emotion on his face is shoved back down deep inside leaving him blank. Empty. He looks up to see Sam studying his face.  
Whoops.

"Hey don't look at me like that. This ain't about my mile long list of issues. This is about you. Yes, yes I'll admit it hits a little close to home, but we're here for you."

Not giving Sam a chance to comment Lucifer wills the memory to change flowing forward through the years highlighting the many, many times Dean stepped up to be there for his little brother as their father faded more and more into the background obsessed with finding his wife's killer.

The happy memory of sitting on Dean's handle bars with one of Dean's arms wrapped around his waist to hold him steady as he peddled them both towards the hospital after Sam's failed attempt at flying. 

The awkward talk of puberty and sex he got from Dean when he asked about hair growing in...places. Dean trying to play it cool but his blush betrays him.

The slide show slows down to the eventful night when John told Sammy how he really felt about him on the anniversary of Mary's death.

Lucifer flicks his eyes up to Sam, his jaw is clenched as he watches his younger self curl into a ball on the floor surrounded by glass.

"Why would you show me this?" The 'again' goes unsaid but not unheard. "Dean left for a party and left me alone." Lucifer squeezes Sam's shoulder and pulls lightly turning Sam away from the heart wrenching scene to face him. Sam reluctantly meets Lucifer's eyes searching for malice but finds only tenderness.

"Oh Sam, when Meany Cage Monster Me showed you this he cut it off. Back then you were in too much shock from grade A hole Daddy-o to remember the rest of the night." 

"But. . ." Sam starts confused.

"But, as it so happens we have been lucky to have had almost all of the Winchester clan down here in hell at one time or another." Lucifer leans in and drops his voice conspiratorially low. His words hot against Sam's cheek. "Thanks to a certain unnamed over achieving underling I acquired access to their memories so we can see the special features behind the scenes."

Lucifer pushes Sam's cheek with a finger turning the younger man's head to look out the open door his father had just stormed out of. The perspective shifts to outside the building. They watch as John stumbles out the door and runs into 16 year old Dean.

"Where are you going?" Dean ask scathingly and side steps his father to look inside the dark house. He immediately catches sight of his younger brother curled up on the ground surrounded by glass body shaking with silent sobs. Deans eyes flicker around the room quickly taking in the scene before him and putting two and two together to get a shitty answer he doesn't like.

A bright burning rage flares up taking control. Dean spins around and sees his father's retreating form and sees red. He catches up in 3 long strides, pulls his father's arm and twists him around to face him and slams his fist as hard as he can into his father's surprised face.

John is knocked down into the side of the rotting fence surrounding their house. He leans heavily against it blinking against the stars his oldest son's perfectly executed punch had given him. When his vision clears Dean towering over him, his face twisted into a disgusted fury he wished he didn't recognize from the mirror so many times.

Dean grabs John by the the collar and pulls him close as to make sure that his drunk old man doesn't miss a single word.

"Don't you fucking EVER touch him again!" Dean roars into his father's ashen face. "If I ever see you touch him again, I'll take him, leave and you'll never see either of us again. I'm good enough to disappear, after all you taught me just how easy it is. Touch him again and you're dead to me. You get me old man?"

John tilts his head in shamed acceptance. Dean just snarls in his face before throwing him down against the fence and turning his back on his father. 

Sam is stunned in silence as he watches Dean, Dean who was always Dad's Yes Man turn his back on their father. Sam never knew that this happened, that Dean chose him over their dad. An ache builds in Sam's chest as he watches 16 year old Dean step around the glass and gently pick up his passed out younger self and carry him to bed. 

Sam doesn't realize he's crying until Lucifer wipes one of the tears away. Sam flinches hard surprised at how he had completely forgotten the devil at his shoulder he was so moved by his brother's actions. Sam turns and peels his eyes away from watching the younger Dean carefully cleaning the split lip little Sammy got from their dad.

"He-" Sam coughs cleaning his throat as his voice cracks over flowing with emotion. "He never said. . . I never knew. . ." Sam trails off as more tears fall from his eyes to be gentled away by Lucifer's hand. Lucifer silently supports Sam with his touch, and the warmth of his grace as Sam works through what he's feeling on his own-but not alone.

The ache in Sam's chest is burning him up from the inside. The pain from his father is being over taken by the soothing warmth of his brother always having his back, especially when he needed it the most. The juxtaposed feelings war within him for a time before settling down.

Sam huffs out a wet laugh expelling the tension inside him. He looks back up to meet Lucifer's midnight blue eyes. Lucifer's lips are twisted in a bitter sweet smile for Sam. Sam sees the echo of his pain within the Arch Angel of a betrayed, broken family. Sam's heart bleeds for Lucifer, who didn't have a brother who took his side, to hold him together. 

Before he thinks about it long enough to change his mind Sam raises his hands and places them atop Lucifer's against his face. They stand there faces pressed close staring into one another's sad/happy eyes closer than ever before in spirit and understanding. The sorrow fades from Lucifer's eyes as Sam sees him. Really sees him like no other in creation could.

Sam opens his mouth, but words escape him. What do you say to someone when you know exactly how they feel? 

'I'm sorry, I know' all of that would being meaningless if it were said to him so Sam remains silent and lightly squeezes the back of Lucifer's hands in comfort. 

Lucifer's eyes widen at the unexpected kindness he is being shown, a kindness he never thought he could truly get. The urge to pull Sam tight against his body is nearly overwhelming. He knows better than to reach for more when he shouldn't even be getting this now so he forces himself to pull back and away. He wills them back to the faux cage with a thought. 

He turns away from Sam and walks to the far corner giving Sam space to process now that he's seen with his own eyes Some of the damage beginning to mend in Sam's soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for delay, quit smoking half way through this then couldn't concentrate enough to write ANYTHING until withdrawals died down. ㅠ_ㅠ


	4. The Last Option and Plan B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer pitches his offer to Sam and he's so sure that Sam will say yes this time, but can Sam really ever trust The Devil?

"I know this is a lot to take in, and I wish I could give you more time to noodle on it, but the world IS ending. Tick, tock. the clock is ticking and such. You follow me yeah?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"A little word that starts with 'Y' ends with 'E S'" Lucifer sing-songs playfully but Sam just stares at him.

"Okay you don't like me. I get it. I- sometimes I don't like me either, but Gabriel and Raphel are dead." Lucifers eyes flicker downward guiltily over Gabriel's name.

"God. . .went out for a pack of smokes and never came back. Micheal? Well let's just say prison life hasn't agreed with Micheal. These days he's usually sitting in a corner singing show tunes and touching himself." 

Lucifer shakes his head at that one, not a lie even though he wishes it were. Oh how far his high and mighty tight ass brother has fallen.

"So you're it?" Sam observes flatly from where he is sitting in the corner of the faux cage.

"I'm it." Lucifer shrugs and awkwardly huffs out a laugh. "And hey- I'm not the good guy. We both know I'm not." Sam raises his eyes troubled by the admission.

"But The Darkness? She's the end of everything." The forced levity in Lucifer's voice dies. 

His pitch to Sam is grave, his eyes imploring the younger man to not take light of his dire warnings. Lucifer moves over to Sam and crouches down in front of him so they are eye to eye once more.

"But I can beat her. We can beat her." Lucifer drops his voice to an intimate whisper. "You and me together." Sam squirms with the intensity of all of Lucifer's focus on him.

"So come on Sam, make the right choice. Big sacrifice, one more time man. Sam, its time to save the world."

Sam sits there in silence as the seconds tick by without a breath of movement between them. Lucifer had already gifted him a half hour of precious time to digest their little trip down memory lane without one single word of interruption.

Sam didn't waste one moment of it. He took to reordering his out look on his family, his own worth and what all of Lucifer's actions towards him could mean.

He wants desperately to believe Lucifer. His words of caring for Sam, wanting to help, and all his promises. Sam's heart aches for his twin in familial woes and it urges Sam to believe the fallen angel.

What a wonderfully fucked up world he lives in when Sam actually WANTS to have a kindred spirit with The DEVIL! The knowing looks, the gentle touches just how and when Sam needed them most. Sam may be a Winchester but he has always been more in touch with his feelings and being honest with himself than the rest of his family.

Deep down Sam knows Lucifer is right about him, and about them. What they could become to each other if he let go. Two broken pieces that slide together ans somehow fit. Just fit together so perfectly its like they are one.

Sam can see it with how already his heart feels years lighter with just a touch of Lucifer's care. With The Morning Star bringing to light just how much Dean had stepped up to care for him over the years.

At the same time Sam can't forget all the horrors Lucifer has wrought upon mankind. His own kind.

Lucifer ended Gabriel, his closest brother, with his own hands. 

Lucifer is The Deceiver, The Father of Murder, The Tempter. Lucifer taught Loki, The God of mischief, everything he knew. So how can Sam be sure of anything he was shown, the words said or how Lucifer made him feel?

Sure, Lucifer said he would never lie to him and thus far Sam hasn't caught him out in a lie- but a promise from a liar's mouth is but a breath in a hurricane. 

Sam's soul remembers the torture in the cage by Lucifer's hand- his cruelty and kindness both killing him in equal measure.

So what? Lucifer says it wasn't him doing it. Not his words. Not his hands. But it had his face all the same.

Who is to say that at best it wasn't Lucifer's dark desires come alive? Maybe consciously The Devil keeps his promises, but at his core the twisted passion that had gotten him cast out from Heaven's light would be striving to take control of his actions. 

Maybe those twisted cravings for blood and pain manifested in the flesh within the cage.

There are so many what ifs. There is no way Sam can know, and that is the heart of the problem.

Sam doesn't know. 

Sure his bleeding heart that always is looking for the good in monsters was to believe. Sam has known good werewolves and other so called monsters stayed on the path of good.

Despite that he has never known a monster who fully embraced the darkness in their hearts and come back to the side of light. 

It just doesn't happen.

The enormity of the decision weighs heavily on Sam. He knows what he must say but his heart constricts in pain and fear that takes his breath away. He can't fight the feeling of wrongness as his answer slips from his lips a barely audiable whisper of air.

"No."

Sam shakes his head and faces Lucifer marshaling his courage and determination to see this through.

"No." He says again louder and with more certainty.

Sam watches the small spark of hope die in Lucifer's eyes and is filled with regret. Lucifer blinks rapidly clearly surprised by Sam's choice.

Lucifer reels backwards putting some distance between them. He turns away to Sam won't see the emotions warring on his face but he can't stop the quiver and break of his voice when he speaks again.

"What do you mean no?!"

"You heard me." Sam retorts keeping his voice level this time as his resolve solidifies.

"Okay Sam I gotta tell you this is selfish. Everything I-" Sam cuts off Lucifer's increasingly emotional words.

"You are done. Its over."

Lucifer looks at Sam as if he kicked a puppy. The big bad devil curls in on himself in a subconscious position of defense so Sam stands and takes up the offense while the blonde man's defense is down.

"You know what? You talk a good game. You do. Hell, you almost had me sold a few times, but then I thought: What if you're right? What if you're telling the truth? What if you can beat her?"

"I CAN!" Lucifer yells out taking a step back into Sam's space. Sam doesn't back down and instead leans forward letting his anger show on his face.

"Even though last time it took you and THREE other ARCH ANGELS! Oh. Yeah. And capital G God."

"Oh okay, you mean the dead weight?" Lucifer spits back not giving an inch.

"Okay let's say you gank her. Then what?"

Lucifer hadn't really let himself think that far ahead in detail. For so long his biggest driving desires since being cast into the damned cage were:

1\. Escape the cage (duh)

and

2\. Becoming one with his true vessel Sam.

If-when he beat The Darkness with Sam he'd already have everything he wanted so everything else would just be gravy and unimportant to Lucifer.

Last time they were together Sam locked himself away while Lucifer did what he wanted setting motion to the long laid plans of purging the Earth of humanity. This time Lucifer wants it to be different, he wants him and Sam to truly be joined.

He'd be willing to take the back seat as much as Sam needs, and for as long as it takes to gain his vessel's trust. Knowing Sam, as he does, he'll be taken along for hunting road trips and saving people.

"We'll get away." Lucifer responds with a shrug, "Solve crimes."

"Wrong." Sam breaks in with an angry finger jabbed in the Devil's direction. "Then you go about starting the Apocalypse AGAIN because you're an old dog and that's your old trick."

Sam's accusation stabs Lucifer right where he is most vulnerable. Lucifer had thought that Sam had seen him-really seen into his heart when they shared a moment in memory lane, but he couldn't have. 

Sam, HIS Sam spouting the same crap about how he knows what evil thing Lucifer wants, when really he doesn't hurts. It hurts worse than even when his own father had done it.

"First off, you don't know that. Second, even if I did that's better than what she has planned."

"Is it? Really? 'Cause this is what I think, I think that who ever wins. You or The Darkness. Everyone else loses." Lucifer grinds his teeth in the face of Sam's words.

"So no. My answer is no."

Lucifer chokes out a laugh so he doesn't cry even as his eyes begin to gleam.

"This isn't cause of Dean o-or t-the past." Sam's speech quakes over the word. "This is about me having faith. In my friends. Having faith in my family. we will find a way."

Oh the irony is not lost on Lucifer that the one thing that Sam had listened to, understood, and trusted from all that Lucifer had shown him today had to have been that.

Of course Sam would latch onto that. He always had a strong bond with his elder brother, but in light of what Lucifer had oh so conveniently show cased for him? Of course Sam would immediately go all in with Dean.

Lucifer smiles sardonically to himself. Well, he got what he wanted didn't he? Here is Sam in his face telling The Devil himself how its gonna be. Like he holds all the power. Bra-Fucking-Vo!

"I'm ready to die and I'm ready to watch the people I love die, I'm not ready to be your bitch."

Lucifer deserves that. He knows he utterly fucked up with how he treated Sam when he had said yes a life time ago. He also knows no if and or buts that there is nothing he can say nor do to change Sam's mind. 

The plain truth of the matter is they are all out of time to do this the right way. Good thing he's an expert at the wrong way.

"Okay" Lucifer sighs heavily, he'd rather it hadn't come to this. "Plan B."

The Arch Angel weaves a glimmer with his fingers around Sam and silences him with a finger on his lips before shooing him into a corner with his power. Winking Lucifer snaps his fingers and a bloodied illusion of Sam appears. The illusion cries out with Sam's voice from imaginary blows.

In record time Dean and his guardian angel come rushing down towards the faux cage. Dean is yelling out his partner in crime's bewildering catch phrase? Battle cry? Lucifer still doesn't get it.

"Hey Assbutt!" Lucifer turns to face them with a devious smile glad to be back on the comfortable ground of trickery and games.

"Dean. The uh. . .other one."

A snap and they are both in the cage.

"Welcome to the party." They face one another in silence for a moment. Castiel radiates the battered determination of the perpetual underdog while Dean's face is flushed with blood from the shot of adrenalin from the fight or flight. 

Lucifer is, of course, cool as ice and the illusion of Sam is cowering on the ground holding his bloody and torn lip playing up the victim card.

"Scared?" Lucifer asks knowingly.

"Not even a little." Looks like fight won out as it always does with the Winchesters. 

Castiel casually slides an angel blade out from inside his sleeve dropping it into his hand. He grips it tight and lifts it into a fighting stance.

"Ah no no. . .moments like this, its all about ambiance." Another of his trademark snaps and 'Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel' starts to play from out of thin air. Lucifer sways to the beat of the music and winks at Castiel, a fellow fallen angel.

Dean. Just. Stares.

He looks between The Devil grooving it out like a dad listening to an old record and Castiel's deadly serious 'all work no play' demeanor and wonders how the hell this is real life.

Castiel seems to take Dean's 'WTF' look as the cue to attack and lunges for Lucifer hoping to catch the Arch Angel off guard while he. . .appears to be dancing. Lucifer flows with lunge and redirects Castiel's momentum and twists it so he has the younger angel in a hold from behind.

"I can beat The Darkness. Me. Only me." Lucifer utters in a low pitch meant only for Castiel's ears while Dean is distracted with fake Sam.

"These two in the cell they don't know. A couple of apes cannot fathom her power. You know I'm right Castiel. You know it." 

Stubborn to a fault much like the humans he surrounds himself with Castiel struggles and breaks Lucifer's hold(he lets him) instead of listening to reason. 

Dean joins the fight and they all trade blows. They try, they really do but its obvious they are out classed and losing. Badly. Its not long before Lucifer has knocked them both to the ground where they lie bleeding from numerous love taps.

Lucifer can feel the tingle of Rowena's magic raise the hairs on the back on his neck. He's out of time. He leans over Castiel and makes the motions of readying up a blow as cover for a hushed plea.

"You remember The Darkness. What she is. What she will do to all of us, to all of creation. I don't like this any more than you do tall dark and grumpy, but we are fresh out of options and you know it. So what do ya have to say?"

"Can you really beat her?"

"I can." 

Castiel spares a moment to flick his eyes over to where Dean lies on the bottom of the cage then back to Lucifer with a renewed fire of determination lighting his eyes.

"Then yes."

Lucifer leans back, closes his eyes, and smiles as he transforms into pure white light coinciding with Rowena's spell perfectly to mask taking Castiel as a vessel. Lucifer drops the spells making the illusion and those binding Sam as if he were banished once more to the cage. 

Lucifer smiles privately to himself with Castiel's mouth as he watches Sam and Dean gravitate to one another guard dropped completely. They after all are safe with just Castiel here now aren't they? While not as ideal as having Sam, Castiel is a powerful vessel that will have to do.

He 'angel's them out of the mini cage and shuffles slowly with Sam and Dean at his side out of hell. Unknowingly, team free will just gained a new member who is raring to raise hell against The Darkness.

Oh yes, he can definitely work with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D-double post double double post!
> 
> Gonna be on hiatus for a couple of weeks to get ready for COMIC CON and finishing my cosplay so extra chapter to hold ya'll off. 
> 
> :D


	5. Regret and Just Carry On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers Winchester take a breather to talk about 
> 
>  
> 
> feelings
> 
> with the aid of beer of course.

"Alright Sam, spit it out." Dean takes a seat at the table placing a beer in front of his ever brooding brother. Dean knocks back a swig of his own beer wetting his throat. "You were distracted all through the last hunt - Yeah with that same face you're making now like someone pissed in your cheerios."

Sam raises an eyebrow at his brother's words but he can't deny it so he instead reaches for the beer in front of him and pops off the top on the side of the table. Sam takes a long pull from the bottle draining half of it in one go.

The bitter liquid settles down warm in his belly. He does it more for Dean's benefit than his own, all the years being raised by their 'man's man' father has left his elder brother unable to properly deal with any 'girly' emotions without the crutch of a beer in hand and the warmth of the alcohol spreading in his belly as a distraction.

"I know something has been eatin' at you since the whole shit show with Lucifer." Dean leads in opening the way for Sam to unload whatever fucked up shit must have gone down while he was locked away with Lucifer.

"Did you fight with Dad? Like really fight with him that night?"

Dean's head spins momentarily by the seemingly random question. He gapes like a fish for a moment while he processes the drive way off into the left field. He sips from his beer to wet his suddenly dry mouth. There is only one night Sam could be referring to with that uncomfortable kicked puppy look in his eyes. Neither one of them could ever forget the night that their whole family dynamic changed irreparably.

Dean clears his throat and looks off to the right of Sam so he doesn't have to meet those puppy eyes while talking about feelings.

"Yeah, yeah I did. You were really messed up Sammy, so you probably don't remember." Dean's throat bobs with a another necessary swallow of liquid warmth. "Yeah I knocked the old man out flat on his ass for what he did. For what I let him do to you. I'll never forgive myself for leaving you with the bastard on that night of all nights." Dean huffs out a breath and turns to meets Sam's eyes. "I was a coward and you got hurt for it, no two way about it Sammy. I failed you."

Sam sucks in a stuttering breath and his whole posture deflates on the exhale.

"God its true. Not the part about you failing me." Sam quickly clarifies before Dean, ever the martyr can latch onto anymore quilt than he already is carrying. "About the whole fight, I never remembered it. Never knew you stuck up for me, that you did the impossible and stood up against Dad and took my side." 

If Dean's eyes get suspiciously misty, neither of them would ever mention it. Sam picks at the label on the his bottle giving Dean a moment to recollect his precious mask of masculinity from the evil clutches of feelings once more.

"Thank you for that Dean, really. But that's not really what has been bothering me." Dean squares his shoulders back waiting for his brother to continue. 

"You know how Lucifer sent me visions from the cage? Well when we were in there he showed me things. Things that happened. To me. In the cage. From before." Sam's throat clenches on the words but manages to get them out.

"Sam. . ."

"No Dean, let me finish. He also showed me my past and how it has broken me. He showed me that night and how you stood up to Dad for me. All my life I never knew you did that for me. I thought. I thought all the things Dad said were true and you only took care of me out of obligation." Dean opens his mouth again but shuts it at Sam's raised hand.

"Lucifer. He was trying to help me. Yeah I know exactly how that sounds but its true. I forced myself to think he was doing it just to get me to say Yes, but that's not it. I know it. I can feel the truth of it in here." Sam places his hand against his chest.

"Sammy! He's The Devil! The Godfather of all lies and tricks!"

"That's not all he showed to me Dean. Our time in the Cage. . .he tried to protect me. I watched him suffer along with me. Helplessly he had to watch every torture inflicted upon me b-by a manifestation of the Cage. His eyes were a mirror of my pain. Regret and misery rolled off him in waves simply from watching me suffer. You just can't fake something that real."

Dean remained skeptical but silent much to Sam's surprise. Sam chugs the rest of his beer in one go before continuing.

"For whatever reason, I don't know whether it's part of God's plan from when he created me as his true vessel, or something from the ti  
me we shared my body or whatever, but its clear that he cares. For me. What I'm saying is I can't shake the feeling that saying no was a mistake, that we really needed his help for this. Come on man, she's capital G God's sister. We've fought against crazy powerful things. But her? That's on a whole other plane of bad."

Dean is quiet for a moment as he nurses his beer. There is no question that this is so far out of their league it ain't even funny. But Dean can't regret having Rowena slam Lucifer back in the cage where he belongs. Yeah they need his power, but at the cost of Sammy? Hell no. Having to watch Lucifer use Sam's hands to beat him half to death once was way more than enough. 

"Well, its done. No use worrying about it now, we just gotta move on like we always do." Sam clearly isn't happy with it but too bad. "We just gotta trust in us. In Cas. We're gonna hunt down these Hands of God and we're gonna gank the bitch with some God mojo. Maybe, you are right Sam, but what's done is done and we've always managed to save the day and this is no different." Dean can't even make himself believe the lie, but Sam nods in acceptance and they table it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp that was a long unplanned hiatus, my baaaaaaad. 
> 
> Good news is that I got a netbook again so I can just type these out in one go instead of having to write by HAND then type it up later. (I have 0 creativity when I sit at a computer desk lol)
> 
> Any whoooooo sorry for short chapter that had been 95% done MONTHS AGO uhg. Should get the next chapter up in a week or two, finally regaining energy from holiday/retail hell :D


	6. Just a Taste and Two Halves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer reveals himself to Sam after Sam unwittingly offers him something he desires while thinking he was Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. Have another chapter since I felt so bad about making y'all wait 3 months for a tiny update. :D

It was a beautiful plan, Lucifer thought to himself. He'd jump time with Dean, they'd snag the Hand of God and jump back out. In and out, 10 min adventure tops. It would have worked out great, he'd have enough juice to even the playing field between him and Amara and the Winchesters would be none the wiser about him being more powerful than Cas should be with the boost from the Hand.

Lucifer sighs and shakes his head sending water droplets flying. Should have known better, no plan works when the Winchesters are involved at any level. Lucifer, for once, doesn't have to fake being a moping angel as he sloshes down the stairs of the bunker leaving puddles in his wake.

"Cas? Why are you-wait a second where's Dean?" Sam asks quickly looking around for his brother as a sinking feeling sets in.

"We made the leap, he got on. I didn't." Lucifer isn't bitter, nope just lightly salted.

"What?!"

"I couldn't make it past the hull." Lucifer admits through clenched teeth. Castiel's vessel is no slouch but the limits of not being in his true vessel are beyond annoying. No amount of warding would have stopped him, but then again he wouldn't even need the hand in the first place if he but had Sam.

Lucifer stomps angrily to the table and slaps his soaked trench coat onto a chair with a wet plop. 

"Someone must have warded the ship."

"Delphine. It has to be, she's protecting the ship. The weapon right?" Lucifer says nothing as he toes off his water logged shoes. "Cas, just go back to the last port before she boarded, leave a message so Dean knows."

"Where?" Lucifer snaps "Where would Dean see it that the crew wouldn't? He's as likely to find the warding as any message I'd leave." Like he hasn't already thought of that, its frustrating being treated like the naive toddler of an angel he's inhabiting. 

"Then send me. You got Dean past the hull." Fucking. Sacrificial. Winchesters. Every damn time.

"Then what? We double down on what screwed us the first time?" Lucifer knows he's being out of character but can't control his annoyance. "You're really bringing your A game today."

Lucifer collapses down onto a chair in misery. "I can't believe I lost it. Him." Lucifer correctly quickly as the sharp look from Sam at his slip of tongue.

"Can't believe I lost Dean." His tone is embarrassingly fake, but he can't find the energy to even try right now. "Well it's up to him now to clear the warding."

"No, we can help." Sam turns quickly towards the bookshelves and doesn't catch Lucifer's eye roll. "There's gotta be something in magic or, or angel lore. Someway to clear the sigils from the outside." Lucifer rubs his hand over his face in frustration.

"Cas," Sam says with his heart in his eyes and voice full of earnest mistaking Lucifer's out of character actions for worry and guilt. "Don't worry, we'll bring him back." He drops an ancient tome on the table with an audible thunk and spins it around to Cas. 

Yaaaaay, home work that won't be of any use, just what I always wanted, Lucifer thinks to himself but opens it up anyway. Lucifer idly turns through pages with one hand while the other works at drying his hair with a towel Sam had tossed. He could will himself dry, but that would kinda go against the whole 'low juice' gig Cas has going on and he's been out of character enough as is.

Lucifer spends his time scoffing at the so called lore in front of him while Sam is pacing in the next room speed reading though books. He has to admire the fiery determination of his true vessel. Lucifer steals glances at Sam periodically and can see the change in how he holds himself, how confident he is that he will find a way to help his brother. Maybe Sam listened, really listened to what he had said inside the mini cage.

"Wait a second." Sam interrupts Lucifer's internal musings, "I think I have something. A spell of gathering. Its an incantation to focus the power of celestial beings, angels, against all drawn forms of evasion." Sam moves up behind and to Lucifer's left, their shoulders brushing, as he sets the book down for Lucifer to see. "The spell is designed to resit all mystical or occult blockages." 

Sam takes the seat next to Lucifer body angled towards his angelic friend. "I mean this is all highly theoretical magic, its never been used before but it sounds like it could work." Lucifer tears his eyes away from his amazing vessel who despite all odds may have found something useful that even he doesn't know about.

"We have the ingredients?" He asks softly. Sam quickly scans the text then leans back with a sigh.

"All but one." Sam rolls his eyes towards the ungrateful heavens. "That's why its never been used before, it requires the power of an arch angel." He flips the book shut and covers his face with his hands as his previous excitement morphs into frustration.

"Well Sam, we might as well try."

"We don't have time for long shots Cas. Even at full power you're not strong enough." Sam avoids meeting his friend's eyes as he says it but Lucifer can still see the tale tale gleam of unshed tears in Sam's eyes. Lucifer watches sadly as Sam all but flees the room with his hopes dashed. Once Lucifer hears the door of Sam's room shut he makes a grab for the book and flips it back open.

He makes quick work of gathering all the ingredients and getting the spell ready when Sam re-emerges from his room and takes in the scene.

"Cas what is that?" He asks in a soft voice.

"Its your spell of gathering."

"You nutts? You're not strong enough Cas, you could get hurt." Touching but wrong.

"You got a better option?" Lucifer inquires as he grinds up ingredients using amortar and pestle.

"No, but without a serious boost to your angel power that spell won't even work." He argues back.

"My strength may surprise you." Lucifer dead pans but Sam isn't in on the joke. Pity. Sam stands there for a few seconds watching Lucifer work before he holds up a finger and begins pacing back and forth besides Lucifer.

"Wait a second. I remember Bobby told me that when you needed strength to retrieve us from the past you used him to power up. You touched his soul right?" Lucifer quickly skims Cas's memories to answer Sam.

"That's right I did that. But, but that procedure can be fatal." Sam holds his breath steeling himself.

"Use my soul, that way maybe you'll have enough power to wield the spell." Sam cannot know what he is offering, what it entails. 

"That isn't necessary." But that doesn't mean Lucifer doesn't want to.

"Its worth the risk. Cas, Dean needs our help. I trust you." Those three words twist like a knife in Lucifer's black heart. The words he wants more than anything from the one person he actually gives two shits about. But not like this. Those words aren't for him, they are for the undeserving Castiel. 

A bitter painful laugh tears out of Lucifer's throat. The irony of getting what he wants but it being worthless is not lost on him. Its the Cage all over again, toying with him. The laugh becomes more unbalanced as the cruelty of fate weighs down on the Fallen angel. 

"What?" Concern radiates from Sam at seeing his friend act so strangely.

"Its just that, I've wanted, needed to hear those words for so long now and now that I hear them. They aren't mine." Lucifer drops the charade of Castiel's chain smoker's voice as he loses control of his ever present rage. "Here you are offering to let me touch your soul, the most intimate of acts, but you aren't offering it to ME. You are offering it to THIS piss ant of an angel, who I'll let you know has killed far more of his own kind than anyone in existence. But no, he's more deserving than me." 

Lucifer can see the moment Sam realizes who he must be but before Sam can run away Lucifer grabs him by the shoulders and not so gently pins him against a support pillar with one arm. 

"Just because you asked so nicely I will touch your soul and store the power for my much anticipated show down with Amara, then use your spell to blast through the warding to retrieve Dean for you. I'll just have to keep the Hand of God for myself since someone, I won't name names, but someone couldn't say a simple three letter word and save us all this effort."

"Lucifer" His name slips out of Sam's lips unbidden.

"In the flesh." He jokes as he strokes his hand down Sam's chest over his soul. "You know if you offered this to the real Cas and he did it? He probably would have killed you, he's a kid you see? He'd probably push in right here." Lucifer twirls a finger over Sam's sternum. "I mean it would work but it would be painful, oh so painful. Do you know why Sam?"

Sam shakes his head, either in fear or in answer. Lucifer finds he is angry enough to not care either way.

"A soul is a very special thing that is protected by Dad Almighty himself so if someone wants to take that power he'd have to," Lucifer pauses to lick his lips, "force his way through the divine protection." Sam jerks at the implication. "Lucky for us, there is another way. So don't you worry your pretty head." Lucifer gives said pretty had a soft pat earning a withering glare that warms his cold heart.

"I'll never hurt you." Lucifer says in the same sincere tone as the first time when he came to him in a dream. "I made that promise and nothing in all of creation could make me break it." Sam has to look away from the intensity of the eyes boring into him, probably all the way to his soul. 

"Lucky for us there is a loop hole we can exploit. You see when Daddy-O created a vessel for the first time. Yes, yes it was you by the way, feel special. He connected each true vessel with their angel. What a romantic sap I know." Lucifer sighs, "I wish our first time could be different, but I really need that boost for Amara. I won't let her win, I can't let you get hurt."

Lucifer casts a quick glance down at himself them flicks his fingers and the illusion of his Nick form covers Castiel. Lucifer will be damned(heh) if he does this as anyone but himself. He figures he's owed that much at least. Plus the thought of Castiel and Sam. No. Just no.

"Just relax this won't hurt even a little bit, in fact just the opposite. We were made for each other, two broken halves of a whole, but when I touch your soul for a brief moment you'll get a glimpse of what we were always meant to be. What I someday wish you will let us be." Sam, of course, put on his defiant pants today so instead of relaxing he just directs a death glare at Lucifer.

Lucifer takes Sam's free hand in his own and holds it against where his grace resides and steps in bringing himself flush with Sam. Their hands are entwined(one trapped unwillingly much to Lucifer's regret) and against both Lucifer's grace and Sam's soul. Sam's pulse sky rockets with a burst of adrenaline at having Lucifer's body pressed against his. 

The fallen angel rests his head against Sam's and takes in a long shuddering breath. Writing this moment into his very being for all time for it is the first and maybe the only chance he'll ever get to feel this if his luck stays the same. He'll have to make it count. Lucifer reopens his eyes and gazes into Sam's. His vessel, his true and perfect vessel. Mine. He pours all the things he cannot say, all his regrets, hopes, and desire into one long look. He can only hope Sam understands he's doing this for him, that he doesn't take lightly this action. This treasured gift that he's stealing on a loophole of dubious consent.

Sam stares back until he can't take all the things he sees in the angel's eyes. He closes his eyes against all that he can't think about. Won't think about. Lucifer takes that as his cue to close his own and lean in. Lucifer's parted lips brush against Sam's until the younger man can no longer hold out and opens for a breath. 

Lips press together capturing Sam's breath in his mouth. They share a warm breath of air between them as Lucifer allows himself a moment to relish the simple innocence of the contact . Bright pure white light flares up around them as Lucifer looses a wispy tendril of grace from his throat into Sam. His grace seeks out Sam's soul and answering azure light sparks up from around Sam as his soul answers back without hesitation. 

All the pain, the mistakes and suffering between them is nothing against the purity of their connection. His soul knows Lucifer as Lucifer knows him, truly and completely. Two halves of a whole yearning to be complete, his soul acquiesces opening up to let Lucifer's grace inside. The light around them both grows in intensity that would blind any mortal that would look upon them.

A primal whine builds up inside Sam as he feels Lucifer flow into him, gliding across all the jagged wounds in his soul and slotting perfectly against them with his own jagged edges smoothing them both over. All the things he had never before knew he was even missing, or were broken are suddenly whole.

Its Right. Perfect. True. Sam can feel it true to his soul. Unconsciously he practically melts against Lucifer in a desperate need to be closer. He no longer strains against Lucifer instead he finds his free arm wrapped tightly around the angel just as the angel's is around him. Just as quickly as the light came it fades away as Lucifer pulls back his grace with regret that Sam mirrors in his soul. 

Sam opens his eyes when Lucifer pulls back breaking their not-kiss. Sam watches a wisp of light flow between their parted lips into Lucifer and knows its the barest breath of energy from his soul. He knows its not enough to cause him harm, and he knows it because he knows what Lucifer knows. Everything the angel thought and felt while they were connected Sam knows, because they were one. He would need years to process all that he felt, that he saw, and learned from just a few moments of connection.

What he does know beyond all doubt now is that they truly are made for one another, and that all the promises Lucifer has made him were true. He feels wetness on his cheeks and realizes he's crying from the joy of knowing that he has someone who knows all of him and still wants him. Lucifer reopens his eyes and looks at Sam his expression full of melancholy and tenderness sending a fresh stream of tears falling free. 

Lucifer uses his free hand to wipe away the tears before pulling Sam against him placing a gentle kiss to his forehead before tucking the younger man's head against his chest. Overwhelmed Sam's knees give out from under him, Lucifer supports his weight as if were nothing and gently lowers Sam until they are both kneeling on the ground. 

Lucifer squeezes Sam's hand entwined with his own before letting go and leaning Sam back against the pillar. Completely drained his vessel allows his angel to position him like a doll against the pillar in a way that he won't fall over without his support. Lucifer lifts Sam's chin with a finger so their eyes meet once more. 

"I'm sorry." For Everything goes unsaid but understood. Sam can't will his body to speak, and even if he could, what would he even say? He literally cannot even begin to process how he can even process all of that. Its not everyday you find out soul mates are real and yours is freaking Satan. What the fuck Chuck.

"I'll go get Dean and the hand now." Lucifer's words bring Sam out of himself. For a moment there he had forgotten Dean, Amara, The end of everything. Sam blinks rapidly trying to get a hold of himself. Crazy ass day? Hell yes, but he's still a damn Winchester and he's got a job to do. World ain't gonna save itself. He needs bring his focus back on the bigger picture. Too bad his body didn't get the memo and refuses to do anything more than lie there.

The shimmer of illusion fades off revealing Cas once more. Lucifer shrugs in apology once before he finishes the spell and snaps his fingers disappearing in a flash of light. Sam stares at the absence where Lucifer was standing for only a few moments before he reappears with Dean in hand. Relief burst through his chest at the sight of his brother unharmed and its like the last strings of tension holding him up are cut and his head falls back against the pillar bonelessly. 

"Sam!" Dean sees his brother laying out as if drugged and turns a questioning look to Cas. "What happened?" He demands but Cas just shrugs and pushes him towards his brother while snatching the Hand of God from Dean's hands.

"Take care of him, I didn't hurt him. I could never do that." Cas doesn't sound right, something about him is off in a creeping bad way Dean decides. "As much as it pains me to compliment you Dean, you are a good brother. I'm trusting you to watch over him and keep him from doing anything your family does best like, I don't know, sacrificing themselves in stupid and creative ways to save one another." Castiel's eyes flare a tale tale red as he grasps the Hand of God but the artifact merely crumbles to dust. 

Lucifer lets out a roar of frustration at all that work being wasted. A dud. A fucking dud. Lucifer flicks his eyes over to where Dean is crouched protectively in front of Sam and blows out a breath forcing his rage back into its leash. Sam doesn't need his temper tantrum right now. He's got more than enough on his plate. Its fine he'll just have to do all the work to find another source of Power. Its fine, no really just peachy. 

"Right, okay well its been fun you two but I really gotta get going. Got places to be, power to steal. You know how it is." Lucifer announces flippantly before winking at Sam, making the call me sign with his thumb and pinky finger and disappearing with a flash.


	7. The Morning Star and The Deciver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam contemplates all he learned from his brief connection to the arch angel and what it means for the future.

Sam is non verbal for 10 minutes while Dean fussed about him having to communicate first with blinks then tiny nods and shakes of his head. Blink blink: No I'm not hurt. Blink: Yes that was Lucifer. Embarrassing in the extreme, but after another 10 minutes he is finally able to speak in short few word spurts. So strange having to rewrite his brain back to speaking after a timeless eternity(that was only a few seconds in reality) spent just knowing things. He didn't ask, didn't think he simply knew. 

Eventually he is able to convince his brother to help him to his room to sleep it off. That's what he tells Dean he'll do anyway, really there is no way in hell Sam will be able to sleep with so much raw data from his experience to go over. Sam makes a show of getting comfortable in bed then makes a shooing motion to get his mother hen to give him some space. Dean lingers in the doorway for a moment not wanting to leave Sam alone but after a drawn out moment he leaves, probably to get hammered after the day he's had.

Sam lies in bed and closes his eyes so he can tune out the world and focus inward to process. The first feeling that comes is warmth, he feels at peace, safe, protected, and cherished above all else. At no point did he feel fear once Lucifer touched his soul, it never felt wrong. In fact it felt more right than anything Sam has ever felt. Sam doesn't know how to feel about that. A part of him, a tiny spec of him, screams that it was all a trick from the lord of lies. A last ditch play to get to Sam and convince him to say Yes again.

That part that sounds suspiciously like Dean could not be more wrong. Sam's soul sings the truth of it in a joyous melody that yearns for its missing half even now. Sam rubs his chest over where his soul resides within him in an attempt to sooth an ache he has always felt but never understood until today.He releases a soft exhale of laughter at that. All his life he felt like he was missing something, that he needed something and it burned him up from the inside leaving him dissatisfied and on the outside of everything he did. He mistook that yearning for more as a need to leave hunting, so he went to school but still felt it there. He found a brief reprieve with Jess, he truly loved her and misses her to this day. He did his best to ignore it, but the feeling of emptiness stayed through out their relationship. 

Yeah no, Sam ain't ready to deal with that level of bullshit right now so he pushes those thoughts aside for another time(how about never?) and moves on to the next thought to float to the top of an impressively long list of things happened in a few seconds but was an eternity to his soul.

It was like being a raindrop hitting the ocean and suddenly becoming one with the ocean that was Lucifer. His tiny human soul with limited experiences, understandings of existence and time suddenly merged with a being that has existed for millennia on multiple dimensions. Overwhelmed would be the grossest of understatements. Though the connection was brief in reality, Sam experienced time as Lucifer does. Time isn't a straight line for a being that exists on multiple dimensions, it twists and turns. Nor is time set in stone, it is a malleable thing to a celestial with Lucifer's powers. 

It was the first connection of their beings but it felt as if they had never been apart. The time before they joined had become meaningless. It was like waking up in a cold sweat from a bad dream and being soothed by a lovers warm embrace. Before he had lived inside a waking nightmare of knowing he would always be misunderstood by everyone, never once accepted unconditionally by another because of his job, his dark destiny, his empathy or the desperate need to find the good in even the darkest of the so called monster because deep down he knew he was one. 

It all made sense once he touched his dark mirror in Lucifer. He always strove to find the good in the darkest of hearts because he just so happened to share a heart with the biggest of baddies on another plane of existence. Dean always called him a bleeding heart for lost causes and he was right. He was probably made by good 'ol Chuck with the biggest bleeding heart in all of existence in order to be able to find the good in The Devil, Satan, Father of Lies, The Adversary, The Angel of the Abyss.

The Morning Star. His soul offers up with the image of Lucifer burning brighter than a thousand suns in all his glory before his slow fall into darkness. Sam remembers/knows now first hand that Lucifer began as one of the most beautiful and good creatures God created. He remembers how God/Father had looked down upon Lucifer eyes over filled with pride and love for his son. Lucifer had preened under the attention, bright wings spread out to the stars basking in the love of his creator and knowing he was the favorite above all others.

Then came humanity, flawed creatures lacking the beauty and perfection of the angels, but they had his father's love. The glowing look of pride that once was only for Lucifer was instead directed upon these tiny creatures that Lucifer found far inferior to himself. Jealousy had taken a hold of his heart, the first seed of darkness within growing, as he lost his position as the favorite. And thus began his fall from grace.

Sam stops and ponders the duality of Lucifer for a moment. Once he was the morning light, a beacon of all that is good and right, could he truly redeem himself? He had eons of time being on the side of light and only a few millennia of being a force of darkness, surely that much mean something. 

Yes, Sam believes Lucifer could be good once again, he's already been making baby steps in the right direction but does the angel truly desire to rejoin the light? All his actions thus far have been neutral, not really good but at least not evil. Another point is that all those actions centered around Sam. Sam is the exception for everything to Lucifer so the facts are muddled on whether Lucifer is making these changes for Sam or if he is doing it for himself. Sam is too close to the problem to see it.

Despite this, he has hope for the fallen angel, he has to. Sam too has been tainted by darkness, seduced by its promises and made to do unspeakable things to those he loves. . .and yet he came back from it. He stopped once his eyes were opened to just how far off the deep he had gone, but he didn't stop alone. Sam could never have come back from that if it weren't for his pain in the ass older brother dragging him kicking and screaming all the way. All this time Lucifer has had no one in his corner. Discared and locked away instead of helped.

That's the crux of it isn't it? Lucifer, even if he truly wished to, would be incapable of changing without assistance. Assistance is something he has not known for so long its doubtful his pride will allow a mere mortal to boss his ass around until he learns to behave, but if any mortal could it would have to be his unique, super special, and one of a kind true vessel. 

Yaaaaaaay. Go me.

Sam scrubs his hands across his face and blinks his eyes open disrupting his spiraling thoughts. He needs to get his thoughts and facts in order so he can work on a game plan for how their dynamic has/will/can change for the better in terms with ganking Amara and not doing the sequel to the Apocalypse: Satan Strikes Back. 

Sam props himself upright against the headboard and reaches into his night stand. He feels around with his fingers until they close on his notepad and pen. He sets in down in his lap and begins making a list to order his thoughts.

Holy Shit the Soul bond is real.  
Lucifer could not lie while they were connected.  
I felt no desire on Lucifer's end for restarting the Apocalypse, nor a rampage of destruction.  
Lucifer has kept all his promises.  
Lucifer was once good.  
Lucifer was actively working to gain power to fight against Amara despite us trying to throw him back in the cage without seeking vengeance upon us for it.  
He could become good again but only with MY help.

Sam blows out a breath and reads through what he wrote and the picture is clear, Save the Devil, Save the world. Fuck. No pressure, just you know the fate of all humanity resting on his broad shoulders. God, Dean said he was the patron of lost causes, now he's gonna have to put work in to prove it.

Shit. Dean.

How the fuck do I convince Dean we need to save the Devil from himself?!!!!!!!!!!! 

Sam stares at the paper despondently for a time before coming to the realization he'll have to explain how deep his connection runs with arch angel. 

What am I to him? A vessel, his prize, or the lone worth while human? His destined companion? God's last gift to him?  
What is he to me? What do I want him to be?

His soul pulls at his chest with longing for its match, but Sam has reservations. Lots of them. Good reservations for trusting the trickster. And yet, he finds that he does. Sam really hates being torn between what his mind tells him and his soul. It feels like destiny is trying to force him one way without having his consent. Winchesters, as a rule, never bow before fate and Sam is no exception. He had fought valiantly against the pull to say yes before but destiny was stronger than his will.

Sam won't bow down like that again. His so called destiny with Lucifer will have to wait until the day he can give his full unconditional consent. He won't be pushed into anything again, it will only happen if he wants it. His soul be damned, he doesn't really know the angel, but he find the prospect of learning less daunting than he should. 

That day is a long way off, but it doesn't mean Sam won't do his best to try for a tentative peace, an alliance against a greater foe. Sam slides back down on the bed with a sigh. Now just to convince Dean to play ball. That's going to be a fun conversation, he'd almost rather deal with the Devil than his over protective brother. Sooner than he thought possible his thoughts putter out as he gradually falls into a deep and peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna slam this story out as fast as I can while my muse is interested. Sorry about errors and probably bad writing barely editing before posting and I find I don't give a fook. :D 
> 
> Maybe once the whole story is out(frick I still got a loooong way to go) I'll go through it and polish it....but don't hold your breath. 
> 
> Happy New Year peeps if I don't post again by that time. ^___^


	8. Acceptance and The Miscalculation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean have a chat then Lucifer learns a life lesson.

"So let me get this straight," Dean says after Sam finishes fumbling through a cliff notes of the shit that went down with Lucifer. "You're like what? Soul Mates, even though he doesn't have a soul? And with this 'mystical' bond you share you some how know Lucifer isn't really a bad guy at heart?" Sarcasm levels reaching levels previously not thought possible. 

"Come on Sammy! You aren't young or gullible enough for that kind of fairy tale bullshit. Life is messy, dirty and fucked up." Dean takes another shot of whiskey slapping the glass down loudly against the table. "God you really are a girl. Going for a bad boy and thinking 'oh I can change him' Jesus Christ man. Its not even funny how bad you got it for trying to see the good WHERE NONE EXISTS!"

"You're right Dean. No really you are. Yeah the world is fucked up, how could it be good when I'M FUCKING BONDED TO THE DEVIL?! You can't get more fucked up than that. This level of cosmic irony is totally up our ally with our shit ass luck and you know it. You're just gonna have to accept it as fact." Sam fires back and downs a shot to match Dean.

"Chuck is an asshole." Dean scrubs his hand down his face. "That is totally something he'd do with his shitty writing of fate for some laughs. Winchesters, the butt end of every joke since the dawn of time apparently. Alright fine Sam, we'll say its true. Cool. I seem I to remember him beating my ass half to death the last time he was out. Sure maybe you mean something to him but he almost killed me, if you hadn't wrestled control back I'd have been done."

"I, I didn't win back control then." Sam admits, "He let me, he gave up control. I never corrected you because I was ashamed that when it was your life on the line I failed and you would have died. Should have died if Lucifer was as bad as we both thought."

Dean raises his eyebrows in the universal sign of 'keep talking 'til you make sense'. 

"Okay so when he w-was hitting you I tried fighting, I struggled to win control but it didn't work. It never worked he is too strong, but then I saw the little green army man that was stashed in the side door of the car and the memory of playing with them hit me. When we were kids, back before shit got really fucked up we played together with them and its one of the best memories I have of growing up." The fact that its one of the very few good memories goes unsaid.

"Lucifer latched on to the memory, longing rolling off in waves. He then began watching our good memories like it was a touching Disney movie with metaphorical misty eyes. He got emotional and his control slipped, but not over me, my body, but himself. I was able to see what he was thinking about, he was remembering good times with Gabriel but then quickly flashed to him killing his own brother." 

Sam stops for a moment collecting himself to finish, the not-memory was so vivid it felt like he had killed Dean.

"He felt remorse, regret, and pain with what he had done. Those aren't feelings of someone who is evil to their core. I felt him look inside at me as I struggled to keep him from killing you with my hands and, and he just let go. He knew what I planned to do and he let it happen. He chose to go back to the worst that hell has to offer, an eternity of torment rather than to hurt me. He couldn't go through seeing brothers torn apart like that again. 

"So yeah Dean, I trust him not to double cross us. If he was unwilling to do it then when he had everything to gain why the hell would he do it now? Especially after. After he uh, touched my soul. You don't know what it was like Dean, we sorta became one for a time. There was no separation of 'him' and 'me'. There is no way in hell he could kill you now. He has to know it would feel the same as Gabriel. So no, I'm pretty damn sure he'll play nice with both of us. In some weird messed up way we're all he's got."

"One, that's sad." Dean says holding up a finger, "Two, gross. Three, fine okay we both got a pass, but what about average Joe on the street? Its a big risk for the world Sammy. You ain't told me shit yet to think its worth the risk. Man you gotta do better than that."

"We need him." Sam states simply, "We don't stand a chance against her power without him and you know it. Let's just look at the facts, he's out despite our best efforts and he didn't strike back us with every opportunity piggy backing on Cas. We wouldn't have seen it coming, instead he works WITH us to get more power to fight her. That's gotta mean something."

"Yeah means he's afraid of her too and doesn't want to die either. Great, gold star, a shinny freaking example of virtue looking out for his own ass." Sam rolls his eyes at his brother's refusal to give Lucifer any credit. Not that he expected him to though.

"Alright so sure he's got a stake in this, but damn it Dean! You can't expect him to flip a 180 like that. Shit, he spent millennia alone stewing in hatred. Its gonna take time for him to come back, but I saw a spark of light in him." Sam argues passionately, "You remember how it took me time to come back after all the demon blood shit with Ruby. It was so hard to let go of my hate and anger, but I had you there for me to keep me on the right track. To pick me back up when I slipped off, and I couldn't have done it without you.

"If we don't help Lucifer, or if you don't let me help him he'll just slide back into the easy path of being a monster. BUT if we can guide him, slowly but surely he'll be able to be good again. Even if you don't believe me you gotta know I have to try. What would it hurt trying to fix him instead of lock him away until the next fucked up thing comes our way and lets him out again. We can't just ignore this problem, we can't kill him and his c-cage is weakened and won't hold forever." 

"So what we play babysitter to the Devil while Amara destroys the world? We don't got time to get him light side and you know it."

"Yes, that's why we just work together now against the common enemy but we gotta show some goodwill. Maybe not trap him with holy fire the next second we see him? I don't know man, but we can't keep being hostile when he's playing nice. Its our foot in the door to prevent another war with Lucifer once Amara is toast. I don't know about you but if I could do something to prevent another apocalypse I'd do it. Its worth the risk."

Dean pours himself another shot, pounds it back then pours another. He stares into its amber waters for a time before downing that one too. His expression is resigned ans so Sam knows that he's won for now anyway.

"Fuck I can't believe we're gonna be working with the freaking Devil. Crowley is gonna hate this, we'll still need the horn since the last hand of God is done. Really thought Crowley was the bottom of the barrel, but we keep on scrapin'." Dean twirls his empty glass watching the world distorting behind its glass. "I don't like this, it feels like we are sliding closer and closer to the dark side with each concession. When will the argument of bad choices for the greater good push us over the edge 'til we're the monsters we hunt?"

Sam is silent letting Dean have a moment with his own inner demons. They both have succumbed to darkness, him with demon blood and Dean with the Mark. Both decisions were brought on by desperation to save someone, save each other, and to keep on fighting the good fight no matter the cost. It weighs heavily on the brother's hearts.

"It'll be okay Dean, we always have each other. Every time shit's gone south we've pulled each other out of it. This is no different. I trust you to have my back. You always watch out for me, and I know you won't let Lucifer twist me. You'll be with me every step of the way, no secrets." Sam gets up and clasps his hand on his brother's shoulder giving it a quick squeeze before removing it. Sam wishes he could hug his brother, but he knows confessions and hugs ain't his jam. 

 

 

As expected Crowley does not take the news well at all. Words are exchanged, compromises are made. As much as Sam would like to invite Lucifer back with empty hands raised in good faith Crowley is having none of that. Insurance, the demon king sneers in case their hair brained plan fails and Lucifer turns on them. Crowley has the horn so he has all the chips to bargain with so they set up a trap with holy fire to keep Lucifer contained while they talk.

Dean bites out the words to the summoning incantation accentuated with long suffering pauses between the words. A crack of thunder and flash of lighting at the end of his incantation send Rowena scurrying out of sight like the rat she is. In the next second Lucifer wearing Cas's skin is standing with his back to them in the circle.

"Sam now!" Dean yells, Sam lights the matches and set the ring of holy oil ablaze.

Lucifer turns around and catches Sam's eyes with his own. A playful light twinkles in his eyes as he looks to his Vessel calling him back so soon. Sam returns the gaze with a slightly apologetic look but his mouth is determined. Lucifer casts his gaze around settling on Dean and smirking at his challenging look. 

"I'm sorry but your prayer implied that I'd be joining the team but I'm just not feeling the warm and fuzzies here." Dean glares, Sam looks over at his brother with an annoyed 'I told you so' expression and Crowley is trying to blend into the bench he is on in hopes Lucifer won't see him(he does). Lucifer's gaze finally settles onto the horn in between Sam and Dean.

"Wow, there it is. Powered up by Dad himself." He says in a mock reverent whisper. "That bad boy plus me aught to take her out alright. Let's get to it!" He says excitedly rubbing his hands together in anticipation. He is met with silence at stares. "Douse the flames?" The silence is deafening in the decaying church.

"Or don't." Dean stares him down with grim determination. He cuts his palm and slams it into a blood written spell on the wall activating the trap. Magical runes light up in fiery red underneath Lucifer. Ah, clever, a truth spell. Lucifer shrugs in begrudging respect, its a simple spell but its air tight. Smart move Winchesters.

"I wanna talk to Cas." 

Lucifer studies Dean's face for a moment then comes to a conclusion.

"Oh, I see you're worried I tricked my way into this grim too serious bod? Don't worry the Devil is all about consent baby. I'd never force anyone, where would be the fun in that?" Dean's eyes are murderous. "Okay, okay cool your jets momma bear. I know how you two miss your angels." His words are positively dripping with innuendo and he adds a wink at Sam who blushes lightly on the tips of his ears. Still got it.

Lucifer's head rolls forward and his posture goes lax for a second until his eyes reopen but its no longer Lucifer in the driver's seat. Castiel looks up dazed and confused his eyes searching out for Dean first on instinct.

"Dean?" Relief is palatable in the room.

"Cas!"

"What are you doing? What's going on?" 

"Listen to me we ain't got a whole lot of time and I need to know." The confusion in Castiel's eyes is slowly receding.

"Know what?"

Did you. Did you say yes?" Castiel nods in a minuscule motion eyes dropping to Dean's cheek unwilling to meet his eyes. "Damn it Cas! You let the freaking Devil in? How could you do that? Rowena was about to lock in him and throw away the key.

"How could you do that to us. To me." Castiel raises his eyes full of apology to meet the hurt in Deans finally. 

"I'm sorry Dean. We have no choice. We need him." The angel's eye alight with the familiar spark of determination that Dean has grown fond of and missed dearly while he's been gone. "It was the right choice, I don't regret it."

Dean stings from the betrayal but Cas is right. Bad decision or not it was the only move left open for them. Doesn't mean he's gotta like it though. "Alright, you're right. I know you are but that was a real dick move not warning us man. You let me chum it up with Lucifer for crying out loud. Yuck." 

Castiel's lips upturn slightly as Dean's joking olive branch then his head slumps forward and he's back in the passenger seat.

"See? He's okay with it, I'm okay with it we're all good here. No ulterior motives, no hidden surprises just two people hanging out having a good time trying to prevent the end of everything. So how about it boys? Do I pass? I'm ready to join team Not Dying!" Lucifer claps his hands and looks meaningfully at the ring of holy fire. 

"How about a little assurance?" Crowley pipes up from where he is half hiding behind the Winchester brothers like the brave king of hell that he is. "I need you to promise now under the spell that you will not harm us, there will be no payback once the deed is done." 

Hmm seems like the pretender king's spine grew back faster than Lucifer thought it would since he crushed it under his heel. Pity, he rather liked the joy of owning a dog.

"Fine, fine. I promise I will not hurt or betray you once I blast Amara away. Happy?" Crowley squirms under Lucifer's stare. "I won't go back into the cage, but I won't start the apocalypse up again, that was so 4 years ago anyway. I leave you alone, you leave me alone. I have no interest in hell or the frankly disgusting roaches that inhabit it. So how about it? Allies?"

The clear terms of the agreement settle the old crossroad king's sensibilities so he gives a nod to Dean.

"I already regret this." Dean states but motions for Sam to douse the flames anyway. Desperate times...

The fire abates and the room holds its collective breath as Lucifer takes a step out of the circle. Lucifer rolls his shoulders and stretches his arms out wide. He smiles just for Sam, eyes twinkling. 

"So do we get team T-shirts? What kind of perks come with joining the affirmative action hero team?" He gives Sam a sultry look. "Do I finally get an invite to slumber parties?"

"You ain't part of our team, you're just the muscle." Dean growls unappreciative of Lucifer's vast charm. "As soon as she's toast there is no us. You give me back Cas then get lost." Lucifer isn't even fazed by the warm welcome. He's long been used to being hated, unwanted, tainted, its second nature to him. He never let himself hope that he'd be accepted with warm arms, he may have many titles but a fool is not one of them.

Lucifer laughs pleasantly surprised by the never ending backbone of the Winchesters. "Oh stop it you, you're making me blush with all these gooey feelings." Sam gives Dean a look for going off script. He should have known something was up when Dean agreed so easily.

"So you're sure its enough with the horn to defeat Amara?" Sam speaks up for the first time drawing Lucifer's gaze back to him. The gaze turns up a few degrees and Sam is already reconsidering how wise it was to do all this. Lucifer is so wild you never know what he's going to throw at you at any given minute.

"Are you offering another little...boost?" Sam gapes slightly at that. "I kid, I kid, no I'm certain the stored God juice in this baby will do the trick. I should know, I've defeated her before." 

Lucifer pulls the horn to his hand with a thought. He rolls it in his hand sensing the immense power inside. "Oh yes this will do nicely, finally daddy o does something useful for a change."

A crackle of thunder preempts the explosion of the church wall blowing inward with a crash. Lucifer turns to the opening and he can sense her. The Darkness casually walks through the gaping hole she just blew through the church. Lucifer smiles gunning for the show down horn in hand. 

Lucifer mirrors her movements keeping himself in between her and his vessel. His grin turns feral ready to fight to the end right now to protect his charge.

"Oh Lucifer, dear nephew. My, how you've changed." She taunts face twisted in distaste. She looks over to Dean for a moment with a soft face before speaking again. "I was tracking her when she left my side." They all turn to look where Rowena hiding their faces save Lucifer's are full of surprise at the betrayal. Lucifer smelled a devious backstabbing wench on her when they first met and thinks about how he'll enjoy killing her again. She hid when he made his promise under the spell so little loop hole she doesn't have a get out of jail free card like the rest.

"You were safely sealed away, you'll wish you'd stayed there." Lucifer laments dramatically with a confident tone. It never even occurs to him that he could lose. He pulls out the power from the horn and holy light radiates from his body. Cracks of pure divine power grow up from his chest and into his eyes and they light up with God's power. Lucifer focuses the energy into his out stretched palm and expels it in a beam straight into her center of mass. 

The beam engulfs her in holy fire that burns so bright the humans have to turn away. It becomes brighter and more intense as the arch angel's power joins with his father's shaking the room. The glow on Lucifer's skin slowly fades and his eyes return to blue as he runs empty. Shadows fill the room as the holy fire is extinguished without a source left to fuel it.

She's still standing. Seemingly unhurt, not even fazed by the combined power of an arch angel and the horn. His brow furrows in confusion, it should have worked! So much raw power focused with her defenses down, no one should be alive after taking a hit like that. He's looking at the used up husk of the horn in dismay when Amara raises her hand and he feels a lasso of power surround him. 

She pulls him towards her until he is but a foot away. She raises her hands to cup his face. Her gentle touch is a mockery of care for her eyes are cold and unforgiving.

"I think you and I need a nice long chat." Dean is the first to shake off the horror and shock at Lucifer's sounding defeat.

"Cas?" Her gaze falls to him and softens. She cares for him, but why? What is he to her? Lucifer cannot even guess as to how the older Winchester even shows up on her radar. The moment is broken when she turns back to Lucifer and they both disappear in a blinding light.


	9. Pay Back and A Glimmer of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amara vents her frustrations on her nephew and hatches a plan to force her brother to come out of hiding.

The next thing Lucifer feels is his back slamming against an abandoned train car hard enough to send a trickle of blood from between his lips. This is going to be fun he thinks sarcastically to himself. He raises his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay." He pants out of breath from the blow. "Look, I know you have a major beef with me. You probably want to finish me, but you may want to rethink your position." Lucifer's mind whirls at great speeds to find a way to survive this. The odds are not in his favor, but he's always been a gambling man so he throws his dice. "I could actually be of use to you." He lies.

"Really?" The sarcasm is strong with this one, Lucifer is going to have to try harder.

"You hadn't considered, we both have an ax to grind with God." She tilts her head in acknowledgement of that irrefutable fact. "I know his soft spots. He can't handle us both." Lucifer is a master lie smith, the trick is to blend pieces of truth in the mix so the lies are easier to swallow.

"Do you think for one moment that I would actually consider trusting you for anything?" Lucifer gives her a shit eating smile, that's fair. I mean his deception was the first in all creation. A proud moment for him, where he earned a new title. "I did trust you once. You and my brother conspired to seal me away, for eons." She states taking a few steps closer to the weakened angel.

"But you're right, you might be of some use to me." Lucifer doesn't like the weird tone to her voice, but he's clutching at straws here.

"Alright." He takes a tiny step forward and forces his posture to be more relaxed. "Good now we're talking." 

The Mistress of Darkness raises her hand sending him slamming back into the freight car. "As God's favorite, his first son, you may be the one thing in all of creation that he still cares about. The one thing that could finally make him show himself so that I can confront him and he can acknowledge the wrongs he's done me." She slowly advances towards the held angel until their faces are close enough he can feel her cold breath against his lips.

"The he can witness the utter destruction of all his creation before he himself is swept away." She whispers lovingly before turning and walking a few steps back to let him stew in his fear.

Lucifer holds onto a deep burning rage at the imprisonment he had suffered at his fathers hands so he can understand her rage. Her desire to burn it all to the ground. He can relate to that, tried to do it himself once upon a time so he doesn't take her words personally. One major flaw in her plans though, God has more than proven he doesn't care for his first son.

How did she get that wrong? Literally the entire world knows how much his father hates him, how he was cast out and unwanted. Maybe she didn't get the memo but good old dad has abandoned his children. Classic story older than time, went out for a pack of smokes and never turned back.

"You're expecting him. Wow, huh. I wouldn't wait up. Pretty sure he caught the last train out." 

"Well...we'll see won't we?" She throws back turning and out stretched arm and every atom of his being alights with fire. She twists, crushes and stabs at every part of his grace with her dark powers. He has never before known such agony. He cries out at the pain that impossibly is steadily increasing in intensity. With every second his cries grows more desperate and louder until it crescendos into a keening wail that echos against the darkness of the night. 

"Hmm maybe we should move somewhere a little more private." She says giving Lucifer a brief reprieve from the torture of having every atom stretched to the limit. She smirks at his form that has collapsed onto the ground without her power holding him up. "You always had a taste for theatrics, I'll find a nice dark dungeon for us to play in. It'll be just like old times." Lucifer manages to lift his head long enough to pop a manic grin for her, he knows this game all too well. Give in too early and its game over, he'll have to crank his snark up to 11 if he's to stand a chance at surviving long enough...

Long enough for what? Who would come for him? Not the Winchesters, that's for sure. They probably spent a moment lamenting that their weapon failed but are more upset about the horn being removed from the game. Shit, they probably think this is for the best, won't have to worry about me as a loose end. Oh well tough shit boo hoo. Yada yada, regardless he still ain't gonna make it easy for the bitch. Got a rep to uphold.

"I've got to hand it to you, this place really has that sex dungeon feel to it. We got minimal lighting from above that casts dark shadows, it really sets the mood for a fun night of torture. We even got rats scurrying around to make it feel dirty, and being strung up like Christ on this hand cart? Excellent touch. 10 out of 10 would use this myself, although I've always had a soft spot for fire and brimstone myself but you won't lose points on personal taste." 

Not amused in the slightest by his antics Amara says nothing as he advances towards his figure in the mock crucifixion. Blue lightning arch from her hands and into the flesh on his face burning his skin faster past what his angelic healing can even hope to deal with. He screams as the energy arches though him.

She revels in his screams for a time then relents. "End your suffering Lucifer. Call out to him, beg him to save you."

Lucifer lets out a self pitying laugh at her ignorance. "You want me to beg daddy to come rescue his screw up of a son?" Another small chuckle, "I'm no fan of pops, but he did make all of you know, everything. That's something that you could never do because all that you ever wanted was NOTHING. It's not too inspiring is it?" He taunts, "You're strong Amara, you may defeat him but you will never be him."

She turns away from her nephew's words that strike true on a nerve. Lucifer mentally adds a tally point to his side of the score board. At least he still has the power to get on everyone in existence's nerves. It's the small things in life that really make it all worth it.

"Something's out there."

"Hmm, there always is." He mumbles back unsure where she is going with the non sequitur.

"No, this is new. Something's changed."

"Maybe dad's picked up on your latest slaughter fest."

"Spoiled brat, I needed solitude and he needed a fan club so he made all that. Then when I complained he stuffed me into a hole for eons, with your help." God save him from soap opera family disputes. Lucifer rolls his eyes, now she gets to the real torture, having to listen to her complaining that she wasn't a bad guy. Boo hoo me I'm all powerful but I got jealous over some tiny, insignificant creatures running about.

"Stop whining." Her mouth hangs open for a moment at his audacity to say such a thing to her.

"I don't need this." And with a flick of her delicate wrist Lucifer goes out like a light. She expects total silence but sense something inside of her nephew. She moves closer hand hover over his chest and can detect another presence inside. Its very faint as if Lucifer was hiding it away, protecting it from her maybe. Her devious nephew lives an interesting life, she thinks interested in what he was hiding away.

She reaches inside with her power to find the grace of another angel inside. Two angels in one vessel is unheard of, who would Lucifer allow to share his space with? The mystery grows more intriguing by the minute. The angel, this Castiel, seems to be locked in a loop away from controlling the vessel and cannot fight against her questions. 

The more she learns the more excited she becomes. A plan forms centered around using Dean and Castiel's relationship to get them to slip up and expose her brother. She pulls on her connection to Dean and sends an ethereal message to him.

"I missed you Dean." Dean looks up shocked to see her. "Its been a long while since we've...spoken. I'm aware that my brother has surfaced. If you should cross paths, if he should reach out to you, you should know this Lucifer his favorite? Isn't doing so well." She looks to the side drawing Deans away away from her to spy Castiel swaying on his feet next to her. His face is disfigured with burns and black lines of damage.

"To say nothing of the vessel, nor your friend Castiel." The vision of Castiel fades and Dean's heart clenches in his chest. "By choosing to ignore me my brother was allowing this to happen. These and uh, other things. I thought you should know." She says in parting before cutting the connection. 

Her last picture of Dean had been him devastated at seeing his friend suffering. She wishes there was another way, Dean has suffered enough and doesn't deserve this but her brother leaves no choice. The coward.

She knows that Dean will come through, he could never leave a friend to die, so she kicks back and relaxes waiting for Lucifer to reawaken so they can continue where she left off. She doesn't have to wait long before those baby blues blink open in confusion which quickly tenses as he remember where he is.

"Good you're awake. I want you to know that I discovered your little secret. You tried to hide him from me, but while you were sleeping he and I had a nice chat." Lucifer tenses once he realizes what she is talking about. "This, Castiel was a big help. Lead me right to their weak spot, gave me a better bargaining chip. Guess you aren't worth as much as you used to be."

"Inflation you know, can't buy what you used to these days. I know you're literally older than dirt, so I can forgive that you don't know just how far down the hostage value tree I've fallen. Thanks for the boost to the ego though." 

"You are going to have to be punished for hiding that from me. Always trying to trick someone, I think you need a lesson." She clenches her fist stopping his heart with her power. The air grunts out of his lungs, he can't breathe. She holds his heart in her hand cutting off the flow of blood, dark spots appear in his vision and grow as the lack of oxygen grows worse. Just before he's about to black out she opens her fist.

He sucks in a wheezing breath and can't hear anything over the roaring of blood in his ears. Wasting not a moment she does it again before his second breath. 

On and on she toys with him, showing him beyond all doubt that he lives only by her will. When his next breath in is a choking sound of torment she smiles and allows him to catch his breath. Once he does he looks up at her with eyes she expects to be properly chastised but instead is greeted with a defiant smile.

"I'm not really into the whole breath play thing, not kink shaming you of course. But maybe, maybe you could bust out some whips, ooooh or even a flog if you want to heh, really get a rise out of me." The unrepentant, shameless angel coos at her in a rough low voice. 

She glares at him face twisted in disgust at his crudeness. Clearly she thinks she still needs him as bait, and now that Castiel is out of the proverbial bag the likelihood of an foolhardy rescue attempt grows so Lucifer feels confident in taunting her. That she won't just end him, he's got that going for him.

"You always thought you were so funny dear nephew, but I find you...lacking. In so many ways. You use your words like an armor to hide the scared, pathetic boy striving for a father's love he doesn't deserve." Ouch.

"You think I care about that? It's old news. I got locked away just like you when he saw how black and twisted I had become." Lucifer spits blood out of his mouth onto the ground and grins into the face of death. "Know why he got rid of me? I reminded him of you. Your dearest brother hates you so much that he couldn't even look at me. So if I'm hot trash, what does that make you?"

Lucifer is rewarded with a stab of darkness in his thigh, and his shoulder. A whip (aww she really listened) of it cuts him across his temple releasing warm blood down his face. The daggers of darkness in his thigh and shoulder twist and expand inside him tearing the wounds wider. He expects more fire, or lighting to tear into him but is surprised by the ice chill instead.

The cold burns like fire, but worse. It spreads through his body sapping his strength, his resolve as his body succumbs to the cold void. The fire of his fighting spirit fades to embers as the call of the void takes hold. He thinks he should struggle, but doesn't know why. It would be so much easier to just...stop. Let go and finally be at peace after a lifetime of pain, it sounds so nice. 

Sam. His grace calls out, and he remembers why he is fighting. He can't die here and now, his self sacrificing fool of a vessel wouldn't last two minutes without him. Lucifer holds on to the one perfect memory of being joined with Sam and doesn't let go. Barely got the chance to enjoy it, and no two bit god knock off is gonna ruin Lucifer's second chance. The embers spark and the flame reignites pushing back against the invading darkness.

"Dean." She pulls back the tendrils from inside Lucifer and looks off into the distance. Without a word of good bye she leaves and the second she does Lucifer slumps like his strings were cut. Only the magical restraints are keeping him from hitting the ground. Its taking all that the arch angel has just to survive, she sure isn't pulling any punches. Lucifer closes his eyes for just a moment to rest while he can.

Some time later he reopens them when he hears three pairs of foot steps approaching. Annnnnd queue fool hardy rescue. Really so predictable. He manages to raise his head to see Sam, Metatron and some old guy.

"Oh goodie. Larry, Curly, and Moe." Metatron hurries ahead of the other two to Lucifer's side and covers his mouth with a hand as he see the spell work restraining Lucifer. "Search and rescue?

"Oh wow, it's one of Dad's favorites." He says when the prophet steps closer. "Your ticket finally got punched huh? Its wacky isn't it? One minute you're no body and then shazam you're Joan of Arc. Let's uh, lets hope this ends better than that." He huffs out a weak laugh.

"Alright can the small talk. We're busting you out of here." Sam interjects with a steady voice despite the situation.

"Oh stop my beating heart. My hero." Lucifer tries for a swooning voice but only succeeds on choking on his own blood that seems to have gotten in his lungs somehow. He seems the nervous looks being cast around him, oh how have the mighty fallen to get pity from humans. Once his coughing fit subsides Metatron starts mumbling through spells.

"Where did you grab this guy from? A Harry Potter convention?"

"You understand you'll be working with your father right?" Sam cuts right to the chase. "Is that going to be a problem?"

"That's family, this is bigger." 

"So you'll table all the old stuff?" Lucifer grits his blood stained teeth.

"What happens in heaven, stays in heaven." Sam nods satisfied with the answer then looks over to where Metatron is fidgeting while chanting spells rapid fire.

"Metatron, are we getting any closer? Dean can't stall forever!"

"I uh I am narrowing it down." A few more moments of chanting before he says the right magic words and Lucifer feels the spell release him.

He moans as his arms fall to his sides after hours of being held in the same position. The rest of him follows suit soon after and he slides down off the hand cart onto the ground in a heap.

"Hey Lucifer, snap us out of here quick." Sam pleads. 

"Uh no can do." Lucifer breaths out exhausted.

"What do you mean you can't do it?" Lucifer rolls one shoulder and lets out a sigh.

"Temporarily grounded, equipment malfunction. Its been a long day, and boy am I beat."

"Guys!" The newbie prophet interrupts, "I-I'm feeling her! She's coming!" He looks around in a panic. Sam takes a deep breath.

"We're out of here." He rushes to Lucifer's side and pulls one arm over his shoulder taking Lucifer's entire weight as he lifts him off the ground. After hours of every touch bringing pain its down right heavenly to feel Sam against him. Lucifer grunts at the pressure of Sam's strong grip around his abused and broken ribs as the taller man shuffles them a few steps away from the hand car he never wants to see again.

"Come on Metatron!"

"Its okay Sam, you go."

"What?! Come on!" Sam barks at the scribe.

"I'm serious, I got this." Lucifer rolls his eyes. Freaking Winchesters' pension for self sacrifice is catching. The weakling scribe stands no chance of even slowing The Darkness down and he knows it. Oh well, better him than me again.

Sam gives Metatron a tight nod and turns back to the exit with the prophet close behind. They are slowed by Lucifer's almost dead weight as they climb the ramp and make way to the impala. The prophet, oh so chivalrously opens the passenger door for them and Sam gently sets his charge down in the seat. He all but jump slides over the hood of the car in his haste to get to the passenger seat and they gun it like a bat out of hell tires screeching. 

They barely get a mile away before She appears in the road ahead of them. Sam slams on the breaks and tries valiantly to reverse out of there, but she has them within her grasp. Lucifer doesn't even have the strength to care at this point. It was a doomed mission before it even began, although its touching Sam would come for him. Well more likely he came for Castiel, but Lucifer clings to the fantasy all the same.

"You really aren't worth sparing." She growls at them still reeling from Dean's betrayal. "None of you." She whispers to the wind and gathers up her power to bring a cataclysmic end to the worthless creatures her brother chose over her. Lucifer looks over to Sam wanting that to be the last thing he sees before oblivion but suddenly they aren't in the road anymore. Somehow they are in the basement of the bunker.

"WHAT HAPPENED???!!!" Screams out the prophet. Poor guy, must be his first day on the gig. 

The other two in the car are confused as to what happened, but Lucifer can smell dad's handiwork on this last minute miracle. He takes his time getting out of the car, stopping to lean on the hood more than once to catch his breath. At this rate his borrowed body won't hold out for much longer and he'll die anyway. Amara did a number on his and all of his angelic abilities are offline, including healing. 

Sam comes over to him giving him a searching look no doubt wondering why he hasn't bounced back yet, but Lucifer despises pity and says nothing. Thankfully Sam takes his arm again to help him up the stairs. Lucifer isn't proud to admit he probably couldn't have made it on his own. Not that he'd ever ask for help mind you, but if his vessel wants to get up close and person he ain't gonna say no.

"Where are we?" The old man asks in a soft voice as some of the adrenaline has worn off. They top the stairs and walk into the main room of the bunker. Sam stops in awe and Lucifer uses his distraction to slide out of the man's grip to lean against the wall.

"We're home." His vessel's voice is full of wonder and that's right when Chuck walks in carrying a six pack. Perfect timing for dramatic effect as always.

"Occasionally I do answer a prayer." Lucifer has not seen, nor heard from his father in millennia and to see him just casually stroll in as if nothing we're going on sends old rage boiling up from within Lucifer. He half falls, half walks closer to lean heavily on a nearby support pillar.

And. Just. Stares. He knows his heart is in his eyes, but he can't control all the long pent up emotions from showing. His father, Chuck looks back unflinching for a moment before letting out a tiny sigh.

"You've changed." His tone has so many meanings to it, but the strongest emotion Lucifer can feel is that his father is...proud but melancholy over the process that lead to the change in his first son. 

Lucifer's throat constricts, he never once expected that his father would feel remorse for what he'd done to him. He had been expecting another lecture on his evil ways and how God knows best, Lucifer looks down momentarily at a loss.

"You've changed." He says back voice quivering with too many emotions to process.

"Well still, I'm pretty much the same." Chuck moves a finger and his divine light wraps around Lucifer chasing away the lingering cold void Amara had left in him. He feels his cuts disappear, his bones knitting back together as his father heals him. 

Lucifer stands straight again but words seem to be lost to both him and his father for the time being. They stare at one another waiting for the other to start what will surely be an explosive argument just like always. Lucifer is just not in the mood for that right now. Rain check please. He nods at his father and makes himself scarce needing some time to himself without dad breathing over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do Do Do~
> 
> Up next is what I've been wanting most to write since this fic hatched in my head ages ago. That being said next update might take some time. ^__^ 
> 
> Anyways Happy 2018 with a new year for Samifer!


	10. Honesty and Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Lucifer have an heart to heart that changes the nature of their relationship, and father and son finally settle an old argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay apparently sleep is for the weak so I guess surprise! Extra chapter! lol Imma die.

Sam and the prophet read the tension in the room and silent agree to make themselves scarce. As it turns out that is a wise choice on their parts because of course good old dad won't give his son a chance to collect himself. On no, heaven forbid that Lucifer needs a moment. God follows Lucifer into the library while his son tries to ignore him with his nose stuck in a random book off the shelf. He knows it won't work but it feels good to have something to look at besides his estranged father.

"So where were you?" Lucifer asks with mock carelessness knowing he better start the tone of the conversation before his dad goes into full lecture mode.

"That's uh...that's a long story." He dodges the question uncomfortably. "How are you feeling? I healed you." He tries turning it around to make Lucifer feel like he owes him. Typical.

"Hmm yeah. I didn't ask you to." Lucifer lowers himself to sit on the steps not looking up from his book.

"Son, be reasonable." Well there it is, already getting on dad's nerves.

"One cosmic band aid on my knee and what? You think that we're even now?" Lucifer looks up at his dad and raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Is it time for school? Play catch in the yard?" His dad looks away uncomfortable and like the teenager he is Lucifer turns back to his book tossing out "Screw you" over his shoulder.

"Guys?" Sam calls out from the bunker entrance catching sight of the father and son below. "Hey how's it going in here?" He asks as Dean and him walk down the stairs. God glances up at them then leans in closer to Lucifer hands out placating.

"Listen, I know I've been gone for a while. I missed a few million birthdays."

"Yeah and then the second your apes send a distress signal Boom! Daddy's home." 

"No that's not what happened."

"These apes saved your ass." Dean asserts, raising Lucifer's blood pressure. He glares at Dean hard but his father reassures the Winchesters.

"He can't hurt you."

"So what you're controlling me now?" He wasn't going to hurt him, just think about it in great detail, but its the principal of the thing.

"It's just a safeguard." If looks could kill the one Lucifer sends at his father would melt steel. His dad says he's changed but still doesn't trust him. He can't believe he let himself think that maybe, just maybe his father could trust him.

"Hey guys. Uh Chuck, Lucifer, Dean, think we could try and focus here." Sam tries to play peace keeper and break the tension that is suffocating the room. "The end of the world, common enemy. All that?" He's right, Lucifer shouldn't let God get to him. Water under the bridge, but good old dad keeps making it rain and Lucifer is treading water already to keep a cool head.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Team Amara. Go Amara." He stands towering over his father all but spitting in his face with his defiance.

"You don't mean that." 

"You're really not gonna say it." Holy Than Thou stays silent refusing to apologize.

"He's not gonna say what?" Sam asks softly not reading into the conversation the father and son are having with their eyes.

"Screw you." Lucifer whispers at his father venomously before pushing his way in between Sam and Dean to flee the room. He makes his way to what must be Sam's room and barricades himself inside. He wants to scream, throw things, and have a proper temper tantrum, but that would just be playing into what God expects him to do. Instead he throws himself onto Sam's bed dramatically and stares blankly at the ceiling for a solid 20 minutes. 

Once he calms down enough to not torch the place he looks around his surroundings for the first time. He chose Sam's room on instinct from Castiel's memories, but this is the first time he's been in here. 

Its surprisingly devoid of anything Sam. There are no posters, no art, no signs someone even lives here. It has some of his things yes, but nothing with any permanence, not unlike the hotel rooms he's stayed in.

Lucifer is not sure what to make of that. Sam called this place home but his room has no personal touches, its simply a room to sleep in. Perhaps the brothers growing up living out of each others pockets has made Sam a little codependent. Without another bed by his own he feels out of sorts, alone. Lucifer is willing to bet Sam spends very little time here and instead is in the bunker's common areas where he can see his brother's touch around the place. An empty beer bottle here, a kicked off boot there, anything to feel like he's sharing this place.

He sits up from the bed and imagines Sam were coming home from a case. Would he kick off his shoes and collapse into the bed? No I don't think so, he's always so neat and precise. I bet even when exhaustion is creeping in Sam takes the time to untie his shoes, put them away and change out of his clothes. 

Oooh, that sparks and even better thought. What does he wear to bed? Or more importantly what doesn't he wear? Lucifer lies back down and runs his hands over the high thread count sheets. So silky and soft, he must love the feel of these against his skin after a long day getting down and dirty being a good guy. Lucifer nods to himself, Yes. Definitely a boxers only sleeper. What a wonderful image that makes.

Sam is perfection, everything he could ever want. Beautiful both inside and out, and irrefutable proof that God hates him. 

A gift to make him learn to love humanity but never allowed to touch to hold him. Instead he had to wait literally ages to witness his birth, second hand since he was busy doing 10,000 consecutive life sentences in solitary. Lucifer firmly believes that Sam is God's most beautiful creation, not himself so he had mistakenly believed that dad would have given him a beautiful life to match.

Nah, instead he pulled out all the stops making sure Sam had one of the most fucked up childhoods ever. His dad had a second chance to at least give Sam, Lucifer's vessel, a good life to make up for the hell that was his disgraced son. If Lucifer could have heard stories from Azazel of Sam's happy life instead of a shit show he might not have wanted to start the apocalypse. But no, the world and its creator wronged sweet, innocent Sam so Lucifer would make it all burn. 

He regrets having Azazel watch Sam, he was never told to interfere, and Lucifer only found out about the demon blood and I don't know BURNING HIS MOTHER ABOVE HIS CRIB after the fact. Yes, that set the family down a road of pain and changed John Winchester from a loving father to a single minded agent of revenge, but Lucifer is sure that something else would have happened to set his young vessel down a mirror road of his own misfortune. Dad always loved cliche shit like that.

His thoughts are on his own mistakes with Sam when he hears a knock at the door and Sam calling his name. He now knows first hand how it feels for someone to not apologize for wrong doings so he sits up with determination. H will be a better man than his father in at least that regard. 

"Come in Sam." He beckons and the door opens to reveal both brothers Winchester standing there. "No, not you. Just Sam." Dean bristles in the doorway. "Don't worry good old dad made me as harmless as a fly, nothing untoward will happen to dear little Sammy. Scouts honor." 

Sam shoots his brother a look and motions with his head for his brother to beat it. "I've got this." Dean spares one more glare at the smiling devil in Sam's bed before stomping off. Sam stands at the door way for a moment unsure how to go about this, but Lucifer breaks the tension by patting the bed next to him. 

"Don't be shy now, I'll be the perfect gentleman I promise." Sam shakes his head at the angel's bottomless well for making everything a joke but does walk into the room closing the door behind him. He stands awkwardly by the bed pointedly ignoring Lucifer's not subtle at all eye motions to get him to sit next to him and compromises by sitting on his desk.

"So..." Sam starts, "that happened. Uh, anything you want to talk about?" 

"Yes actually, I wanted to talk about you." Sam startles at that, as he was expecting something about whatever pissing match was going on up stairs. "It has come to my attention that apologies are very important, and not getting one can really damage a relationship." Sam's eyebrows raise to his hairline, so that was what Lucifer wanted to hear that God was unwilling or unable to say.

"Okay..."

"I don't want to be like dad, I have to be better so what I guess I'm trying to say is." Lucifer takes a deep breath and looks into Sam's eyes as he speaks so Sam will know he means it. "I'm sorry." Sam opens his mouth but closes it again when Lucifer raises a finger. "I'm sorry I coerced you into saying yes by threatening all that you loved. You didn't give me real consent but I used the letter of the law to my advantage and it was wrong. I violated your autonomy and turned what should have been a profound moment of shared joy into what boils down to statutory rape. I can never make up for that except promising to never ask for that again, it was wrong of me to do it in the mock cage but I'd rather break your trust than have you dead by Amara's hand. 

"I'm sorry the snake Azazel all but destroyed your loving family, I never told him to do any of that I only found out after. But it was my fault for having him watch you. I only intended for him to keep you safe but instead he tried to set up some shitty hunger games bullshit with the prize of becoming my vessel. As if there was ever anyone but you.

"You're it for me Sam. All I ever wanted, but instead of treating you right I acted like you were something owed to me. I took for granted that you were mine, I never really tried to win you over. I should have waited, gone slowly with you once you set me free from my prison." Lucifer reaches out a hand but stops inches from Sam's knee before him. He makes a fist, he doesn't deserve to touch him and instead pulls his fist into his lap.

"I may have ruined with my own two hands what could have been the most beautiful of things. I was meant for you are you were meant for me, but I took what you weren't ready to give and used it to hurt those you most care about. I think dad meant for you to save me, to make me better. But instead I tried to twist you. I stole your innocence to make you a broken thing like me because I only knew how to take and by the time I realized what a mistake I made it was too late." 

Tears fall from Lucifer's eyes and he shakes his head viciously to expel them. "You were so brave Sam. That day in the graveyard. I left you no option but eternal torment with a monster who had only shown you misery and pain. And still. You jumped. No hesitation. You proved that day how much stronger and better than me you are. 

"I never loved you more than in that moment. And, and I never hated my self more." Lucifer's voice cracks on the last word, his eyes a pool of self hatred.

"I have failed you in every way possible and if you never forgive me I understand. I was gifted with the most sacred of bonds and I abused it. Abused you and that makes me a monster." Lucifer lets out a sad laugh full of tears. "Here I am throwing a tantrum because dad isn't not seeing how I've changed, when I've committed the most heinous of acts. He's right to not trust me. I'm am a monster."

Lucifer pressed his clutched fists against his thighs with his head bowed, too scared to look at Sam. Terrified he'll see hatred in his vessel's eyes. He knows he's deserving of anything Sam will say to him. He wishes Sam would just hit him, give him something physical to hurt from. He'd happily be Sam's punching bag for eternity if it helped tip the scales of the wrongs he's done but he knows Sam isn't that kind of person. 

Fresh tears stream down his cheeks that he hurt someone who is so good that he wouldn't even hit the man who ruined his life before he was even born. 

Lucifer startles when he feels a large warm hand settle on his own. He looks up without thinking and is greeted not with hatred but tears. Tears stream down Sam's face as he cries silently, but his eyes aren't just sad...they look almost happy.

Lucifer is confused, he doesn't understand this reaction. Sam swipes his free hand across his eyes clearing away the tears from his eyes.

"Thank you." He whispers barely audible. "I-I It feels good to hear that. That you care. Enough to cry for the wrongs you did to me and mine." Sam gives his hand a squeeze before pulling back to scrub his hand through his long hair. "I, I don't know about forgiveness or, or what but...but this is a good first step." 

Lucifer's heart tightens painfully as hope blossoms inside. 

Sam clears his throat awkwardly and stands up reaching a hand out to Lucifer. "Welcome to the 'fuck ups who keep trying anyway' club. Yeah I know shitty name but its pretty accurate when you consider all the mistakes we've made." Lucifer takes the offered hand and stands up face to face with Sam.

"The important thing is that you know its a mistake and you work to fix it, or at least do your best to make up for it. That's what sets us apart from the monsters." Sam is still holding his hand and looking into his eyes with such sincerity Lucifer can't help but believe his words. "You were a monster once, but its never too late to come back from that. I believe that you can do it, and-and I'll be here to keep you from going back to the dark side. I can be your moral compass, your light house in the night to keep you from falling into old habits. 

"You have to trust me more than yourself, do you think that you can do that? Even if we never become anything more than allies?" Sam asks softly.

"I already do. Yes." Lucifer replies without hesitation. "I won't fail you in this" Lucifer takes his hand back to wipe away his tears. "Look at the big bad devil crying like a little girl. Will you still respect me in the morning?" 

Sam barks out a surprised laugh as the serious mood is broken. "Yeah, now come on its time to play nice with the rest of the fuck up team. I even promise to try and be referee." Lucifer takes a deep breath feeling like the a lot of the immense weight on his chest is finally lifted. He can do this. He can play nice with dad for his sake. It's the very least he can do. 

 

And that is how he finds himself sitting at a table across from his father with the Winchester brothers standing on the sidelines to make sure they behave. Absolutely mortifying, but he promised.

"One of you is gonna have to uh, go first." Sam starts them off, "You know what Lucifer, you agreed to have a sit down if God would show so." He motions to God helplessly.

"Chuck, you did say you'd talk." Dean offers helpfully working the other side of the family dispute when both parties maintain silence.

"Him first, I'm the one owed an explanation." God sighs and looks over to the brothers.

"Okay lets try I feel statements." Sam gives his brother a look surprised by such a good suggestion, Dean leans in to whispers "Dr Phil" to Sam as an explanation. The brothers take step back and take their seats on the steps in between the two. Out of the way, but there and ready to interject if needed.

"I am sorry," Chuck starts, "that you feel that I uh, betrayed you. That I acted without cause. I'm sorry that you can't see you gave me no choice." Lucifer turns to look at the table trying to keep his anger in check at God's shitty not apology. Chuck turns to Dean with a look of 'see I'm doing it' but Dean shakes his head at him. "I'm good." That's it, nope. Lucifer is pissed.

"You heard that right?" He says to Sam who quickly intercedes to keep Lucifer from saying something he'll regret.

"We all know that you are God, but maybe could you be a little less...lordly?" Sam requests diplomatically with a wince.

"But I am the Lord."

"There he goes." 

"I did what I had to do. To create the world I had to lock Amara away, and when the mark corrupted you and I saw that you posed a threat to human kind I did the same with you." God says unrepentant. 

"No you betrayed me. You gave me the mark to lock her away and when it changed me. When it does what the mark inevitably does you threw me away." Lucifer's voice quivers with anger and hurt.

"No son, the mark---you always cast a jaundice glance at humans. The mark didn't change you, it just made you more of what you already were."

"What I was, was your son. Your child!"

"Why should I put you first above all others?" Lucifer turns to look at Sam.

"Do you have any idea what its like to argue with your father when your father is God? Everything is a tautology with you. Everything is because I told you so. Everything is it had to be done."

"We're pretty sure that's all fathers." Dean interjects

"K, fine. Big picture as God, you did what you had to do but little picture? You sucked at being a dad."

"Okay maybe I didn't handle everything perfectly." Chuck admits with a soft voice. "But tell me, could I have kept human kind safe with you on the board? I know about your little bid to replace me with the angels." His voice rises in anger. "Okay New God, what would you have done about you."

"Its not the point!"

"I can't believe I'm about to say this but, uh Lucifer is right." Chuck turns and incredulous look on Sam and Lucifer turns sharply in pleasant surprise. "All he wanted was an apology and you're too concerned about being right to give him one. Apologies aren't always about being right, sometimes they are just about apologizing."

"Yeah and the great thing about apologies is that you don't have to mean 'um. I lie and tell Sam I'm sorry all the time." Jesus Christ Dean really? Sam just stares at his brother. "Sorry. Heh, see?"

"Alright enough from the peanut gallery." Chuck waves his hand sending the brothers up stairs and out of ear shot.

"Really, what would you have done?" Chuck ask candidly without the audience.

"It doesn't matter. You were my father and you forsook me." Lucifer's voice is colored by pain. Chuck bows his head against his hands for a moment at that.

"I did." He admits surprising Lucifer with his honesty. "I was supposed to love all creation equally. I wasn't supposed to have favorites. But you, you were mine." He confesses looking up to meet Lucifer's eyes. "I gave you the mark because I loved you the most. Because I thought you were strong enough to bare it." Lucifer watches sadness creep into his father's face and can't even breath he's afraid to dispel the moment.

"And when I saw that I was wrong, I couldn't bare it. When I watched my choice ruin the heart of my most cherished son I hated myself and so I punished you." His father's voice waivers with held back tears, "and I am so sorry."

Lucifer sucks in a breath at hearing that which he knew he'd never get but yearned for all the same. He now understands why Sam cried when he apologized, he too finds himself crying. Knowing that his father cared so much and beat himself up over what he had done helps heal his self worth. To know that he mattered, that he didn't deserve it. He feels vindicated and all the hurt he was holding onto from that twists and morphs into a feeling of euphoria. 

Lucifer can't hold back the smile that tugs at his lips and his father smiles back at him with unshed tears. He's good. They're good. Its a good start like Sam said.

"So we're good?" Dean asks from the top of the stairs when he sees the father and son walk out of the room. Lucifer turns to his father giving him a nod that his father returns. "Okay. Great."

"So what now?" Sam asks always with his head in the game.

"We trap Amara. Put her back in the box." Chuck answers, but Dean sends him a confused look.

"The what?"

"You know you were right she needs to be destroyed, but I won't kill her."

"Why not?"

"Amara has been caged for billions of years but she was always there. She had to be there." More stares of confusion. "You know yin and yang. Dark and Light."

"English, Chuck." Chuck sighs and waves his hand so the brothers are standing next to them to make the explanation easier.

"There's a harmony, a balance of the universe. Light needs dark, dark needs light. If you blow one of them up then I mean."

"It wouldn't be a good thing" Lucifer interjects with a shrug.

"It would really not be a good thing. Like universe, end of reality not good." Chuck finishes.

"Okay so we gift wrap Amara. We got the team back together so.." Sam starts but is interrupted by God.

"Not quite we're still a few members short of the original line up." Chuck looks over to Lucifer who bites his lip before he expands on what his father was saying.

"The first time it took uh, the combined strength of me and my brothers to weaken Amara for Daddy O finished her off." He says knocking his shoulder good naturedly into his father.

"No even then it was close. No, with just the two of us we'll lose." 

"Okay so what? We need more group therapy between you and the other arch angels if we want to have a shot?" Dean asks.

"Micheal is in no condition to fight, and its outside my power to bring Gabriel and Raphael back." Sam furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"You restored Castiel."

"Arch angels are different, its the stuff of primordial creation. Rebuilding them...its time we don't have." God admits to his limits with a sigh.

"Alright so what do we need to win?" Sam asks

"What do you got?" He asks, the brothers share a look that clearly means they have an idea God isn't going to like.

Some time later they find themselves with a plan to unite angels, demons and witches for a temporary alliance to prevent the end of everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope none of you are bothered by me stealing the actual dialog so much. I mean, yeah, this is a fix-it but I hope I'm not over doing it.   
> After this next chapter it'll be almost entirely stuff from my brainssss
> 
> Any who off to sleep finally~~~
> 
> *woooosh*


	11. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God contemplates the journey up to this point in the span between tick and tock.

Each member of the team spends time rallying allies, sharpening weapons, collecting ingredients, and preparing for the battle ahead. The fight to end all fights. Each man and woman, be they Demonic, Angelic, Spell Touched, or even just a regular mortal ready themselves to fight along side another for the first time in history for the greater good of all. 

God had given a touch of darkness and light to all his creations and then given them free will. Choose your path, he said and through out history great things were done by his children. Great feats for betterment for all, and great acts of destruction. The scales held a balance between the two on a cosmic scale, but as God watches his children standing united-if only for a night- bringing tears to his eyes. Infinite diversity and infinite beauty, his children are ever changing around him and he couldn't be more proud. 

He has his favorites, every parent does, that he watches more closely than others and right now he is amidst the vast majority of them. His all seeing eyes track his first Son and his vessel as they dance around one another. Subconsciously they orbit one another, at times the orbit is far and other times like now, their orbits bring them close to one another. 

Twin stars trying to find the balance between them. Their gravity never lets them stray too far, but neither can they get too close without burning each other up. Once, God had thought that Sam's bright soul's purpose was to banish the darkness from his Son's torn heart. That Sam would give into his soul's desire to fulfill it's bond to Lucifer, for them to merge into one.

God realizes he was a fool to think anyone worthy of bonding to Lucifer would be willing to submit. It's ironic. He needed a vessel stronger than any other to be able to handle Lucifer, but the vessel became so strong that he would never concede to being a vessel to another. Catch-22 right there.

But maybe. Just maybe it'll work out despite God's gross over sight. Life always finds a way to surprise it's creator and do greater things that he thought possible. From the moment he first brought life to his sons he knew what he had to do. 

The first light dawning as Lucifer spread his wings out wide as God breathed life into him, it was a miracle. Something alive, and different after untold time of just him and his sister that were unchanging constants of the universe. Such a tiny spark of light when compared to his own, but he cradled the arch angel in his palms and cherished him above all else.

From the moment Lucifer opened his eyes God knew Lucifer would be trouble. So like himself, and yet so different. Something new, something free to change as he saw fit without being trapped in a role of either Light or Dark. Something in between, his first creation with free will. 

Lucifer questioned everything, soaked knowledge like a thirsty sponge and even argued back with his creator unafraid despite immeasurable power differences. He had no reason to fear his father.

Lucifer loved him unconditionally with every aspect of his being, and God loved him just the same. It was then when God had his first taste of worship, and it was addicting. Later, when God created brothers for Lucifer he gave them only a fraction of the fiery will he had given to Lucifer. They did not question, they simply obeyed and loved without being concerned about the why's of the universe. 

God loved them, as he loves all of his creations, but Lucifer remained his favorite. His brothers did not question this, it simply was. Lucifer on the other hand grew prideful, and thus the first sin was born, but the fault lied at his own feet. God should have loved all creation equally but he had bestowed greater gifts upon his favorite son leading him to believe he was superior to the others. 

Firstborns always end up more damaged than the rest of the children. New fathers make mistakes, wrong choices in the panic of suddenly having a tiny creature relying on them for everything. God was no different. He was the first father with no previous example to guide him on how to raise a child right.

God learned the hard way every time with Lucifer. He favored a strong hand when he should have instead used kindness, he punished when he should have instead taught. 

All that is wrong in Lucifer stems from his father. God knew this, but in his own pride he refused to acknowledge it. He is a constant like his sister and could not change. Would not change, not even when it meant punishing his son for his own mistakes.

Lucifer cried out for him from The Cage, his pleas ate away at God so he went away. He turned a deaf ear to his son's suffering choosing instead to devote all of his love to his new baby, humanity. It was wrong of him, he can admit that now. Still playing favorites and locking away problems out of sight and out of mind.

The Lord was a coward, he chose to run from his problems and responsibilities. In his absence said problems festered and grew, and do as they must; return to bite him in his Lordly ass. Lucifer almost destroyed the world when he was released by his vessel, his desire for revenge was so great. 

Amara will do so now if he doesn't face her.

His beautiful creations have shown so much bravery and courage in the face of insurmountable odds while he has only shown cowardice. 

God sees the inner war Sam has against his fear of Lucifer and how he manages to reach out to the hurting angel all the same. Its inspiring in its bravery. What worth is a God who won't do what his children manage to do everyday? He has long held himself above his creations, but on this day they prove themselves better than him. 

He needs to step up and act like the Lord her proclaims to be. A Lord does not run and hide, he fights along side his army. He will face Amara and lock her away once more to preserve the world that has grown to surpass him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely unplanned, I stand firm in my belief Chuck, being the diva that he is, took over my muse.
> 
> Bonus points for picking out my nerdy Easter eggs. xD


	12. The Offer and The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has one last night before he takes the mark and realizes he knows exactly how he wants to spend it.

Chuck is not surprised when Sam approaches him once his brother has left to convince Crowley to join their cause. 

"We can't kill her, so we'll need someone to carry the mark." He states simply and God nods sadly. "The lore says something about only those who are pure and not touched by the darkness being able to carry it."

"The mark will corrupt its holder in time, but to accept the mark you must not have the taint of her touch to bare it." Chuck spreads his hands in a helpless gesture.

"I'll do it." Inwardly Chuck frowns despite having known that this would come to pass. Yet another of his favorites will be doomed by his choices. "Dean can't and we don't have anyone else strong enough to take it."

"Once you accept the mark its just a matter of time until you succumb to the darkness's siren call within you. Are you prepared for that?" Sam squares his broad shoulders eyes full of determination. 

"We don't have time to find another way, besides its not like it would be new for me right? At least we'll know what's coming this time. I got Dean to watch out for me, he'll keep me from hurting anyone. No, its not ideal, but its the best we got."

Chuck really looks the young man in front of him, making the choice again to throw himself into hell for the world. So strong and brave in the face of fate. When Chuck nods Sam exhales loudly as his sentence is cast. 

"You know Sam, this may be your last night as completely yourself. If I were you, I'd make it count." God imparts some somber last words of wisdom to the man on death row. 

 

Sam finds himself at the door to his room, the room Lucifer has taken over as his own. He takes a deep breath stilling his nerves before turning the handle. Lucifer is sitting on his bed idly flipping through a book procured from Sam's shelf. Lucifer looks up to watch Sam as he takes a step into the room closing the door behind him quietly. Lucifer puts the book aside and turns his full attention to the man in front of him.

"Hey." Sam opens softly peaking Lucifer's interest in what has his vessel treading so carefully around him.

"Hey yourself." Lucifer replies matching Sam's soft tone. 

"So, I thought-I was thinking that maybe I could take a more active role in the fight." Sam's eyes shift off to the side as a tiny blush creeps up on his cheek bones. Oh. Well okay then.

"Are you offering?" Sam nods his head eyes darting up to Lucifer's and quickly flicking away again. Adorable. "Aww Sammy, I knew you'd be back for more. But so soon? I know I'm good but that's...quite the compliment." 

"That's-that's not what I." Sam sputters looking up to catch Lucifer's mischievous smirk. "Damn it Lucifer, can't you take this serious for one second?" He huffs out in frustration at being teased. 

"Sam." Lucifer's tone brings Sam's eyes to his once more. "I could not be more serious when it comes to you. What ever you want of me is yours." 

Sam is momentarily floored by the open look Lucifer is giving him. The raw honesty of his emotions show on his face. Sadness and regret at how their lives are, anger at himself and God for the hurt that has befallen his vessel, a yearning to shower his vessel with tender care, and a small spark of hope of being allowed to.

Sam clears his suddenly tight throat. "Right well, right now what I want is for us to win and, and I'm-I'm offering another uh, boost I guess." Sam wets his lips subconsciously and Lucifer's eyes zero in on the flash of a pink tongue that darts out. "But, but maybe this time take a little more? I can handle it." 

"Oh Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. I'll take whatever you want to give me." Lucifer scrunches his face up when he looks down at himself, "But not in this get up." A snap of his fingers and he's back in the form Sam knows him best. 

Nick's baby blue eyes look back over to Sam as he moves over and beckons Sam to join him on the bed. "I'll be gentle." 

Sam huffs out a breath of laughter but strides over to the bed with purpose. He sits down next to Lucifer his heart thundering in his chest with the gravity of what he's about to do. He takes Lucifer's hand and moves it over his heart like before and holds it there. "I know."

Screw Amara, his vessel will be the one to kill him with his sincere hazel and green tinged eyes. Heaven save him from temptation for he looks into the eyes of God's most alluring creature and finds himself wanting. 

Lucifer takes a breath and pushes feelings of peace from his hand to his beautiful but tense vessel. Sam closes his eyes accepting the other man's offer instead of fighting against it for once. Big shoulders relax as the tension melts off of him with Lucifer's help. He reopens his eyes, "I'm ready." 

"Alright big boy, how about you lie back and get comfortable." Lucifer says with a light push to Sam's chest. His vessel allows himself to fall onto his back against the pillows pulling Lucifer with him with their joined hands on over his heart. Lucifer hovers over his vessel holding up his weight with one arm next to Sam's head. He is careful to avoid too much untoward body contact as to not give Sam feelings of being trapped beneath him.

Instead he elects to lie half on his side next to Sam, pressed close but not suffocating. He leans over so they are face to face and loses himself for a moment staring into twin pools over flowing with emotion. 

"No shame in backing out, are you sure you want this?" Lucifer asks one one last time question loaded with meaning. 

"Yes." Sam whispers against his lips sending a chill down Lucifer's spine. He closes his eyes basking in the warmth that one simple word brings him before leaning in and pressing his lips to Sam's. The soft lips against his own remain closed for a heart beat before Lucifer flicks out his tongue unable to help himself.

Sam's lips part with a gasp opening himself to the angel in more ways than one as Lucifer slips his grace inside only to be met by Sam's soul rising to greet him. Unlike last time, this is no invasion, no violation. Of his own free will Sam searches out Lucifer in equal measure. 

It is Lucifer who gasps this time in pleasant surprise. In their joined mouths grace meets soul and dance around one another. One over eager to play, the other tentative in it's explorations. It's better than Lucifer could have ever imagined, that this beautiful soul would want to know him and be known in return. 

Lucifer patiently opens himself up completely letting Sam get his fill of exploration without asking a question in return. There is so much Lucifer has to make up for, so much wrong to make right. He is laid bare before his vessel, all his mistakes, his sins are out in the open. He has nothing to hide.

This is me Sam, Lucifer projects, the good, the bad and everything in between. He is deeply flawed at his core and undeserving of Sam, he knows this. His greatest fear is breaking Sam, of tainting him with his poison, but he can't help but seek out the younger Winchester.

Strong arms wrap around Lucifer's waist startling him out of the dark spiral of his thoughts. A thumb rubs against his back and he's never hated clothes more than now that its blocking the feel of Sam's skin on his own. A whine escapes from between them and he's surprised to find that it came from him. Their lips break apart as Sam chuckles.

"Has it really been that long?" He asks breathy and oxygen starved as he looks up coyly at Lucifer. 

And. Lucifer. Fucking. Blushes. Jesus Christ.

"You have no idea." Lucifer admits, his eyes telling more than he wants. "Maybe, maybe I've been saving myself for someone special."

"You're kidding? Right?" Lucifer shakes his head and Sam let's out a soft "oh".

"This shouldn't be such a surprise, I've spent most of my long life hating humans. Do you actually think I'd lower myself to being with one?" Lucifer makes a disgusted face at the thought. 

"Now you on the other hand, have always been my exception in everything. There is not a single thing about you I do not desire." 

Sam pulls Lucifer's mouth back down to his own again. He teases Lucifer's grace to come out and play again and when his grace answers Sam pulls it down deep within him for a stronger connection. Lucifer doesn't disappoint and wastes no time in wrapping himself around Sam's soul basking in its warmth. 

He soaks up the heat like a sun bathing lizard in the desert. Sam emits acceptance and joy in endless waves that empower the arch angel. If he could, he would stay here forever taking whatever scraps Sam deemed to give him. It would be a good life to worry about nothing save keeping Sam happy and safe deep inside him. 

A pulse of guilt crosses over to Lucifer. He sees his vessel offer bravely to shoulder the burden of the mark. Just like he had once done himself. Uncontrolled rage spills over their connection. How could God allow this? How could he ask this knowing full well what will happen to Sam's beautiful soul?! Sam reminds him that he offered, that it has to be this way.

Lucifer understands, the hard choice. The sacrifice. Who else would shoulder the burden other than his, HIS vessel?! Tears slide down his face as he realizes what this really is. What Sam wanted.

One last hurrah as himself before he is slowly torn apart. 

And. And he chose me. It breaks Lucifer to know that Sam chose him in end as his last bastion of comfort. Affection overflows from the fallen angel setting the room a glow in hues of pink its so strong. 

Thank you, thank you he says without words at the final gift Sam bestows upon him. I want it too, Sam echos back curling Lucifer into himself further as if he could just keep him. Keep him as a safety blanket from the coming darkness. He said he would give Sam anything he asked for.

Anything. Everything.

When Lucifer pulls back from Sam he leaves the barest wisp of his grace wrapped tightly around Sam's soul. It won't do much in the face of Amara's dark corruption but at least he won't be alone. He'll be with him always, even if they can never again join while he bares the mark. He can be strong for Sam, he says it with sad eyes that he understands. 

This is it for them. One night together against an eternity of solitude. He better make sure it counts. 

"Stay." Sam asks quietly with a squeeze of their joined hands. Lucifer could never deny him. 

"Of course." They move in unison, still in sync from their connection, to lay on their sides facing one another hands entwined. They gaze into one another's eyes communicating all their dreams and wishes without speaking. How they wish things had begun differently, that they could have had more time to work out what it is between them. What they want it to be. If only they had the time.

Hours pass in silence as they hold each other in the dark dreading the morning light when they have to part. Neither sleep, one incapable of it and the other floating from their rejuvenating connection that is still there faintly where they touch. 

Lucifer reaches a hand up to run it through Sam's hair like he has always wanted to. Sam hmms softly in content as Lucifer runs his fingers through his long hair. It's as silky as Lucifer imagined it would be and he marvels that he's allowed to touch it. He pulls Sam's head forward gently to place a kiss on his forehead in thanks. 

Sam draws in a sharp breath at the tender press of cool lips. He shudders at being cared for and held like this for the first time. He's never let his guard down enough to admit he needs this. He grew up with tough men and tough boys pretending to not feel so he learned quickly to do the same. Even when he got away to college, he was too scared to let his guard down for even a moment.

He pulls up their hands and presses a kiss to the angel's fingers before tucking their hands back against his heart. Lucifer pulls Sam's head to his chest and presses another kiss to the top of his head. Sam buries himself deeper into Lucifer's chest and the angel's arm tightens around him in response. 

Lucifer holds onto him as if he can protect him from the world, but eventually morning comes and he must reluctantly let go.

 

Dean wakes up in the morning feeling like death warmed over. He couldn't sleep for shit with the guilt of what they will be doing to Amara, again. He stumbles over to Sam's room and the door is still closed, which is sign one of something weird. Sam never sleeps in later than Dean does. He thumps his fist against the door.

"Up and at 'um Sammy." He calls out before opening the door and stops in the door way with his mouth hanging open. 

What. The. Hell.

Freaking Satan is in Sam's bed...and oh my god are they cuddling?! Fuck it, nope. Its too early for this shit. He pulls the door shut with a slam as he runs for the kitchen in hopes of finding bleach for his eyes. Instead he finds Chuck sitting at the table with a steaming cup of black coffee set out for Dean.

"Figured you could use it." Dean burns his mouth chugging half the cup in a go before he responds.

"You knew?" God gives him a look, right. "Right, of course. I mean- I mean you let that what ever the hell that was happen?" 

"Dean, your brother is an adult and can make his own decisions. Don't worry Lucifer was the perfect gentleman, no need for a shot gun wedding, at least not today." Dean sputters indignantly. 

"BUT HE'S THE DEVIL!" Chuck gives Dean a long look for his outburst.

"You might not want to throw stones when you live in a glass house Dean." Chuck takes a sip of his coffee before destroying the elder Winchester. "How are things with your girlfriend Amara these days?" 

Shit. He's got him there, Dean snaps his mouth shut with a click. 

Sam chooses then to stroll into the kitchen like he hadn't just been cuddling a the Devil all night long. Chuck gods a coffee for Sam as well who mutters his thanks. Dean watches his brother as he drinks his coffee, he doesn't look beat up or tired. In fact he looks lighter, happy even. Dean can count the times he's seen his brother like this on one hand-never. Its a good look on him, so maybe he'll butt out of it this time. 

Lucifer isn't far behind Sam and Dean has to do a double take. He's never seen Cas's face so at peace, it makes something twist in his stomach seeing it. He wishes it were Cas here with him now instead of Lucifer wearing his face. Dean has to look away before he bites out something that disrupts their tentative peace.

"Soooo" Lucifer breaks the ice, "Today is the big day huh? Everyone ready to kick God's sister's ass and/or die trying?" The only one who doesn't give him the stink eye for that is Sam who offers him a small smile over the rim of his coffee cup.

"Tough crowd, anyway if no one objects I'm going to the armory to practice stabbing motions until its time. Enjoy your breakfast puny mortals." A snap of his fingers fills the table with a mountain of bacon and stacks of pancakes glistening with rivers of maple syrup. Dean's mouth waters at the sight despite himself. 

The Devil winks at Dean and is gone in the next blink. That bastard knows his weak spot. Dean shrugs and with not one ounce of shame devours half the table at a frantic pace in case it disappears. Sam gives him a grossed out face but he just grins back mouth full of food unrepentant. 

Wasting food is a sin Dean will never commit. Sam huffs out a laugh and steals a piece of bacon with a smile. He loves his brother dearly and it feels like home to sit at the table with someone who puts the cookie monster to shame with terrible table manors. Its a fitting last carefree meal before everything will change one way or another.

 

As soon as Dean runs out of food they they relocate to an abandoned power plant and start the final preparations by rallying their unlikely allies for the fight. Angels, check. Demons, check, Witches, check. Lucifer, check. God, weak but still check.

God gives Rowena a nod to set their plan in motion. She sends an astral projection to Amara telling her she's with god as they speak. She walks out of the power plant every inch the brave woman that she is to be the first to confront Amara. The others stay back waiting with baited breath for the sounds of battle to begin.

They don't have to wait long to hear the echoed yells of Rowena's spells and the crackling of lighting that goes on for a few seconds before going silent. The silence doesn't last long as the second wave readies from the heavens for a grand smiting. Dean flinches at Amara's scream of pain as the lance from heaven strikes her and shakes the ground. He grits his teeth when her cry dies out knowing the Demons are next.

Light bulbs burst around them as the area is flooded by demonic energy and what ever sounds of pain she must be making are drowned out by the wind. Crowley senses some unseen cue and goes out to fight with his troops. Shortly there after the wind dies with a crash and there is silence once more.

Amara opens the door leaning heavily on it. Blood drips from dozens of lacerations, her shoulder is a raised boil of agony where the angels had scored a direct hit. Her dress is torn and blood leaks from her mouth as she grunts her way into the building. Dean's heart seizes in his chest at the sight. He never wanted to hurt her, he couldn't, but he's allowed it. Helped plan it and it eats away at him.

He unconsciously takes step forward to come to her aid but Sam holds him back and Lucifer does the vanishing trick before she catches sight of him. Amara looks around at the rag tag group in annoyance but when she catches sight of her brother her eyes fill with pain.

"Hello brother." She shambles over towards him, "You cheated. Again." She moves slowly down the stairs and turns to face God when Lucifer reappears behind her and thrusts his spear clean through her with a battle cry. Sam flinches back at the gory sight of the spear head protruding from her abdomen. When the arch angel pulls it out she falls to the ground and he moves to finish the job but God stops him with a cry and out raised hand. Lucifer obeys and takes a step back away from her.

"I'm sorry. For this. For everything." Amara's face twists in a mockery of happiness from where she had fallen on her knees.

"My apology at last." She pants and looks up at her brother. "What's sorry to me? I spent millions of years crammed into that cage. Alone and afraid. Wishing, begging for death because of you." Everyone in the room feels sick hearing how she suffered. "What what my crime brother?!" She demands.

"The world needed to be born!" He yells out and crouches down so they are on equal footing. "And you wouldn't let me!" Amara stares at her brother with an open mouth at the passion in his voice. "Amara, you gave me no choice!"

"That's your story, not mine. The real reason you banished me? Why I couldn't be allowed to exist? You couldn't stand it, we we're equals. We weren't great or powerful because we stood only in relation to each other." She huffs out a laugh, "You think you made the arch angels to bring light? No. You made them to create lesser beings to make you large." 

She pulls herself up with the railing empowered by her anger so that she is standing over her brother as he kneels on the ground. "To make you Lord. It was ego! You wanted to be big!" She spits at him.

"That's true." God admits with a nod surprising his sister with his honesty. He raises up from the ground so they are face to face. "But that isn't the whole truth. There is a value, a glory in creation that's greater and truer than my pride or my ego. Call it grace, call it being-what ever it was it didn't come from my hands! It was there, waiting to be born! It just is, as you and I just were. Since you've been freed I know that you've seen it. Felt it." 

God turns to look at Dean who is just staring at Amara with his heart in his eyes. She turns to look but Dean can't face her with what he's done to her and casts his eyes to the ground. Amara shakes her head turning back to her brother.

"It doesn't have to be like this. I loved you, brother." God stares at her sadly eyes full of guilt but saying nothing. She laughs to herself. "Well you won again. Finish it. Kill me." She bares her heart to her brother begging for the end.

"I'm sorry." Her brother says and she stares at him a moment in confusion until she feels her mark burning on her chest and horror sets in.

"No! no..." She panics as she feels the spell working and Sam grunts and her mark etching itself on his skin.

"I'm so sorry."

"NO! Not again!" She surges forward with all her remaining strength and grabs her brother by the throat lifting him off the ground. "Not ever again!" Desperation brings her more power she lets up and keeps him suspended above her choking with an out stretched arm. 

Lucifer lets loose a cry and charges forward intent to hit her again but she turns lightning fast and flings him back with her will. He drops his spear to the ground when he slams into a beam and falls to the ground. Before he can get back up he feels her grab his essence ripping him out of Castiel.

"Good bye nephew." She says and Lucifer screams as darkness tears him apart on the molecular level until he is nothing and knows no more.

"Cas!" Dean yells out moving to rush to his friend's side but is blown back by Amara.

"I'd die a million times, murder you a million more before going back to there!" God's spell fails and the mark disappears from Sam's arm. "Tell me, if you won't change why should I?" Dark tendrils rise from her dress.

"Amara no!" Dean cries out, she stops to look at him before turning back and stabbing into her brother again and again with her dark power. Light spills from his chest, his life blood, as he cries out.

"Sorry brother." She spits his meaningless words back at him as she deals a fatal blow. His entire being glows with blinding light and when it goes dark she drops him like a rag doll to the ground where he lies still. 

"Amara what have you done?" Dean begs. 

"He's dead. God's dead!" Sam says in a panic but Amara cuts him off.

"No. He's dying. My brother will dim and fade away into nothing, but not until he sees what comes next. Not until he watches this world, everything he created, everything he loves turn to ash. 

"Welcome to the end." She says in parting and is gone. 

Sam begins to hyperventilate. God is dying. God is dying, cycles through his head on endless repeat. They failed, with everything they had. They failed and God is dying. Dean isn't far behind his brother in not taking the situation well, but they are the Winchesters and manage to shake it off relatively fast all things considered.

Sam helps his brother to his feat and motions for him to check on Cas/Lucifer and he moves to check on God.

Dean approaches Lucifer and cautiously places a hand on his shoulder. The angel opens his eyes and looks up at Dean in concern. 

"Dean." Comes the familiar deep rumble of his friend surprising Dean.

"Cas? Hey is that you?" Castiel looks around him in confusion before turning back.

"Lucifer is gone, Amara ripped him from my body."

"To where?"

"No where. She destroyed him completely." Dean flicks his eyes over to Sam but he didn't hear as he was busy with God.

"Come on." He helps Cas to his feet with an arm over his shoulder. His hands linger on the angel's shoulders not wanting to let go after he's been gone so long. 

"Are you-how are you feeling?" Sam stumbles over what to say to God.

"You know when you're driving and a bug hits the windshield? I'm the bug." Cas hobbles over to God and stands there in shock.

"So what Amara said about you-"

"Dying? Yeah whatever she did to me, I can feel my spark, my light fading until its gone." Dean crouches down.

"Well tell us how to fix you."

"You can't. I-I suppose she could maybe but that's never gonna happen." The clang of the door opening interrupts the moment and Dean turns pulling out his gun in one well practiced movement and trains it on who ever walked in. 

"So that was a gun in your pocket." Rowena teases, she is followed closely by her unwanted son in joining the loser's party.

"Well that was one utter dog's breakfast wasn't it?" Crowley with his whip sharp with always ready.

"I didn't know dogs ate breakfast." Cas pipes up in confusion earning a look of confusion from Sam. Dean motions with his head toward his angelic friend.

"Cas is back." Sam looks confused and Dean is not looking forward to that conversation one bit but luckily Rowena interrupts.

"Just curious, has anyone bothered to look outside?" They look at her in confusion but follow as she leads them outside. Not one word is uttered as they look up at the sun barely having to squint its light has gotten so dim already. God snaps his fingers with one final trick and returns them to the bunker before collapsing.

One thing leads to another and literally everyone ends up drunk off their asses save Sam. They've all given up hope, even God but not Sam. He can't, not when lives are on the line. His pleas to find another solution fall onto deaf ears so he locks himself away in the library to look for. Anything, anything at all. 

Dean and Cas had left to go buy more booze and are driving in the impala when Dean glances over at Cas.

"How are you doin'? You know with the whole...Lucifer thing." Cas looks out the window at the scenery in melancholy while he considers how to answer the question. 

"It was stupid-" He begins but Dean cuts him off.

"No, no it wasn't stupid. You were right to let Lucifer ride shotgun. Me and Sam wouldn't have done that."

"Well it didn't work." The angel mutters.

"Yeah well it was our best shot, and you stepped up." Cas is taken back slightly at the compliment from Dean when he was expecting a lecture.

"Well I was just trying to help."

"And you do help Cas. You know sometimes me and Sam got so much going on we forget about everyone else." The world must be ending, Dean is treading dangerously close to feelings while stone cold sober.

"Well you do lead exciting lives." Dean laughs with a tilt of his head.

"Well that's one word for it. But uh, you're always there you know." Dean steals a quick glance at the angel, "You're the best friend we've ever had. You're our brother Cas. I want you to know that." Cas turns to look at Dean and they stare at each other while speeding down the highway in a rather unsafe fashion but for once Cas doesn't care. 

"Thank you." Cas says with utmost sincerity, he knows how hard it is for Dean to say something like that. Dean coughs to clear his throat and changes the subject.

"But uh yeah how was it with Lucifer anyway? He uh, he didn't hurt ya or anything right?" Cas just stares at him his face doing that thing where he doesn't understand.

"No, of course not. In fact he shielded me from suffering any of the damage when he fought Amara." Dean looks back at him shocked.

"Really? Why would he do that?" 

"I don't know Dean. I...sensed a change in him while we were together. He wasn't the same angel I knew when God had cast him out ages ago. Whatever it was, it was for the better." 

"Huh" Is Dean's intelligent reply. He doesn't know what to think of that. He's sure it's because of Sam but he's too emotionally stunted to deal with that. His cellphone rings with Sam's number flashing on the screen. Speak of the Devil's vessel. He answers and Sam tells him he's got something so he flips a bitch and speeds back to the bunker.

 

"So what you're tell me is that since God is dying if we kill Amara it'll bring balance to the force and the world won't end?" Dean simplifies once Sam finishes explaining.

"You are such a nerd, but yeah that's basically how it works."

"Okay I'm game. How are we gonna do this though? We threw everything at her and still lost."

And thus hatches the plan for a soul bomb. Its crazy, but the Winchesters are masters of pulling off crazy shit that shouldn't work. They begin gathering souls but fall far short of what they need. A surprise appearance of an old enemy at their door in the form of the reaper Billy changes that. She offers to help out and they gladly accept.

They got the bomb but they quickly realize only Dean can carry it. It'll be a suicide mission and perhaps the only way he'd be able to hurt Amara...if he goes with her. He's okay with that.

Sam is not. He's been adamantly refusing to think about how Lucifer is, just gone. He can't, not yet. But if Dean goes too. He doesn't know if he can handle it. Actually he knows he can't. The only one he'll have left is Cas, and he'll be grieving too. He tells none of this to his brother as they say their last goodbyes but Dean knows. He asks Cas to watch out for him anyway before marching off to his death.

As a group they make their way to a bar to drink until oblivion in Dean's honor win or lose. Sam tries to distract himself by taking care of Chuck and keeping him company in his final moments. It works for a time until Chuck is suddenly gone. Sam fears the worst but less than a minute later light floods in through the windows. 

Dean has done it. They are saved. The triumph of not dying is a muted thing when held next to his loss. Sam's bottom lip quivers as he fights the urge to cry around everyone. He turns to Cas who was already looking at him with eyes mirroring his own loss and motions for him to follow as he walks away from the group. They walk together to the impala when Sam stops and turns to the grieving angel.

"I just-I just need a moment. Alone." Cas nods understand grief is a private affair. "I-I can't go back home. Not right now, its too much. I think I need to go for a drive. I won't-I won't do anything but I can't go back there right now."

"Of course Sam. If you need anything just call. I'm here for you." 

"Thanks, and uh, yeah after. I can be there for you too. Just not-not now." Sam gets into the impala returns Cas's awkward wave and just starts driving.

*********

A thousand miles away blue eyes open and a man breaths his first breath of life on Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gawd I forgot to add the last sentence! So sorry, it wasnt suppost to be a super sad cliffhanger-just moderate. 
> 
> Gaaaaahhhhhhh


	13. After Math - Lucifer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Against all odds Lucifer finds himself still amongst the living but his whole life is about to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mother of god this fought me so hard. Re-wrote it half a dozen times from scratch. Just would not cooperate. Freaking 6 months to get this out. Soooooo sorry. ><'

A scream pierces the air startling a few pigeons into flight. His last memory was the agony of his grace being torn asunder with the full force of Amara's destructive rage. That should have been his last moment, nothing should come back from that and yet here he lies. Alive, breathing and in no pain. His scream dies off but confused panic replaces it. 

How? Why? Who? His mind races and his eyes dark around wildly. His eyes flutter about taking in the tall buildings crowded too closely together. Okay so I'm in a city, good to know. Hard asphalt digs into his back uncomfortably from where he lies prone in a street? No, its too rough and cramped to be a street. Ah, an ally then. Wonderful, must be in a good part of town then.

He pushes himself up to a sitting position and that is when he realizes there is something in his hand. A scroll. Foreboding weighs heavily upon him. Only one person would be so old school to use a scroll. Oh joy a note from daddy dearest. He pushes that off for a moment to take stock of himself. 

Unsurprisingly he's no longer wearing the dreary angel nor his appalling get up that's straight from a shitty 90's day time tv show. He is surprised, however, to find himself back in the form of good 'ol Nick. He'd grown rather attached to this form that was meant to be nothing more than a stop gap so it is no small comfort to have it back for the time being at least. He rolls his shoulders and stretches his neck in preparation to see what words of wisdom his father has left with him.

He slowly unwinds the scroll not really looking at the text until he has it full open before him on his lap.

[](https://imgur.com/cL2behV)

He reads it, then reads it again when his brain has oh so helpfully shut down part way through the first time unable to make the words make sense. The second time he reads his hands begin to tremble, and by the third the page tremors in his hands wildly. 

It's everything he ever wanted from his father. His heart soars with the feeling of vindication and solid proof in his very hands that his father was wrong in at least one thing. About him, about how he wasn't just a disgrace that brought shame on his family. Never let it be said that Lucifer thought he was on the side of angels, but neither was he a demon wanting for destruction just for the sake of it. He had his reasons and God had his for how it all went down, but to be cast in the muddled grey waters instead of the deep, black abyss means something to a man that has been the biggest baddie for most his long, horrible life.

A drop of water hits the page, then another. It takes Lucifer a few moments to realize he is the cause. He swipes his arm across his eyes to clear away his tears. He takes a deep breath, holds it, and then blows it out slowly and with it centers himself once more. He starts making a mental check list of his situation.

Alright, Pro's check list time:  
I got my favorite face back, and its for keeps this time. No more dealing with rotting vessel falling apart everywhere.  
Dad loves me and I can prove it.  
He even trusts me enough to butt out and let me chose my own path.  
We won! Hurrah for not being dead.

CONS:  
I'm a freaking ape! Oh god do I smell? Its just like dad to tag on a hidden lesson at the end. 'Oh I trust you now, chose what you want in life, blah blah blah. Oh yeah, did I forget you're one of them now? Good luck feeling superior when YOU'RE NOT'  
Dad left.  
AGAIN.  
I don't even know why I'm surprised, of course he left again. That's what he does. 

Lucifer checks his pockets and finds them empty. He only has the dad clothes Nick had been wearing. Yup, the same olive drab shirt, blue jeans and a 'so faded its almost grey now' blue button up long sleeve. 

"So I'm in some random city, the bad part of it too, I have no money, no powers and no one. Oh, and the sun is beginning to set and I'm homeless. Gee, thanks dad! You really pulled out all the stops in making sure my new chance at life got off to a great start." Lucifer rants out-loud to himself as he stands and starts pacing back and forth.

"Yuuuuuuuup, nice thought, but again, lousy follow through. Typical, setting me out on the hard path in hopes I what? Thank you for it? That I'll overcome and be stronger for it?" Lucifer yells at the darkening sky. "That I'll somehow magically love your creations just because you made me into one of these, these bottom feeders?!" 

Lucifer kicks out at a garbage can sending it flying and and losing its contents all over the ground. The metal makes a satisfying bang as it strikes a moldy wall that does nothing but feed the flames of Lucifer's rage at his situation. He lets loose a growling yell as his fury over takes him. He kicks and punches and slaps the metal can around, not yet feeling the pain of injuries he is causing his fragile mortal shell.

After what feels like hours but was only a few minutes his rage dies out as quickly as it begun; a candle blown dark by the chilling wind. Lucifer slumps against the unforgiving brick and slides down on to his ass exhausted from his tantrum. Once he could rage unending, but it seems he's denied even that now. Oh to be mortal.

The anger leaves naught but cold, quiet despair in its wake. His hands burn with dozens of small abrasions and warm blood seeps slowly from a few of the more deeps cuts he inflicted upon himself during his foolish rage. The former angel is entranced looking upon his battered hands. 

He turns his hands over carefully taking stock of every forming bruise, every single cut and tear of his flesh. He marvels at the sight of his own flesh and blood exposed for all the world to see. Oh how far he has fallen, the once mighty Lucifer is nothing more than a a broken man alone in the rapidly fading light. 

He watches the sky darkening above him taking it as an omen for his future. He stumbles over to an over flowing trash bin and all but collapses down beside the wastes of humanity's gluttony that pollutes the Earth. A fitting resting place if he doesn't manage to last the night. Lucifer has fought with everything in him for so long and now without anything left for him to fight he feels adrift without purpose. A puppet with its strings cut.

He cradles his hands that now begin to burn with pain against his chest and hunches in on himself in attempt to conserve the heat leaving him and taking his hope with it. He wallows in all that he has lost and almost hopes for the cold to just end it all. He doesn't want to die, can't even imagine what would happen to him once his mortal lifespan does eventually run out. Where would a former devil even go? Surely no where good. Maybe he'd just cease to be, a foot note in the universe's history, quickly forgotten in the grand scheme of things. 

No he doesn't want to rush into that unknown, but he is just so tired. Of trying. Of failing. Of everything. He knows that he should try to find shelter, make plans for surviving this final chapter of his life, but he just can't. Mere hours ago every essence of his being was ripped apart. Who would deny him the right to have one night to wallow in the misery of his existence? 

Exhaustion drags his eyes shut as he gives in to his body's need for sleep. If a reaper comes for him in his sleep, so be it. He's fought the good fight. Heaven and Hell be damned he's earned this rest.


	14. After Math - Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam lost both his brother and his new found connection to the arch angel in the span of half a day. He is not okay, neither is Castiel, but maybe together they can survive it.

The miles fly by as Sam drives aimlessly for hours in the only home he's really known. So many days and nights spent in the impala with Dean. When he's driving he feels closer to his brother than anywhere else. It helps to fill some of the Dean shaped hole in his heart, but he knows he'll never be the same. It's been the two of them against the world for so long now that Dean's absence aches like a phantom limb. A pain he will have to carry for the rest of his life.

Sam pulls off to the side of the road turns on Dean's favorite tape, grabs two bottles he had taken from the bar and goes out to sit on the hood. He lets the memories of the songs wash over him as he cracks open the beers. He takes a pull from his bottle and pours some out of the other bottle for Dean. 

Dean would have hated him for wasting good beer so he finishes both bottles as he watches the sun set. He doesn't cry, not yet, hasn't even really processed it. He'll process it later, always later with the Winchesters, and it'll be hell. For now he just enjoys the sun set that is all Dean. Dean saved the entire universe this time, so as far as Sam is concerned all sunset's are Dean's.

With the last fading rays of sunshine Sam packs back up and drives back to the bunker. It wouldn't be right to leave Cas to deal with this on his own. If Sam is completely honest with himself he knows that they'll need each other to survive this. All they have left is each other.

Castiel is waiting for him outside the bunker when he pulls up and parks the impala and Sam knows he made the right choice to return so quickly.

"Sam." Castiel says voice heavy with relief at the return of his last connection to this world. 

"Cas." Sam answers in the same tone before pulling the tense angel into a tight hug. Only a moment of confusion before Castiel relaxes in Sam's arms and slowly winds his own around the taller man to grip just as tightly. Angels were never made for physical comfort, its a strange thing to them, but Cas stopped blindly following the ways of his people years ago. The young angel marvels at how simple physical contact can make his heart feel lighter. 

Angels are multi dimensional beings and thus take very little stock of the physical realm, its just a tiny aspect of existence to them. Castiel has had brief periods when his grace had failed him where he was all but mortal and it scared him to be limited to the simple life and reality of the mortals he holds so dear. He recovered from his weakened state but the first hand knowledge of living as a mortal never left him, in fact there are times he longs for the joy he once had for food and drink.

In this moment being held so safe and warm in Sam's arms he has never been closer to mortal. He feels, really feels the strength in the taller man's arms that hold him pressed tightly against his chest. Castiel lets his eyes slide shut to focus on the feeling of the soothing circles Sam rubs into his back, the strong pulse thudding in his chest and the ghost of breath by his neck.

Castiel basks in the entirely human comfort being offered to him and returns it with everything he has. He grips the back of Sam's shirt like the life line it is and Sam pulls him tighter against him in answer knowing what Castiel wanted before Castiel even did.

They stand like that blind to the outside world and it's woes for long minutes, not one word said between them. Words always seem to fail Cas, but here they aren't needed. God's great scribe would have been at a loss to express all that has been between them. All that they have fought for hard for, what they won, what they have lost. 

It is some time before Castiel reluctantly pulls back and sees Sam's eyes are wet. 

"You're leaking again." Castiel says startling a laugh out of Sam and dispelling the somber air. Not always is Castiel ignorant to the ways of humans, this was an ice breaker? Yes, Castiel is almost certain that is what Dean would call it.

"Yeah- yeah I am. But its good ya know? I mean of course I'm sad but I'm just so damn lucky to have you Cas." Sam wipes his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "Come on lets get inside."

"Of course Sam."

They enter the bunker and both of them just stop when they get to the 'war room' strewn with books and beer bottles they had left in the wake of emergency planning. Sam shoots a look at Cas and just shrugs.

"We should-we should clean up. Yeah that'd be good. A good start." Castiel nods gravely grateful for the task to occupy him. Together they clean up one item at a time slowly. They savior the simple distracting task, one thing at a time. Slowly, that is how they are going to survive this. 

Both man and angel get lost in their own heads as they clean so its startling when they hear boots so familiar stomping down the stairs in the entryway of the bunker. They look up at each other in confusion before rushing to the entry way.

"Dean." Sam says breath but a reverent whisper, a prayer for this to be real. There is Dean coming down the stairs without a care, a smile on his face like he hadn't marched off to his death hours ago. There is someone behind him, a woman but all of Sam's focus is on his brother so he barely registers the other person's presence.

Sam rushes to greet his brother slamming into him with a great bear hug and squeezing his older brother tightly lest he slip through his fingers. Dean oofs out happily losing his breath at Sam's attack of a hug. 

"Hey Sammy." Dean claps his hands against Sam's broad shoulders before pulling back with a big smile on his face.

"You're alive?!" I thought. I thought you. God damn it you asshole I thought you were dead!" Dean laughs at the wild changing of emotions on his younger brother's face.

"Can't get rid of me that easy Sammy, you know that. Winchesters never seem to stay dead." Dean smirks at his younger brother and tilts his head in the direction of the woman behind him. "You wouldn't believe who I found." Sam eye's follow to really look at the woman behind his elder brother for the first time.

His breath catches in his throat, a face he has never seen before in waking but one that has haunted his every nightmare. It can't be, it couldn't possibly be. Never once had Sam ever considered the possibility of *her*.

"Mom?" His voice quivers in confused longing. The woman, his mother, smiles at him with a hint of sadness.

"Hi Sam." Sam is man enough to not deny the sudden rush of tears that fill his eyes. Dean claps him on the back again before moving around the statue that his younger brother has turned into.

"Go say hi to mom you big sap." Dean turns his eyes to Cas who hasn't said a word standing awkwardly to the side unwilling to intrude on the family reunion. 

"Dean." Cas's gravely voice rasps out with more emotion than he had thought possible. 

"Cas." Deans moves up to his guardian angel and is pleasantly surprised when he suddenly has arms full of angel that clings to him tightly. Dean has never been one for being physical unless it was with the fairer sex, and Cas is anything but touchy feely, but near death experiences have always been the exception to the rule. 

Sam and his mother didn't get the touchy feely memo and instead are standing awkwardly neither sure what to say to the other. Sam never even knew her, nor she him as she died when he was but a baby. What does one say to their long dead mother? Or a mother to her baby that is suddenly a fully grown man? 

Luckily the pair is rescued when Dean pulls back from Cas and they walk over to them. 

"Come on let's show Mom around." Dean swoops back in to his mother's side like he never left and plays tour guide through out the bunker that has become the most permanent home they have ever known. Sam adds short comments as they go through but falls behind to join Cas in silence as Dean steals the show growing more and more excited as he shows his mom around.

Their mother begs off needing time to deal with you know the whole not being dead thing and retires to one of the many free rooms. Dean pouts unwilling to let her out of his sight now that he's finally gotten her back but gives in easily enough as even he can see how overwhelmed his mother is. 

"Can you believe it Sammy?" Dean asks his brother once they'd taken up their favorite places around the war room table across from one another. "Amara brought her back for me." Dean shakes his head still unable to believe that act of kindness all for him when he had gone there with full intent to betray her and kill them both. 

Sam is staring into the depths of the bottle in front of him as if he hadn't heard a word Dean has said. 

"You alright there Sammy?" Deans asks clinking his beer into his brother's to get his attention. Sam's eyes raise to meet his own but instead of excitement or happiness he just seems....blank. "Aren't you happy we got Mom back?"

"Yeah. Of course I am. Its just. . ." Sam takes a deep breath and blows it out through his bangs. "Its just I never knew her, its weird. I know I should be excited-I've always been jealous that you knew Mom. Growing up without a Mom I always dreamed of what it would be like to have a Mom." Sam picks at the label of the bottle as an excuse to break eye contact.

"But-Its just like. I donno man, I don't know her. She feels like a stranger."

"Well yeah Sammy, you just gotta get to know her. She's our mom she's gonna love you."

"I know. I know. It's just with everything that's gone on, who we are, what I've done. I don't know if she is ready to know me. I mean come on Dean, she's been gone for 30 years. She has a lot to think about and get used to, I don't want to add to that." Dean opens his mouth but Sam raises his hand and Dean closes his mouth. "I'm not saying never. I'm just saying maybe you should be the one to ease her into things. I'm not in a good place for that right now. Sure later I'd love to get to know her, but for right now its just too much."

Dean is quiet for a long moment as he thinks over what Sam is saying. He can't relate to Sam's feelings, but he gets where he is coming from. Hell its even logical in that weird way Sam thinks. Dean drains his beer and stands up moving over to where Sam remains sitting and puts his hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Alright man. Okay, I won't push you. But what will you be doing while I'm showing Mom the ropes?" Deans asks but already knows the answer.

"I think I'll go for a road trip. Get my head on straight. Gank a few monsters, save a few people." Dean can respect the tried and true method of hunting your way into a better head space, but he can't just let his little brother go off alone.

"You should take Cas with you." Sam jerks slightly under Dean's hand in surprise at Deans words. "I mean, its gonna be hard to explain why we have an angel popping in and out of the place without getting into shit she don't need to know about yet. Besides, it'll be good for Cas to get out and relax too. He's been ridding bitch with the devil last few months, probably needs to stretch his wings."

Sam squeezes the hand on his shoulder and nods in agreement. Dean squeezes his shoulder once more before letting go and walking off to his room. 

Sam remains at the table late into the night rubbing his chest where a pulling ache has been bothering him ever sense-ever since he watched Lucifer be ripped apart. Seems that night they had together was his only brief respite from the ache of missing half of him. Another burden, another scar upon his soul. It's a long time before he crawls into bed and even longer before sleep finally pulls him into blissful oblivion.


	15. Carry On My Wayward Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Lucifer go on learning to live with their changed circumstances separately for months until fate deals a hand that would bring them back together.

The Morning Star awakens with light upon his face from the new day. Of course he does, nothing so pedestrian as a little exposure to the elements would be the end for the once mighty arch angel. His melancholy thoughts of the night before evaporate away with the warmth of the sun on his face. He was once cast out to become nothing and he rose above it all to be the King of Hell, the small set back of mortality is nothing to the likes of him.

He will rise above this, prove to his father, to himself that he can be more. He will not just survive as a mortal, he will thrive. He has the will of one who has been broken and who will never again allow that to happen. 

Lucifer spends time first watching his fellow outcasts of society as they go about their routines. He learns from them, how to get food, where to find the best shelter.

After a time of careful observation he gets himself accepted into a group of the younger outcasts. At first they are rightfully wary of the older man in their midst but soon enough he proves himself a great ally in scaring off the more disreputable of their fellow street people with just a look only a mad man would dare challenge.

Months go on as he rises to the role of their protector and eventual leader. He had missed having underlings but this time its different. These children follow him not out of fear but respect. Its an entirely different feeling, no wonder his father had become addicted to it. These weak creatures look up to him for answers, for protection, and strangely enough they seem to actually care for him.

One dark and lonely night one of the girls confesses to him that he reminds her of what a father should be and it shakes him to his foundations. He brushes her words off saying he never did anything more than the most basic of things to keep their group going, but she sees through his lie easily. 

When did he grow attached to these mortals? He had thought only of establishing a power base to grow upon, but when did that change?

He felt a kinship with those outcast by their families, but somehow along the way it went beyond just understanding pity. He found himself a new family. A rag tag family of broken children. How quaint.

The months after that night he can feel a change within himself. It seems once he acknowledged his own humanity it opened the flood gates. He finds himself actively caring for the well being of his charges. Lucifer makes plans and moves to better the lives of these children. No longer does he just wish to use them as stepping stones to move forward, he wants them to succeed. They are still so young but a mortal's life is so fragile and short, he feels he can't waste any time getting them into a better life than stealing the scraps cast off of society.

Unbelievably he puts their needs above his own. He has had so many chances in his long life that he wasted, these children deserve it more than he ever would. Slowly their numbers dwindle as he schemes his way through getting some of them home if possible until only two teenage girls who parents would not taking their sinning daughters back remain.

That decision sets him down a path that he never thought he would take. A path that would end up with him lying broken and bloody on the street after defending the girls, no the young women, from being taken and used by a gang. He fought with everything in him to buy them time to escape. To follow through with a plan to get them to a place safe from a fate no one deserves. 

He is but a moral man and though he fights not just for his life, but theirs he loses, and he loses badly. But succeeds in in the grand scheme as the four men spend time beating him instead of chasing the girls. Once the men kicking him on the ground realize this and give chase Lucifer's face splits into a bloody smile knowing they won't be able to catch them. He had planned for something like this after all. 

The once mighty arch angel curls onto his side coughing up blood as he laughs. He finally gets it. Why the Winchesters are such self sacrificing fools, and now he has to count himself amongst them. Who would have thought it? His joy is short lived as he thinks of Sam, how he will never get to share this with him. How he managed to do good one final time.

Tears run down Lucifer's cheeks wishing he could see Sam just once more before the end. To see his vessel's eyes fill with pride just once when looking upon him. 

"Sam." Lucifer rasps out with all the air left in his lungs like a prayer none no one is there to answer and he knows no more.

 

********************************

 

His mother takes the news that her son is going out hunting with his fellow hunter the mysterious Castiel well. That cements that his idea to leave was a good decision. Sam and Cas leave with a promise to keep in touch with Dean everyday. Sam doesn't have a destination in mind, just a general pull to drive. He lets that feeling guide him and along the way they find small time jobs to save and help people along the way.

Castiel is quiet but not in his normal way. Its clear the angel has a lot on his mind, meeting his creator and losing him so fast would do a number on anyone. Sam doesn't push his friend, he knows it takes a while for Cas to process anything and pushing would just impede the process. Its not like he doesn't have a lot to process himself.

Weeks go by before Sam brings up Cas's time sharing a vessel with Lucifer. He brings it up gently expecting it to be a touchy subject but Cas isn't bothered in the slightest. He had gone into it fully willing after all, and Lucifer never did anything untoward during that time. 

"It was strange, I thought he'd make me suffer. I was, after all, one of his enemies but he mostly ignored me." Castiel admits. "I watched a lot of t.v." 

After that they talk on and off about Lucifer, about how much he seemed to have changed since they all fought him together. Castiel was never one to hold a grudge and understands intimately how the most righteous can be lead a stray thinking they were in the right. He will never forgive himself for the short and cataclysmic time he had played God. How many of his own kind he had slain thinking he was doing good, letting his new found power consume him?

Sam and Dean forgave him so easily, and helped him come back to the side of light against all odds. He will forever be in their debt for their faith in him. That horrible experience changed his perspective on Lucifer. Once he had been certain beyond any doubt that The Lord of Lies would never be able to redeem himself. That he would forever be a creature of darkness. He had defied God, their lord after all.

But. But to hear from God's own mouth that Lucifer hadn't deserved that fate. That he wasn't damned and that God himself had hope for his first son? That he regretted locking away his son instead of taking the time to help his first born work through his darkness? 

Castiel knows that he likely would never have come back from his brief trip into madness if it were not for the support from Dean and Sam. Lucifer never had that, God decreed his son an outcast and not one of his brothers or sisters stood by his side. As one his family, his entire world turned their back on him, no one to try and help him back into the light. The darkness within became his only comfort.

They continue slowly on their trek ever west ward chasing the pulling ache in Sam's chest. Castiel never questions their destination, nor their journey but another month passes and a weird sort of not quite guilt forces Sam to confess to the feeling that has over come him ever since....Lucifer.

"What, what do you know about true vessels?" Sam hedges awkwardly one night over dinner in a run down hotel. Castiel looks thoughtfully at the other man for a moment before answering.

"Well, as you know all angels are predisposed to a connection with certain vessels. The stronger the connection the more powerful the bond. Jimmy Novak and I were in the 90th percentile of compatibility and that in itself is quite a rare thing to find." Sam nods along waiting patiently for Cas to continue. 

"Now with the whole," Cas waves his hand in the air, a habit he clearly learned from Dean, "apocalypse thing that Micheal could take over either Dean or Adam to be on par for a battle with Lucifer. The angels carefully cultivated the bloodline to make sure Dean and Adam were born as they were."

Castiel pauses for a moment trying to find the right words.

"But you, you were not a part of that careful cultivating of blood lines. You were always preordained to be born as you are. God had set that into motion long before Lucifer's fall. You were the first. The only true vessel sculpted by God's hand." Sam blinks surprised by that, he had always assumed Dean was a true vessel of Micheal as well. "What the angels did to make sure Dean and Adam were born was a pale comparison to God's work.

"You are special Sam." Castiel casts his eyes downward in guilt. "What we younger angels were taught about you after God's absence was wrong. We were told you were an abomination. That merely by being Lucifer's you were tainted." Castiel looks back up and implores Sam with his earnest eyes to believe his words.

"I am sorry. It was wrong. We were wrong. During my. . .time playing at God I had found ancient records by Metatron singing praise of your creation. You were to be the greatest gift to God's favorite son. There were many tales told amongst the other angels of their desire to have a true vessel. That if they just were a little bit more dutiful in their service to God that their father would grant them that gift as well." Castiel face scrunches up as he tries to think of a way to relate the angelic poetry in terms a human could understand.

"I think you humans would call it the greatest fairy tale. A tale of true love? Yes, a cosmic romance fated in the stars." Sam's face flushes at that. 

"Okay, wow. Um. Right so." Sam stumbles over his words completely blind sighted by the revelation. "So uh, what you're saying is that since I'm the *only* one there isn't really much you can tell me about how it works?"

"No." 

"Damn it." 

Silence falls between them for a time until Sam rolls his shoulders and presses onward.

"So, he uh, he touched my soul. Twice." Castiel's eyebrows raise in question. "And uh. It was. I can't really describe it Cas, it was just the most perfect feeling. But uh. Once he, you know. After Amara. It hurts. Here where he touched me. My chest aches, and I know its my soul missing his. I can feel it pulling me along. I had felt it when I was younger always pulling me towards something. Him, I guess." Sam licks his lips before continuing.

"What I'm saying I guess is that this random road trip? Not so much. I feel like I'm back to chasing him. I-I feel empty without him but I don't think he's really gone. No, I know it might just be wishful thinking, but I feel like I'm chasing him."

Castiel quietly contemplates the possibilities. He had felt when Lucifer was torn apart, he just cannot imagine a way anything could have survived that. And yet. . .if anyone could it would be The Morning Star.

"It is possible. . ." Castiel mutters and Sam releases a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"And you're, you're okay with that? With the possibility of finding him?" Ah, Sam is worried about what Castiel will do if by a miracle they stumble upon the Devil.

"Sam. I felt that he was different, apart from you and God I had the closest connection to him. He felt different." Another serious look full of conviction. "Beyond that, know that I would and will follow your lead reguardless."

"Thank you."

"Of course Sam."

A few days later Sam is grateful he had the foresight to have that conversation with Castiel. They are just exiting the hotel room heading for the impala when a sharp pain stabs into his chest dropping him to his knees. The pain bows him over and his hands claw into the dirty from the pain.

"Sam" Lucifer's voice breaks against his ear, so close Sam can swear he can feel the ghost of breath on his neck. A vision takes him of Lucifer bloody and broken face looking up at him, his lips twisted into a sad smile before his eyes fall shut and the vision drops out.

Sam pants and sweat pools off his body as he tenses from the power of the vision. Sound comes back to him slowly in the form of Cas repeating his name in concern. Sam takes a shuddering breath and then another before he is able to speak.

"Lucifer." The name comes out half prayer, half plea. Sam turns his frantic eyes to Castiel. "Cas, we have to get to him." He begs his friend. Castiel offers a hand pulling Sam up to his feet. "I had-a vision, I don't know. But I saw him. I saw him Cas." Tears well up in the younger man's eyes.

"He called for me." Castiel's heart twists in empathy for his mortal friend's anguish. "We have to get to him. Now. Can you-Can you mojo us there? From my memory of where I saw him?"

"I can try." Castiel places two fingers against Sam's forehead and they disappear in a flash of white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally planned out a long ass arc for both of them before they would meet again...but that just wasn't working. Its why I was stuck for 6 months until I threw in the towel. Maybe someday I'll go back and write what I had planned out, but until then...Oh well!
> 
> Next chapter will take longer to get out (but by god not another 6 months I SWEAR to chuck!) as it should be significantly longer than the last 3 updates.


	16. Wayward Daughters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Cas rush to Lucifer praying to not be late but two girls get caught up in the mix.
> 
> Who are they to Lucifer, and what is he to them?

Castiel and Sam arrive in a dingy alley way with a burst of light and Sam knows immediately that they arrived at the right place. Sam looks around, quickly spots a prone form lying a few feet away from where they stand and his heart leaps into his throat. Sam rushes over to the man but it feels like he is moving in slow motion. It's taking too long for him to get there, he knows he is out of time, the urgency in his chest increases with every beat of his heart.

In a detached sort of way Sam notices first the dirty blonde hair and the familiar, if not ratty clothes on the man. The angel? The way he is lying there still as death leads Sam to assume if nothing else Lucifer is lacking his healing powers. An age and a half later finds Sam crouched over the still form and there is no doubt in his mind that he was right to risk the angel jump with Cas. 

The once great arch angel lies broken on the ground, obviously beat half (please God let it be half) to death with a small puddle of blood surrounding his head like a sick mockery of a halo. Sam reaches out a shaking hand and gently cups the blonde man's face and feels for a pulse. 

There isn't one, nor does the man's chest rise nor fall with breath. Panic grips his heart, terrified of being too late.

Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. His thoughts cycle unending in a whirlpool of terror. He raises his eyes to implore Cas to save him. To at least try. He knows. He knows that Cas can't bring back the dead. But maybe, just maybe he's only mostly dead.

Please God don't let him be dead.

Castiel gently, reverently places his hand against Lucifer's forehead and white light temporarily blinds Sam as the body in his arms is engulfed in healing light. One beat, two beats of his heart until it fades away.

Castiel pulls his hand back with a grave expression. Sam holds his breath staring at Lucifer's lips and willing them to open. To breathe, to do anything but stay closed. 

"Don't you dare die on me!" Sam cries at the man in his arms who startles in a breath. And then another. Blue eyes open and swing to look into his own.

"Sam." He rasps out causing Sam to let out a choking cry in relief. He made it, they made it in time. 

Sam cradles the blonde head and leans down to press his forehead against Lucifer's. He stays there sharing air with his other half for long seconds just enjoying the feeling. He can't speak, he's too overwhelmed for words. A hand reaches up to his own hands and gives them a weak squeeze before falling back down.

Sam pulls back and sees that Lucifer's blue eyes have closed and he's completely limp in his arms. A swell of panic rises then ebbs when he sees Lucifer's chest rising and falling slowly but steadily. 

"It was all I could do pulling him back from the brink." Cas's gravel startles Sam momentarily reminding him a world exists outside of Lucifer and him. 

"Thank you Cas. Really, thank you." Castiel shrugs off the heartfelt thanks.

"Unfortunately we both will need rest before we can go anywhere." Castiel admits ever uncomfortable with how limiting his weakened state of power is. For the longest time he was one of the most powerful players in their world, all the Winchesters needed he could and did provide. Despite many assurances from the brothers that his state doesn't bother them Castiel cannot help but feel like a dead weight.

"No, no of course Cas. We can just- we can just find a hotel, its no problem." Oh Sam, always so perceptive and kind. Castiel cannot imagine what his life would have been had he not stayed around to keep an eye on the pair after pulling Dean from Hell. 

"Luci!" A female cries out surprising the hunters. A skinny girl with dirty blonde hair comes barreling into the ally followed closely by short girl of Asian decent with short cropped black hair. The pair stop dead in their tracks only a few feet from them. Keen and distrustful eyes quickly take in the scene before her.

These obviously aren't the trash idiots who had wanted to take her and Gaile away the blonde observes. It's plain to see that the two men stumbled upon Luci in the ally way, but the way the bigger man is holding Luci in his lap speaks of familiarity. His touch is tender so he had to have been close with Luci from before.

"Is he ok?" Gaile meekly asks a half step behind her girlfriend Erin. The shorter man in the trench coat subtlety shifts his weight so he can be in a position to intercede should either of them move any closer. Erin reads his posture to be defensive in nature much like her own in front of Gaile.

"He will be." The man's voice is surprisingly deep and rough as if he were a life long smoker. The large man holding Luci nods as his eyes drop back down to look at the man half in his lap.

"Who are you guys? How do you know Luci? How do you know he's going to be okay?" Erin rapid fires off demanding answers, she's learned the hard way that very few people are what they seem. A free meal from a seemingly kind old man can turn into something real ugly if you let your guard down. The large man looks back up at her and blinks for a moment as he processes her questions. Its a common tell for when someone is about to feed you some bullshit or if they are gauging how much to hold back.

"Don't even think about it." She stops him before he can pick a story to tell. "Luci has been good to me, good to us and I sure as shit ain't gonna just believe you were just in the right place at the right time. You two," She jabs her finger out at them rudely, "know him, or at least knew him. And, and I saw the guys who beat the hell out of him. You'd have to have known something was up for him to be okay after that."

A smile breaks out on the large man's face against all logic after her harsh words. It seems like he is impressed and pleasantly surprised. Just who the hell are these guys? He gives the other man a look and the guy in the trench coat nods at their silent communication and takes a step back. Obviously the big guy is in charge here so she turns her eyes back to him and lifts her eyebrow expectantly.

"Okay. Well to start in order I'm Sam and this is Cas." 

"Wait." Erin stops him with a hand her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. "Hold up. You're Sam?" The man nods clearly confused. "The Sam?!"

"Yes. . .?" 

"Holy shit!" Gaile covers her mouth too late to cover her outburst. Sam shoots a look back over to Cas clearly a 'what the hell' before turning back to the girls.

"Okay then. That's. That's something." Erin trails off lamely as she works out how this is going to change things. "Alright the rest can wait, we really shouldn't stay here in case the assholes who did this back track or something looking for us." She spares a look at Gaile who just squeezes her hand in accent. They'll trust them for now and get the whole story out once Luci is as safe as any of them can be.

"Are there any hotels nearby?" Gaile nods. Sam reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet handing it to Cas. 

"Okay Cas you're gonna need to get us a double since I doubt either of these young ladies are gonna want to let Luci out of their sight."

"Damn right." Erin says with a grin warming up slightly to the guy.

"We're all gonna hang back while you get the room then I'll sneak Luci in as if he were drunk and sleeping off a bender. No one will look close enough to question it, had to do it often enough after coming off a hunt." Castiel nods gravely as if he were accepting a difficult quest. 

Sam bends back over Luci and carefully scoops him into his arms bridal style. He feels light, too light. Sam hadn't noticed before how the clothes hang off of Lucifer. Loose, like he's lost a lot of weight from living on the streets? Sam pulls the man closer to him in a futile desire to protect him from what has already passed. His lips brush the sleeping man's forehead in silent promise. 

They all follow Gaile as she leads them to the nearest seedy hotel which thankfully isn't very far. Silence falls over them as they wait for Cas to get the rooms. The girls keep stealing looks at how Sam is holding onto Luci comfortable as if it were familiar. They share loaded looks wondering about the history between the two men. 

They know of Sam from Luci's frequent nightmares where he'd call out his name as if he were in trouble. Luci never spoke of him directly but there was always an air around their mysterious protector that he was longing for something long lost. 

Everyone on the streets has lost and its an unspoken rule to never push someone to talk about it if they don't want to so they never pushed Luci. After this though? Oh yeah they're having a nice long heart to heart.

A few minutes later Cas reappears with keys to the room and they find themselves in the room. Erin and Gail stand awkwardly as far away from the beds as possible, near the door and easy escape. Despite promising to trust them this far. . .entering a hotel with two strange men is a bit much. 

Sam walks confidently forward and gently lowers Luci onto the bed. He takes care to rearrange the blankets to cover the man and even goes so far as to lift Luci's head and fluff the pillow up. 

How is this guy even real? Erin thinks to herself subtly relaxing her stance at the show of care. Sam stays leaning over the bed brushing Luci's dirty hair out of his face for far longer than he needs to. Erin clears her throat awkwardly feeling like she's intruding but needing answers.

Sam looks up at her with an awkward embarrassed look at having been caught. 

"Sorry right, of course." He tears himself away from Lucifer with one last look at his sleeping face before stepping away and moving to the neutral area of the couch. He sits down heavily suddenly weary from the ordeal. Castiel takes his social queue and joins him on the couch as to appear less threatening to the young girls. He sits stiff backed still unused to the human custom of slouching against the couch, which leads him to be the first to spring up to action when a pained cry comes from the occupied bed.

Castiel is the first to Lucifer's side as he thrashes on the bed and wounds that Castiel had previously healed reopen. Blood bubbles up from between Lucifer's lips as Castiel touches his head to use his other worldly senses to see what has happened. His angelic powers are almost spent but be musters the briefest flare of healing light but it does nothing. 

It doesn't make any sense, it is as if Castiel had never healed Lucifer. His body feels broken in the same ways as when they first found him lying in his own cooling blood on the pavement. 

Sam is two steps behind Castiel in getting to Lucifer but to Castiel's angelic perception of time while looking inside Lucifer if plays out in slow mo. Castiel feels Lucifer's vitals strengthening as Sam's large hand gets closer and closer. Curious, but as Sam's hand makes contact with Lucifer's face Castiel's senses are filled with white light.

The younger angel pulls back blinking away the light only visible on another spectrum. The change is night and day in Lucifer, he stops thrashing and falls back boneless a top the disheveled bed. His breathing returns to normal and his ashen skin slowly regains its parlor. 

"What the hell was that Cas?" Sam asks worried not daring to look away from Lucifer's once again peaceful face.

"I do not know." Castiel re-examines the pair before him. Re-thinks all that he knows of the bound between angel and man. What it really means when angel and man are compatible in terms of vessels. Never before in history has an angel with great compatibility not used his vessel, as well, a vessel and been hurt. 

Could it mean that the vessel's power is not limited to just simply being a host to a heavenly body? Could our lord have made us to work together? Was this what he had intended for his children? Or perhaps this is nothing more than an unforeseen side effect? Castiel has no answers, this has no precedence.

"I thought you said he was okay?!" Gaile demands angrily from the foot the the bed where she holds onto Luci's foot with one hand the other gripping Erin's hand painfully tight. "And what the hell was that light?!"

"I believe you would say the feline is out of the bag." Castiel admits to Sam with a serious face.

"Just what the hell is going on here?" Erin demands and Sam's shoulders slump slightly in defeat.

"So we're not who you think we are. No, nothing bad relax." Erin closes her mouth back up as she waits for him to finish. "I'm, well. Luci is. He's an angel, or was. I'm not sure how it works right now." Twin bewildered looks greet him.

"Well you see Luci is an angel, like Cas." Sam motions to Castiel who bows his head in acknowledgement. "But there was a, a battle. A war against a very powerful being and Luci was hurt. I-I thought he was, we thought he had died fighting." Sam bites his lip as he figures how to put it all in words. "He was lost to us, but I had been getting this, I don't know, this feeling that he was still out there."

"So. . .you're telling me you're all angels? Really?" Erin has heard a lot of bullshit from drugged out crazies on the street, but this? That's something else.

"Well, no. I'm not. I'm just." Sam pulls at his long bangs with his free hand in frustration. "I guess I'm uh shit this is going to sound stupid. But, I'm his soulmate? I guess that's how I'd put it." Erin turns to look at the man-no angel? in the trench coat looking to see if the crazy is catching.

"That would not be an entirely inaccurate statement. Luci. . ." Castiel stumbles on the name like Sam had earlier. If these guys are angels it would make sense they'd have weird bible names. Maybe if they all aren't tripping and actually telling the truth Luci's real name is something close to what he had introduced himself as. "is bonded to Sam, his true vessel. While all angels have vessels, those humans we are compatible with, he alone was granted a deeper bond than any other with Sam."

"I know it sounds crazy but it's true." Sam interjects before either of the girls start. "You wanted the truth, well we can't really sugar coat it now that you've seen Cas use his power and who knows how he is going to heal." Sam offers them a twist of his lips that fall far from a smile.

"Due to their unique. . .situation we do not know how exactly the bond will affect his healing." Castiel states before placing a hand upon both Sam and Lucifer's heads and closing his eyes.

"What is he doing?" Gaile whispers, Castiel reopens his eyes and looks into hers. She can see an unnatural white light gleaming with power in his eyes.

"I am examining them on another plane of existence where the soul resides. It appears that Lucifer has become entirely human, how this could happen I am uncertain, but it appears that Sam's soul is loaning out power to heal his bonded." 

"That makes sense actually." Sam says as he pulls Lucifer's hand to rest over his soul in hopes he can somehow take more. "Before we fought Amara he touched my soul and got a sort of super charge from it, so its not that different." 

"Do you actually believe any of this?" Erin whispers into Gaile's hair causing the shorter girl to turn towards her. 

"I don't know, I don't know. But. But if Luci gets better I don't care what kind of crazy these guys are." Gaile squeezes herself against Erin leaning her head a top her shoulder.

"Okay we'll believe you for now, but he doesn't leave our sight got it?" Erin's false bravo falls short to even her own ears but both men respect her words. "We'll get the real answers once he wakes up anyway."

"Of course." Castiel agrees as if he's taking a vow. What a weirdo. . .unless he really is an angel. Erin shakes the thought from her head. It's just too much to take right now, she'll deal with that when they get to it. "Sam, it appears the energy transfer works best through proximity, perhaps it would be best if you don't leave his side until he awakens."

Sam carefully re-positions Lucifer so there is room from him to crawl in next to the sleeping man. He is careful to keep at least one hand on Lucifer's skin the entire time as he positions himself to be lying on his side next to Lucifer. He holds Lucifer's hand between their bodies and places his other against Lucifer's chest. He curls in his larger body around Lucifer's smaller frame increasing the contact between their bodies.

Tension slowly bleeds out of the room as they watch Lucifer's chest rise and fall with each breath. Sam blows out a breath he had been holding and lets his head fall to rest in the nook between Lucifer's shoulder and head. Castiel nods to the girls and removes himself from the room to properly slump into the couch for the first time. That last bit of wasted healing had all but bottomed out his reserves, he desperately needs time to rest.

He turns on the small t.v. and normal sounds fill the air for the first time since they got here breaking the tension completely. Gaile pulls Erin over towards the other bed and sits down. Erin follows her girlfriend's lead robotically still reeling from the insane day they've had.

The morning had started off so nicely, Gaile was able to con a guy into giving her a decent meal to bring home for the rest of them. It had been a few days since they had shared a hot meal together as a family of misfits. Luci was in one of his more rare positive moods, the nightmares must have let him be last night. They laughed at his usual speech about how today was the day they'd take over, be the ones on top for a change. Erin knows he must have been on top of the world at one point for him to say such things and really mean them, he always had an easy confidence about him.

Even when he first stumbled into their group near six months ago half starved and confused about the streets he somehow always maintained a spark of confidence that his circumstances were only temporary. That one day he'd get off the streets, and over the months he extended that confidence to their rag tag group of kids.

That was when Erin really started to care for Luci. He wasn't all talk, he actually did good getting Billy set up with a long lost aunt after his parents passed and he ended up on the streets failed by the system that had given him abusive foster parents. 

One by one their family grew smaller, until just the three of them remained. Both of their families were lost causes, and they were already 16 and 17 respectfully so the system didn't care one bit about them. For a few months it was just the three of them, the last of the unwanted by society, but to each other? They were each other's whole world. Erin and Gaile had been together for years secretly behind their parents' backs until they were caught and disowned, but in this family they were free to show their love for one another. Luci never batted an eye not mentioned it.

Looking at how Sam has acted around Luci all this time its no wonder. Soulmates. Jesus. 

Gaile runs her fingers through Erin's hair distracting her from her thoughts for a moment as she relaxes into the touch. Luci never liked being touched, not even a hug after a rough few days. Gaile always felt terrible for him, but her heart warms seeing how freely Sam touches Luci. He won't have to be alone anymore.

The two girls sit together propped up against the wall holding each other lost in thought as the hours pass. It's not until Sam lifts his head and looks over at them and asks a question that they realize how much time has passed.

"So," Sam says roughly before clearing his throat after such a long time without uttering a word, "So you know me? Like my name at least?' Sam prompts, "Did he- Did he talk about me?"

"Not in so may words" Gaile hedges, "but he, he had a lot of nightmare you know?" She asks expecting him to know that but he seems surprised by it. "Well he'd, god this is embarrassing, but he'd call out for you. No, ew no not like that. But like you were in trouble and he was trying to get to you, or sometimes like he'd say how sorry he was." 

Sam looks down sadly at the man in his arm. He didn't know, didn't even think that Lucifer would have nightmares. Of course he would, who wouldn't? Sam still gets them several times a week from his time in the cage and just from his fucked up life in general. What would millennia do to a new mortal man?

"Our relationship has been. . .as complicated as it gets, but uh, but before. Before I lost him we were working on it, I thought maybe, maybe it could become something good." Sam coughs awkwardly, "That's good to know, that uh he was still thinking of me." His cheeks have a faint coloring of pink growing.

"Star crossed lovers that are soulmates, oh and on top of that one's an angel? Doesn't seem that complicated to me." Erin deadpans with an unimpressed tone that only a teenage girl can master surprising a laugh out of Sam. "I mean I'm in an interracial gay relationship with my best friend, oh and her mom called me the devil tempting her daughter from God. You're not that special."

"Don't forget that apparently we've been hanging out with an angel who is perfectly fine with stealing and coning people out of their money." Gaile adds with a giggle sending Erin into a small laughing fit just this side of hysterical. 

"Well when you put it that way." Sam shrugs his shoulder and throwing them a beautiful smile. 

After that they fall silent again, but a peaceful one instead of tense. Erin is the first to be lulled to sleep, she would later blame it on the fact that it had been ages since she's slept in a real bed instead of on a dingy mattress they had found and taken off the streets. Gaile isn't far behind her girlfriend.

Castiel, of course, does not sleep. Angels don't sleep, but he does the approximation of it. He turns his consciousness inward as his grace recovers from the overly taxing day. 

That just leaves Sam alone awake in the hotel room. He spends long minutes that drag into hours watching Lucifer sleep and thinking. Counting his blessings that he even gets the opportunity to contemplate his future with Lucifer. 

Human. That, that changes things. Lucifer is mortal now, how will that change things between them? Will it change anything? It doesn't change anything on Sam's end. He didn't fall for an angel, he fell for the person who fought against all odds in the end to be good. For Sam, at least at first.

Sam looks over at the sleeping girls whom obviously care greatly for Lucifer. They couldn't feel that way if he wasn't good to them. It seems that Sam's promise to keep Lucifer on the side of light was not needed. Lucifer found the way all on his own. 

He shakes his head at the surprising turn of events. Who would have ever thought that The Devil would be living in filth watching over wayward daughters. Actually, now that Sam thinks about it he really shouldn't be surprised. They both are patrons of the Lost Causes. Sam smiles at the thought that even apart they managed to follow the same path. Made for each other indeed.

Sleep eventually pulls Sam into her warm embrace, the nightmares at bay with Lucifer tucked safely against him.


	17. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are reunited as equals

Lucifer wakes up feeling good. Really good considering his last memory was of bleeding out and hallucinating Sam's face before he died. He doesn't feel like he's dead. Those who die and go to heaven have no memory of their death, they instead live out their fantasies eternally never the wiser. Those who go to hell? Definitely wouldn't feel warm and safe. Purgatory? He'd be even worse off than with hell.

So he's not dead, but if he's not dead why does he feel so content? He blinks open his eyes and is greeted with darkness. He can feel the heat of a large body against his own, a weight on his chest and the loose grip of a hand within his own. A warm puff of air caresses his neck sending chills down his spine.

His eyes slowly adjust to the darkness and he can make out the shape of the man against him. His heart clenches within his chest, he'd know those broad shoulders anywhere. 

Could it really be Sam? Did he not hallucinate it all? Was Sam there arriving just in the nick of time like his white knight? 

"Typical" Lucifer mutters to himself, of course it would just be like a Winchester to show up a minute to midnight and somehow save the day despite all odds and logic. Lucifer raises his free hand not trapped within Sam's to brush a stray lock of brown hair out of Sam's face. His fingers linger on Sam's face, tracing his eyebrows in wonder.

"Oh Sam." Lucifer whispers fondly as the younger man curls into him subconsciously in his sleep. "Figures you'd be a big cuddly teddy bear." 

A ruffling sound draws his attention to the side and he notices for the first time that its not just Sam and him alone in the room. He spots another bed beside the one he's occupying with the sleeping octopus, there are two small forms snuggled together much they are. A blonde sleep tangled head pops up and quickly breaks out in a grin. 

"You asshole!" Erin says as she quickly shakes Gaile awake so they can both give him a piece of their minds for the scare.

"The one and only." Lucifer says with a smile glad to see his not-sacrifice wasn't in vain and that both the girls seem fine. Gaile sits up giving him a little wave, she was never one for mornings so it's par for the course for her to be non verbal for at least 10 minutes upon gracing the land of the waking with her presence. "Miss me?"

Erin throws a pillow hitting him in the face earning a laugh from her friend. 

"So when were you planning on telling us you're an angel hmm?" Erin asks with a slight drawl. 

"Former actually." Lucifer answers with a shrug, "I was too cool for that gig, they were cramping my style with the whole 'holier than thou' shtick."

"Well I could still rub it in Gaile's parent's faces that instead of going to hell we found our own dirty guardian angel." Erin says with a soft smile for her girlfriend. That argument still stings, that they would choose that over their own daughter, but as time passes it hurts less.

"You'd never go to hell, not if I have anything to say about it." Luci proclaims as if he held sway over such things. . .something about it niggles in Gaile's sleep clouded brain but she still isn't awake enough to think about it for long. "You two would make awful demons, trust me, I'd know. Well maybe Gaile would do okay if someone asked her to do math early in the morning." Lucifer teases earning a middle finger.

"So. . ." Erin starts, "We finally got to meet some of your friends from before." 

"I do not think I would use the term friends." Castiel interjects from the couch, "Work acquaintances, in our case at least, would be more fitting."

"So you're why I'm not the hottest corpse in the ally." Lucifer muses. "I didn't know you cared, getting real soft there buddy." Castiel's face scrunches up in distaste at Lucifer's assumption and teasing.

"I do care," Lucifer aww's from the bed, "But I am not solely responsible for your well being. I merely brought Sam to you, he did the rest."

Lucifer turns to look down at the still sleeping face of his vessel in awe. His mind races putting together the clues of what could have passed while he was out. He runs his hand across Sam's cheek as the man sleeps on dead to the world. Lucifer had assumed his father had recreated him as entirely human, that his connection to Sam would be no more. It was after all a bond between angel and man, but it seems his father was more kind than he gave him credit. 

"I see, well now that is a surprise, but a welcome one. I rather enjoy not being dead, real drag that. Zero out of 10, wouldn't recommend. Guess Dad wasn't being completely lazy when he brought me back. Woo." Lucifer deadpans. 

"I also found it strange that you were not a monster like those who had their souls' eaten by Amara, but if you share one with Sam that would change things." Twin looks of concern and confusion come from the other bed.

"Don't you two worry, auntie is taken care of. She's off playing house with the notorious G. O. D. Oh right might as well rip off the band-aid. God is real, he has a sister and no he doesn't give a shit about what most idiots on this planet think he does. He cares more about writing trashy romance novels than anything else to be honest. Yeah I know, big let down but God is actually a huge dork when you get passed the whole, 'The Lord' thing."

Castiel frowns disapprovingly but cannot dispute that God had an unusually high fascination with writing the Supernatural books. God almost never used his own hand in the fate of his creations, but took extra care with their rag tag bunch of would be heroes. 

"Well, that's, something I guess." Erin says lamely. "Good to know we don't fall far from the tree if even God is a weirdo." Gaile slaps her arm and whispers 'don't say that!'

"That's the spirit! He ain't listening anyway, so let the blasphemy flow through you. Ignore Castiel, he still hasn't fully removed the stick that all angels are born with up their tight holy asses." Castiel frowns, but Lucifer holds up a hand. "But don't let that get you down, you're way better than most our brother's and sisters."

Lucifer looks down in fond exasperation at Sam. "Its these damn Winchesters, despite all odds they some how manage to get under your skin. It's like a bad soap opera of 'oh I can change him!' but it actually works. You know what I'm saying right Castiel?

"I mean, just look at you man. Once you were one of the biggest tight assed yes men heaven has ever produced, and now look at you! Half way to fallen already over these infuriating brothers. Still think I got the better one but who am I to judge." Castiel squirms uncomfortably. 

"Not that I'm complaining or anything, its just weird man. I mean look at me? ME all mushy for this big lug of a man. Must be growing soft in my twilight years, that or its this mushy body affecting my judgement." He casts an apologetic look over to the girls, "Not that there is anything wrong with you two spit fire young ladies, its just, you know? The whole being a weak mortal stuck to only this dimension after eons of being a big shot."

"Oh Mr. Big Shot now are ya?" Erin asks with a raised eyebrow, "You think you can impress us now with how cool you were? I remember not once, but a few times you puked your guts out after getting a little sick. You ain't so tough." Lucifer's face falls.

"Aww man! You swore to never bring that up! I was weak and now you laugh at me? Never mind I lied, you've earned yourself a one way express ticket to hell for that." Lucifer shakes his head. "Think you know people, but you've changed."

A loud grumble from Gaile's stomach interrupts their banter and reminds the three of them how long its been since they've eaten. With all the chaos of yesterday its been nearly a whole day since any of them have eaten.

"What's a guy gotta do to get some grub around here?" Lucifer asks Castiel.

"Why would you want insect larva?" Castiel asks in confusion.

"All this time with humans and you still don't understand slang. That's sad man, really sad." Lucifer shakes his head at his weirdo of a brother. 

"I'll go check the fridge." Gaile announces and gets up to rummage through the fridge. "Looks like we got beer, more beer, and some left over pizza."

"Oooh, I love left over pizza. It's always better cold the day after." Erin says excitedly as she practically flies out of bed with the prospect of pizza.

"You're a damn savage, but beggars can't be choosers." Lucifer begins the process of prying himself out of Sam's sleeping grasp but Castiel stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

"We will bring you food. It would be unwise to leave Sam's side right now." Lucifer stops his movements and stares seriously into Castiel's eyes.

"Why?" He drags out the word immediately on the defensive.

"Sam left your side last night for only a few moments and all the healing was undone. We believe that you are some how siphoning energy directly from his soul and that distance has a. . .undesireable affect on you."

"Really? Huh, I guess that makes sense. But as much as I'd like to, and believe me I really would, we can't stay attached at the, ahem, hip all the time. A man's gotta have some private time." Lucifer looks down at Sam who has very uncharacteristically remained in deep sleep despite the loud conversations floating around him. 

The man was raised to be a hunter practically from birth, there is no way he'd have slept through this much noise. He would have been a very dead hunter if he did. No, that means that this sleep is unnatural. Perhaps Lucifer is drawing energy even now, or that Sam needs time to recover much like when Lucifer had touched his soul. Looks like he'll have to suffer the torture of Sam's warm body pressed against him at least until the man wakes up. 

How tragic.

Gaile, the saint, brings him two slices of cold pepperoni pizza. Silence falls around them, save the sounds of food being eaten too fast. Sam wiggles as the smell penetrates through the fog of sleep rousing him from his slumber. Its not uncommon for him to wake up to the smell of pizza, one of Dean's favorite morning foods. His eyes flutter open and he blinks in confusion not remembering where he had fallen asleep.

"Good morning tall, dark, and heroic." He can feel the deep rumble of the voice against his body, now that is not the norm. It's been ages since he had someone over for the night, been too busy flirting from one world ending problem to the next for the comforts of the flesh. His eyes focus on the face near his and he blinks as it all comes back to him in a rush.

"Hey." His voice is rough from sleep and earns a smirk from the blonde man looking down at him.

"Wow, if that's the sexy voice you greet me with in the morning I may as well have died and gone to heaven." Lucifer smirks at the blush his words bring out in the younger man. "Really though, nice minute to midnight save there. Seems I owe you my life, so here I am. Your overly willing slave for life." Lucifer only half jokes.

Sam clears his throat as he scoots up to a sitting position and rubs his free hand over his eyes. He is careful to not let go of the other which hold's Lucifer's hand beneath the blanket. 

"Hello Sam." Castiel greets from the kitchen bringing a pizza with him which he gives to Sam just as his stomach rumbles in hunger. "It appears that in our haste we forgot to feed you and your angry stomach."

"Thanks Cas." Sam says gratefully as he devours the offered slice at a speed that would make Dean proud. Once it's gone he feels the need for sleep over take him once again. His eyes are already beginning to slide closed once more despite only having been awake for less than a minute. 

The drain on his soul healing Lucifer was far more taxing than when he had given the angel a supercharge. Makes sense, he thinks to himself even as sleep is already taking hold. An arm pulls lightly guiding him to slump backward half atop Lucifer once more.

Lucifer yawns and rests his head back down on the pillow next to Sam's. Guess that answers the question of whether or not its safe to get up. It's not so bad, Lucifer thinks to himself, not like he's had the chance to sleep in such comfortable conditions ever. 

"Think I'll just nap for a bit," Lucifer tells the room. "I'm sure our own personal room service angel would be more than happy to do what ever you want. He's always had a big soft spot for humans." 

There is a chorus of agreement from the girls and one perpetually grumpy angel. Lucifer retakes Sam's free hand placing it once more over his heart and gives it a squeeze before his eyes fall closed and he joins Sam in sleep.

 

**************

"Did you like the little dream world I made up for you?" The manifestation of the Cage asks shocking Lucifer out of his dream. 

'This can't be happening! No no no! I was out! I remember it!' Lucifer shakes his head in denial, 'It was real! I know it was. It had to be.' The possibility of being back in the cage is unthinkable. 

"Aww you didn't really think you got out did you? I know I went a little overboard with Amara, can't believe you actually bought that she would some how get out after good old Dad locked her away so well." The impostor's laugh is full of cruelty. "You have so many titles seems we have to add 'Fool' to the list."

Lucifer is back in the cage, chained up like a dog on his knees before his doppelganger. His own face stares down at him with a feral grin and a gleam in his inhuman eyes that promises suffering. Lucifer's body quakes with muscle failure and anticipation. He doesn't know what it will be this time, but he knows it will be bad. 

It always is, but the waiting is worse. Not knowing what will happen, the fear of the unknown is a cold pit in his stomach. He doesn't know where Sam is right now, what's happening to him. He hates watching his own hands bring such suffering to his vessel, but the not knowing is worse. 

What if there is more than one doppelganger? What if Sam is hurting now? The least Lucifer can do for his true vessel is stand witness, to see Sam and be with him in spirit. He should never be alone, he isn't, not while Lucifer still draws breath. He will always come for Sam, no matter the cost, the distance. He will come for him, and he will devote everything to making this right. Whatever it takes.

But if everything really was a dream what hope is there for them? He has already seen first hand the failure of Castiel's attempted rescue. Sam is already well on the way to madness, Lucifer can see the sanity dying bit by bit everyday they spend at the mercy of the cage. Once Sam is well and truly gone Lucifer knows he won't be far behind his vessel in the spiral of insanity.

A flash of brilliant light fills his vision breaking his cycling thoughts of hopelessness. He knows that light intimately. The joy and pride that fills Lucifer at seeing the beauty of Sam's soul will never get old. For a moment he loses himself looking into the warm light that is Sam forgetting where they are. A shriek of pained rage next to him brings him back to where they are.

Lucifer drags his eyes away from Sam and watches as the doppelganger's skin alights with flame. The false angel burns away in the in light of Sam's purity. It burns until it is not but ash that quickly blows away.

"Lucifer" Sam's voice calls to him next to his ear, "Lucifer." Again the phantom voice calls from the empty air beside Lucifer. An unseen hand grips his own and squeezes.

"Sam!" Lucifer wakes with a start heart pounding within his chest. 

"It's okay, I'm here. It was just a dream." Sam says softly in his ear in a soothing tone one would take with a child, or a lover. "I've got you." Lucifer pants in a few breaths willing his heart to calm the hell down. Sam's fingers slide against his own grounding him and sending tingles of pleasure through him. 

"Do you want to talk about?" Sam asks, "It, sometimes it helps to talk about it. Makes it less real when you say it out loud." 

Lucifer remains silent and Sam doesn't press, he just holds on to him chasing away the chill of the nightmare with the warmth of his embrace. 

"It was the cage." Lucifer surprises himself when he speaks. "It's always the cage. We never made it out. An eternity spent watching you suffer, watching you die over and over again. Watching you be brought back, selfishly glad-glad I'm not alone. That you are there, but. But, it would have been far kinder to you, to the both of us if you had just stayed dead." 

Lucifer turns his head away from Sam, ashamed of what he has admitted. Sam doesn't allow him to wallow in it turning Lucifer's face to him again. He tilts Lucifer's head up forcing the once angel to look at his once vessel.

What he sees is not recrimination, damnation, nor disgust. Sam's eyes are full of understanding and forgiveness. 

"I forgive you, you gotta know that. It wasn't you. I know that now, have for a long time now. Nothing that went down there was your fault, and I don't blame you for wishing I was dead. Hell, I wished I was dead-but I'm not.

"Sure it sucked, it really, really sucked. But here's the thing, we got out." Sam grabs Lucifer's hand bringing it to his cheek. "We beat the cage, sure we have more than our share of baggage, but who doesn't? And it's like what they say, that which kills you over and over makes you stronger." Lucifer hiccups out a laugh at that.

"We survived it together, and now we have the rest of our lives to figure out this thing between us. I don't know, but I'm okay with that. With what we had to go through to get where we are now. I mean God! You're my honest to God soul mate. That's a thing! Who wouldn't go through hell for something special like that?"

"You are worth everything Sam. My everything, which right now amounts to some ratty clothes, two spit fire good for nothings and a whole hell of a lot of issues." Lucifer manages to joke back with a weak smile.

"A match made in Hell." Lucifer grins at the amazing man, truly the pinnacle of the indomitable human spirit his father had always raved to the heaven about. 

They stare at one another smiling like teenagers under the spell of a first romance. The one and only romance for Lucifer and he wouldn't have it any other way. He has waited for a very, very long time for Sam, and now that they are both here every moment feels precious. 

For the first time there isn't an Apocalypse on the horizon, there isn't anyone asking the impossible from either of them. For once they are on a more equal footing in terms of power. No more power plays from Lucifer. Shit, now Sam seems to hold the power over his life now! All he would have had to do is let go of his hand, he literally has his life in his hands.

And what does he do with it? Holds on tightly that's what! He could have done anything, but he goes looking for me anyway. Even after how terribly I had treated him when I held the power. It's fitting that now Sam holds the power, perhaps this is the only way anything could ever work between them.

Lucifer had burned his vessel, had he retained his powers it's doubtful Sam would ever fully let his guard down around him. There is no way they could have managed to make any sort of deep relationship last between them without dropping their guards. 

"You know, when I first woke up and discovered my new found place amongst you mortals I was furious. I felt father had wronged me one last time before gallivanting across the universe with auntie. I won't lie, the struggle the last few months was almost too much at times. Having to worry about food and shelter? Living in the grime and feeling disgusting grim all over my body with every waking moment? Not a fan.

"But Sam, it was all worth it. For you. I realize now what a gift this is to me. To us. You can't deny that if I were still an angel you wouldn't have a niggling doubt, a worry of Apocalypse 2.0 tickling the back of your mind. No matter our connection the hunter in you would be on guard.

"But like this? I am at the mercy of the world, not the other way around. I loath to admit that Dad was right, but this is the only way for us and- and I would gladly pay it. I could never have made this choice on my own, I didn't realize before what the difference in power would do to us. Would always do to us because of my deeply regretted actions in the past.

"I can never apologize for that enough, no stop I know you don't need to hear it but maybe I need to say it again. And again, until maybe one day I won't feel the need. If you'll give me the chance to prove to you of course."

"You already have." Sam puts a finger against Lucifer's lips silencing the denial. "You could have just gone the evil route and saved your own ass at the expense of others, but you didn't! Instead I find you've been leading a rag tag group of kids? That's amazing, it shows how much you've grown. 

"It is undeniable proof that you didn't lie to me, to yourself about what you would do. You chose to do good without any benefit, without someone to trick onto your good side. You nearly-" Sam takes a deep breath, "You did die. For those two girls." Sam goes quiet for a long moment his eyes filling with emotion.

"You've changed all on your own, didn't even need me as your guiding light or whatever. That was all on you. The good I saw inside you, it shined through. The Morning Star in all his glory bleeding out in a dark ally with no witness all for two girls society wouldn't even miss. Not many so called good people would make that choice, and yet you did."

Lucifer's heart strains in his chest, swelling with emotion too complex to be named. He blinks back tears as they fall, another one of those weird human quirks. He has never been so happy, nor relieved and yet here he is crying. Humans are so backwards.

"Thank you." Lucifer whispers against Sam's lips as he leans in stopping a breath away. Sam leans in the final distance bringing their lips together. His chapped lips press against Sam's soft ones gently. His eyes fall closed as he focuses on the feeling. A barely there touch, so tentative it sends a renewed aching within Lucifer's chest. 

He's not sure he should be allowed this, but then Sam brushes his lips against his own and he would be a fool to not take what is offered. Sam, the sneaky devil, brushes his thumb along the bottom of Lucifer's lip surprising him into opening his mouth. An opportunity Sam is quick to take advantage of.

A moan works it's way out of Lucifer's throat at the sensation of Sam's tongue against his open lips. That deft tongue teases Lucifer to open wider granting him access. Lucifer, never one to sit back, raises his own tongue to meet Sam's and is rewarded with a sharp inhale from the man. 

They dance together slowly, savoring the new experience. Lucifer isn't afraid to admit he's overwhelmed by the sensation, the intimacy of their first real kiss. Without the distraction of inter-dimensional senses he can feel every slide of Sam's tongue against his own, the gentle touch of Sam's hands on his face and his own gripping Sam's shoulders. 

Nothing could be more intimate than when he touched Sam's beautiful soul, but if he never again can know that pleasure, this is a close second. A pleasure that he could see himself quickly growing addicted to. 

It feels like hours later, but couldn't be more than a few minutes before Sam slowly pulls back. Lucifer reopens his eyes and stares up at Sam's hazel in wonder. Sam grins and leans down for another slow press of lips against his own before pulling back again.

"Wow you look, damn. Good?" Sam asks with a shit eating grin as if he doesn't know he just rocked the angel's world.

"A+. Wait what is better than A? S? Triple S, Sam Super Sexy. I don't know, you get your own category." Sam laughs bashfully at Lucifer's eager praise. "I'm sure given enough practice we could improve upon it though. New Olympic sport!" 

A laugh from the living room makes the muscles in Sam's shoulder's jump beneath Lucifer's hands. They turn as one to look at Erin and Gaile as Erin tries to cover he laugh as a cough and fails miserably.

"Oops." Sam says sheepishly. He had forgotten he wasn't alone with Lucifer.

"Alright can it peanut gallery, you'd think you've never seen two consenting adults make out before. Geez." Lucifer admonishes them. 

"So, how long have you all been here?" Sam asks awkwardly.

"Too long, I think I know understand the human wish for bleaching one's eyes." Castiel answers without meeting Sam's eyes. 

Lucifer flicks his eyes to Erin and Gaile calculating what all they would be able to figure out from his and Sam's very personal conversation and doesn't like the answer. Sam and Castiel had been very careful with how they referred to him, what they mentioned so his true identity would remain hidden. 

"So. . ." Lucifer starts, "I won't insult either of your intelligence by pretending. The cat's out of the bag." Lucifer draws himself up, he won't be taking this lying down. Literally. 

"You're Lucifer." Gaile starts, "Like THE Lucifer?"

"Yuuup."

"I knew something was strange with the name Luci, I mean who would name a guy that?" Erin states. "Cas is short of Castiel, so even without Sam calling you by your real name I would have figured it out eventually." Gaile adds evenly.

"I'll understand if you're upset, I wasn't really trying to hide it. It's just that now that I'm one of you. A human I didn't think it really mattered." Lucifer starts explaining.

"It doesn't. It doesn't matter." Gaile tells him surprising them all with her calm tone. "I've been on the streets for a long time now and seen people from all walks, doesn't matter who you WERE. It's who you are now."

"You aren't that guy anymore, you're the kind of guy to give the bigger portion of food to a kid. That's who you are now. That's all that matters to me." Erin backs up Gaile's words with her own sending warm fuzzies down into the cold pit Lucifer's stomach had turned into. 

"Not that it isn't a huge mind fuck to think about. I mean, really? Really?! I watched The Devil Himself help a little boy find a loving home. Now that is some hallmark movie shit right there." Erin says with a shake of her head. "What even is life."

"You two are taking this surprisingly well." Castiel remarks, surprised at their nonchalance at the accidental revelation. 

"Well when you grow up being told a core part of you is evil when you know it isn't in your heart you start to question what morality even means." Gaile says quietly, growing up lesbian in a strict Catholic household had been rough. 

"I was though." Lucifer admits, not wanting to paint a false picture. "I did evil, horrible things. Things I regret everyday. But it doesn't change the fact that I did them."

"The fact that you regret them does change things though." Sam argues for Lucifer and gets two nods from the girls. 

"Even I have to agree with that observation." Castiel adds his two cents, "We have all done much which was wrong, but we strive to make up for our past mistakes. Once I thought the world only black and white, but it is all grays. Life, real life, is dirty. Such is free will."

"Wow Castiel, that was beautiful, no really. You've grown so much, it does my black bitter heart a lot of good to see a fellow brother see the truth of the world." Lucifer means his words, it was always so sad to watch his brethren go about existence with the blinders of devotion on. If their own creator was capable of both acts of kindness and fury it was obvious that existence could not be so simple as good and bad. As right and wrong. He was shunned and cast out for his clear sight, no one wants the ugly truth of the world.

Lucifer feels for Castiel, he knows well that heaven despises his fellow angel. Next to Lucifer Castiel is public enemy number two. That's gotta be rough, thankfully he has had the support of the Winchesters so his brief slide too far into the dark remained brief.

 

The rest of the day goes by in a blur for Lucifer. There is a brief time of excitement when Lucifer's bladder demands a test of whether or not its safe for him to be away from Sam. Luckily for his desire to have some mystery in their budding relationship its safe and he doesn't have to suffer the humiliation of urinating in front of Sam. 

Plans are hatched around him for the girls, Sam makes a call for Jody to come pick them up. Lucifer trust's Sam's judgement of the cop-turned-hunter and the girls trust his. The former angel finds himself mentally and emotionally exhausted from the day of revelations and falls asleep alone in the bed early while the others stay up discussing future plans. He briefly half wakes when the bed dips under Sam's weight as he crawls in next to the sleeping angel. He feels warm lips press against his forehead briefly before he slips back into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Balls! This chapter turned into a monster, I don't even know. Having to cut the chapter up, don't need no 10K+ chapters lol.
> 
> Also how did I get to 50k words before a real first kiss? xD


	18. Change of Ranks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donna arrives to pick up the girls and the boys get on the road back home to the bunker.

After Lucifer had went to sleep the girls questioned Sam more in depth about the place they were going to stay at and who they would all live with. Sam told tales of Jody's exploits, about how she had been bad ass enough to save their asses more than a time or two. Gaile was happy to learn that there was no pressure to join their weird life of monsters, after all Jody had taken in Alex from a den of vampires(really???) and helped her go to school to become a nurse.

Erin asks if their relationship would be an issue and Sam just laughs.

"No, definitely not. Jody doesn't give a crap about that, hell we're all pretty sure Claire likes the fairer sex. I doubt Claire even realizes it herself, Jody has been worried that she might not even realize it's an option. I'm sure having you two around would be a big bonus in her book."

Slowly their reservations drop off one by one the more they talk to Sam and excitement grows in its place. A home full of nothing but bad ass women? Yes please! Erin smiles more and more as the day wears on and even the more reserved Gaile is beginning to show real hope for their future again.

"Shit." Sam stops suddenly looking at his ringing phone. Dean's angry smolder stares back at him. "I forgot to check in yesterday. He's gonna kill me." Cas gives him an understanding look that clearly states he's in agreement with Dean's reaction. Sam clicks call reject then turns to the girls.

"I'm gonna go take a walk and go grab the impala while Dean rips me a new one. I'll pick you guys up some new clothes so you can change on my way back."

"Oh my god! A Shower?! How come I didn't think of this sooner? We can shower! Gaile, we can shower in hot water omg lets go right now!" Erin yells grabbing her girlfriend's arm and half dragging her towards the bathroom. The thought of being clean again distracts her from anything thing else Sam said when he mentioned clothes. 

Gaile absently tells Sam their sizes over her shoulder before both girls disappear into the bathroom.

Sam huffs out a laugh at their antics glad for the brief respite before he calls back Dean. Sam waves goodbye to Cas as he opens the door and gets a sympathetic look back. This conversation is going to be fun.

Sam pulls out his phone and dials Dean back who picks up on the first ring.

"What happened to checking in everyday no matter what?" Dean demands without even saying hello just like Sam predicted he would.

"Well, its been a crazy day and a half, I'm not making a excuse. Its just-honestly I forgot Dean." Dean's silence is heavy on the other end. 

"And what could have been so damn exciting that you couldn't spare two minutes to call me?"

"Well, that's kind of a long story-"

"Then you better get talking." Dean interrupts.

"So, well you know how I went out on this hunting trip right? Well it was more than that, I was chasing a feeling."

". . .A feeling." Dean's voice is laced with mock disgust.

"Yeah, I felt like, ever since Lucifer. That he wasn't really dead. I just had this pull in my chest that I felt would lead to him. And uh, uh it did. I found him Dean."

"What?!" Dean yells into the phone making Sam flinch away from the speaker. "And you've been hiding this from me? It was all a lie, the hunting?"

"No! Of course not. I wasn't trying to hide it, I just couldn't be sure it wasn't all just wishful thinking. I didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to hear you shoot it down. If I talked about it I was afraid the feeling would go away and I'd have to face reality, and I wasn't ready."

"Did Cas know?" Dean demands ignoring Sam's excuses.

"No, I didn't tell him either. At least, not until the day before we found him. You know he would have told you if he had known, but I kept it to myself."

"That's just great Sam! The Devil is back and you've-"

"He isn't." Sam interrupts. 

"He isn't what?!" 

"He isn't the Devil."

"God damn it Sam! This isn't time for your fairy tale bullshit of 'he's changed' man!"

"No, he really has. He's not the Devil anymore. He's human." A beat then another of silence.

"What the hell do you mean he's human?"

"I don't know but remember when God said he couldn't recreate an arch angel, that it'd take too much I don;t know, God mojo? Well when he brought back Lucifer he brought him back mortal. He's not an angel, let alone an arch angel anymore."

"Huh." Dean huffs into the phone as he processes.

"When I, when I had a vision of him he was dying Dean. He's no more dangerous than anyone on the street now."

"You're having visions again? You're sure its not just a trick from him again like he pulled to get you in the cage with him again?"

"Dead certain. Cas checked and he's doesn't have even an ounce of grace in him, he's normal except for our connection. I don't know I guess the vessel, soulmate bond thing lasted through even his recreation. It's why I could feel him, why I could save him."

"Keep talking." Dean says voice flat knowing his younger brother has more to tell.

"Um, right. So we share a soul now? I guess that's why God was able to bring him back, but yeah. Uh when he was dying I healed him, Cas couldn't do anything for him. So what I'm saying is you don't have anything to worry about, he'd be dead without me. Almost was if Cas hadn't angel'd us there."

"Okay so you saved him, what the hell stopped you from calling then?"

". . .Yes, well, our connection? It healed him through proximity, and when I left his side for just a minute he seized and got worse so I had to stay in contact the whole night, and well. It wiped me out man, I ended up crashing like after that time he touched my soul but worse. I was out for the whole night and half the next day.

"But things are stable now, I'm going to go grab the impala then we'll head back to the bunker."

"You left Baby alone for nearly two days?!" Dean explodes in worry over the impala.

"It was kind of an emergency Dean. Literally life or death. Anyway, there's more."

"Of course there is." Sam can hear the fizz of a can of beer being opened on the other side of the line.

"Well, Lucifer was living on the streets with some kids. He was taking care of them I guess, but I called Jody and she's gonna pick up the two girls. So yeah he really has changed Dean. I know you don't want to hear it but it's true. He's not the big baddy anymore. He could have gone to crime and murder but instead he chose to help out some kids."

"I'll believe that when I see it." Dean mutters, "Well get your ass home. Mom's gone."

"What?! What happened?" Sam asks concerned. 

"Well, she said she wanted to see the world how it is now own her own. I think having me around was getting to be too much for her, I don't know. I can't blame Mom, I'd have to see how things changed on my own too." Dean sighs into the phone.

"I'm sorry Dean." 

"Yeah it's whatever. Just get baby back to me, I'm going stir crazy on my own here. Think I need to get out and gank some monsters to get my head on straight." 

"Alright, we'll be home in the morning after Jody comes to get the girls."

Sam has to say the conversation went better than he expected once the call ends. He knows he'll get more of an ear full once they are face to face. Dean was never one for ripping someone a new one on the phone. Somethings are just better up close and personal. 

Its only a few more minutes until he's back to the impala which luckily for his own hide is untouched and as perfect as he had left it. Sam gets in and drives to the nearest store and grabs a random assortment of clothes for the girls. As almost an after thought he grabs a few t shirts, jeans and boxers for Lucifer. His clothes were falling apart, and quite frankly smelled awful.

He has to guess on sizes for the once angel, but thinks he does an okay job of it, pays and leaves. The drive back to the motel is uneventful and much shorter than the walk had been. When he enters the hotel he spies the girls wearing towels still, no doubt they were unwilling to put back on the dirty clothes they had been wearing.

They make grabby hands and he tosses them each a bag that they tear into excitedly. They don't comment on his probably unfashionable choices and make haste to the bathroom to get dressed.

"How did Dean take it?" Castiel asks Sam once they are out of ear shot.

"Could have been worse, sure I'll hear more of it later. You know how Dean likes to stew in it for a while so he can really explode on you later." Castiel nods knowingly, having been on the receiving end more than he'd have liked.

"How do you feel with changing ranks with hunting?" Sam asks, "I guess Mom left to go find herself and Dean will need someone to watch his back." Sam leaves it unsaid that'd he would be busy dealing with Lucifer. 

"It would be good to go hunting with Dean again." Castiel pronounces, he had missed Dean while Lucifer had control and more so when he had left with Sam. It has been a long time since he had truly spent time with Dean, what with his mother miraculously coming back.

"Great. So we'll leave in the morning after Jody gets here." Castiel nods at the wise decision. Sam checks his phone and sees a text from Jody saying she had to help out a hunter in need and that Donna would be coming to pick up the girls in her stead. Sam texts back then texts Donna for confirmation.

He is delighted to learn that the two most wonderful, powerful women he knows have joined forces. It's too bad about Donna's boyfriend, but the life is hard and at least she'll have a house full of caring people to keep her mind off of the break up. 

Sam informs Gaile and Erin about the change in plans when they emerge from the bathroom, and tells them they are just going to love Donna when they meet her. It's impossible not to fall a little in love with the bubbly, kind Donna on contact. The way she speaks might mislead someone into thinking she's a softy, but when push comes to shove there aren't many people Sam would like to have his back more than her.

They all talk for a few more hours until the girls call it a night wanting to be well rested for meeting someone new in the morning. Sam goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and notices for the first time how awful he looks. Oh god no wonder people were looking at him strangely when he was shopping.

Lucifer's blood stains his clothes in spots, and even has some in his hair from when Lucifer had held on to him. He's lucky no one called the police, especially since he was buying clothes for girls. Sam scrubs his hands over his face, a rookie hunting mistake to not clean up before going out. He really needs to get his head on straight. 

He grabs a change of clothes from his bag then gets in the shower himself. The water washes away the dirt and blood as he scrubs himself clean. He bends his head under the stream of hot water basking in the warmth for a few minutes as his head clears and he stops to think about what tomorrow will hold for him. 

Lucifer is still sound asleep in the bed when Sam gets out and he stops for a moment just to look at the man in the bed. He's filthy, too skinny and obviously hasn't been sleeping well. He looks like a wreck, someone down on their luck and at the end of their rope.

Sam finds himself drawn to the man despite, or maybe because of Lucifer's circumstances. He vows silently to take care of the man and give him a good chance at life this time around. Just look at what he had accomplished with nothing, imagine the good he could do if he had a hand up?

Maybe what Lucifer had said about helping Sam go on hunts wasn't just an offhand idea, maybe that is something Lucifer really could do. He has the knowledge a hunter would kill for, and his heart seems to be in the right place. 

Or maybe he could just live a simple life. Sam doesn't want to get a head of himself making plans for the sleeping man, doesn't want to get his hopes up for something that may not come to pass. 

No, it's better to take it one day at a time and just get him on his feet and then see where they'll go. Sam crawls into the bed and places a gentle kiss on Lucifer's forehead before tucking himself against Lucifer's side. Sleep comes easily and quickly for the young man.

 

********

 

Lucifer awakens before Sam with a yawn. He turns to look at Sam and notices how much better Sam looks now that he isn't crusty with Lucifer's blood. Lucifer blinks at the thought, then blinks again.

Oh.

I need a shower badly. He thinks once he realizes what he must look and smell like since he hasn't had a shower, you know ever. Lucifer crinkles his nose up in disgust at himself, he had never liked being dirty and yet he's all but wallowed in it since becoming mortal.

Fuck that noise. He thinks to himself as he gets out of the bed fast, but careful to not wake Sam. Save for Castiel he is the only one awake, must be early. He nods at Castiel before eagerly locking himself in the bathroom and stripping off the disgusting clothes he's worn for half an eternity.

He stands naked before the mirror and hates what he sees before him. His hair is almost brown with grease and his skin has a dirt tan. His cheek bones are too pronounced with all the weight he had lost while eating literal garbage. He runs his hands over feeling each rib that sticks out, but hey at least his stomach is flat now.

No more dad bod pudge, too bad he's rocking a flattering concentration camp look now though. Ah well, what can you do? He turns away from the mirror and steps into the shower stall. He fiddles with the nobs until the water coming out is just this side of scathing. The water that runs down his legs into the tub is down right muddy with all the caked on dirt he had accumulated in his life time.

God he really should have done this sooner, the hot spray feels down right heavenly on his stiff shoulders. He stands under the water for long minutes just enjoying the soothing heat before he grabs, what do they call it? Ah yes, a bath poof. How quaint. He lathers some body wash into it then gets to the long task of scrubbing his body clean.

Despite having spent half a year as a human he is still overly sensitive to touch, its why he avoids it when one of the girls would try and touch him. It can be down right over overwhelming at times, he was so used to being distracted by all his other worldly senses so it dulled his mortal senses.

Without the distraction he can feel every bead of water that hits his chest, the rough scrape of the poof against his legs, and the smooth slide of his soap coated fingers against his body. He marvels at all the good sensations hitting his body, he had no idea how pleasing the simple act of cleaning one's self could be. 

The rough brush of the poof against his chest sends an even more interesting sensation rolling through him. He intellectually knows it to be arousal, but this is his first time experiencing it first hand. 

Lucifer had always found Sam to be the most pleasing specimen to look at, but his angel-ness, for lack of better description, always had a disconnect between actual arousal. Sure he could have easily willed an erection if Sam wanted, but his body wouldn't have had actual desire. 

Yet another benefit of his mortality it seems. Lucifer was never curious like some of his more deviant brothers about sex. Some angels had gone so far as to experiment with all too willing human partners, earning scorn from their peers. 

Lucifer knows well the sins of the flesh humanity is so found of, he exploited them with abandon when he first twisted humans into demons. He never actively participated, that was beneath him, but the knowledge of how much humanity craved sex had stuck with Lucifer as he spent millennia dreaming of his vessel.

Would he be able to satisfy his vessel? He would try of course, but humans instinctively always know when their partner isn't into it as it were. He had a vow to never lie to his vessel, 'faking it' would be skirting the line and the thought of doing that was an unpleasant one.

Looking down as his dick slowly swells as it fills with blood he's glad to see that won't be an issue. Lucifer shakes his head sending water drops flying and moves his wandering hands away from his chest. Here to clean, not for pleasure. Hopefully there will be plenty of time for that in the future.

He rinses out the poof and replacing it on the shower caddy and reaching for a bottle of 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner. He pours way too much in his hand for the amount of hair he has but figures he could use it what with it having never been washed before. Working it into his hair he discovers that too is very pleasing but in a relaxing way. Ah, he really could get used to the sins of the flesh. No wonder they were so corruptible.

Once he's worked out all the crusty patches and tangles he rinses his hair and body until he can no longer feel the slick of soap on his skin. Reluctantly he turns off the water and steps out of the shower. He grabs the towel hanging off the rack and begins to dry off his body when he realizes his mistake.

Crap, no clothes. At least no clothes he would put on his fresh and clean body anyway. He'd rather wear the towel or go buck ass naked than to put back on his disgusting clothes. Wrapping the towel around his waist he opens the door and sees Sam moving around the tiny kitchen making breakfast.

"Sam." He calls getting Sam's attention. The younger Winchester turns around and freezes in surprise when he sees how Lucifer is (not) dressed. His eyes wander down to look at the former angel's chest, eyes riveted on a drop of water as it makes its way down Lucifer's chest until it disappears into the towel slung around his hips.

Lucifer smirks at Sam's reaction to his body, still got it. He tilts his hips to the side to make his now visible abs flex and is rewarded when Sam's mouth falls open on its own. 

"As much as I enjoy standing here for your ogling pleasure, its getting a little chilly." Sam's flick up to Lucifer's chest and his now perky nipples then snap to look at Lucifer's face almost guiltily. 

"Uh. Right sorry." Sam sets his spatula down on the counter and moves to grab one of the bags sitting beside their bed. "Uh here, I um, I got you some clothes." 

Lucifer slowly struts over to where Sam's standing holding out the bag. He steps right into Sam's personal space, so close his chilled skin can feel the heat of Sam. Without breaking eye contact he takes the bag from Sam's awkwardly outstretched hands. He smirks knowingly then turns around and walks back to the bathroom just as slowly enjoying the attention.

He closes the door behind him and pulls out a t shirt and barks out a laugh in surprise. He drops his towel as he holds it out in front of him. It's a loose fitting black v neck that says 'If you met my family you would understand'. God he didn't think it was possible to fall more for Sam, but somehow he does anyway.

Only Sam would think to buy a funny t shirt that fits him so well. Warm and fuzzies invade his stomach again as he pulls the shirt on over his head. He grabs boxers next, sadly no raunchiness to be found there and a pair of blue jeans a hair too big for his emancipated form. Socks go on last protecting his feet from the chill of the bathroom tiles.

He reemerges from the bathroom and is greeted with Sam's warm smile.

"I'm glad you liked the shirt."

"Liked?! That's not strong enough, this shirt is amazing. You know me so well," Lucifer makes a fake sniffling sound, "Its like we were made for each other or something." Sam quirks his eyebrow up then tilts his head to the side in agreement.

Castiel takes that moment as his cue to join the conversation, uninvited as usual.

"I don't understand. I am your family, and yet I don't understand." Lucifer raises his hands and gestures to Castiel.

"And that ladies and gentlemen is exactly why this shirt is perfect." Castiel's look of confusion only grows more severe, but Lucifer merely shakes his head sadly. Erin catcalls from the couch defusing Castiel's mounting annoyance.

"You clean up pretty good for an old man." Lucifer places a hand over his heart.

"You wound me, I'm not that old. If you want to get technical I'm only 6 months old." His face twists as a thought hits him, "Ew Sam, that kinda makes you a cradle robber, I'm just a baby!" 

"Oh ha ha." Sam responds, "And like you're one to judge. I seem to remember you being into inter-species."

"Touche. Oh hey I see you got new digs too." Lucifer comments on Erin and Gaile's brand spanking new clothes. 

"I know isn't it great?" Gaile agrees happily, "Sam is the best, he's got my approval just for that shirt." Sam laughs when Erin gives him two thumbs up.

Sam's phone rings in his pocket and he pulls it out to see Donna's smiling face on the screen.

"Hey Donna." He answers, and smiles at her kind greeting. They talk for a few minutes before hanging up. "Alright, so looks like she's about 10 minutes out from here."

"Awesome, that gives us just enough time to scarf down breakfast." Erin remarks already on her way to collect a heaping plate of eggs. They all eat together in comfortable silence as they wait for Donna to arrive. After they finish eating Lucifer turns to Gaile and Erin.

"You two know you're in good hand right? But if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, call Sam and we can work something else out." He tells the two girls, wanting to make sure they know they have an out. That they aren't being sent off for convenience. Gaile places her hand atop him on the counter in a rare display of physical affection between them.

"We know, don't worry. We're not worried. We know how to take care of ourselves." Gaile reassures the older man she has come to care for over their time together.

"That's my girls, tough as nails."

"Don't worry about us, you just enjoy playing house." Erin adds with wink. 

"Don't worry, I plan to." Lucifer says in a low voice winking at Sam who colors beautifully. 

"Why would you enjoy pretending to be a building?" Castiel asks from the sidelines but before anyone can comment on it there is an enthusiastic and melodic knock on the door. Sam runs over to answer it and the second the door is open he has his arms full of lady cop as Donna attacks him with a bear hug squeezing hard.

"Sam!" She shouts his name happily as she pulls back. "Oh I missed you."

"I missed you too Donna, its always a good day when I see you." Donna slaps his arm.

"Oh stop it you! Gonna make me blush don't ya know." She peaks her head around Sam's large frame and waves at the rest of the room. "Hi y'all!" Sam turns to the side and gestures towards the room.

"This is Gaile, and this is Erin. They are the two girls Jody told you about." Donna walks over and grabs first Gaile and then Erin pulling them into a big warm group hug.

"Aww don't ya sweet things worry. Big Momma Donna is here now." She assures them as they stand there a little stiff in her arms surprised by her open and freely given affection. She gives them another squeeze before pulling back and smiling big at the both of them. 

She acts like they are the ones doing her a favor by coming to live with her instead of the other way around. Sam had warned them ahead of time how bubbly and good natured Donna was, but they had wrongfully assumed Sam was waxing poetic trying to sell them on the idea.

"And who is the handsome guy hiding back in the kitchen?" Donna asks eyeing Lucifer curiously.

"Oh I like her." Lucifer tells Sam, "You have great taste, but I'm taken by tall dark and handsome over there." He winks at Sam and Donna whirls her head back to look at Sam who nods shyly. She squeals in delight letting the two girls go and pulls Sam into another crushing hug.

"I'm so happy for you Sam, it's about dang time if you ask me." She pats his cheek, "You deserve some happiness, and if he doesn't make you happy, I know a thing or two about burring bodies."

Lucifer laughs, delighted with how sweetly she delivered the threat. Her tone was sweet, but the flint of steel in her eyes showed that it wasn't entirely a joke. 

"You don't have to worry," Gaile interjects, "they are so into each other its honestly kinda gross. Adults shouldn't be that cuddly in front of other people." 

"Well can you blame me? I mean just look at him!" Lucifer gestures towards Sam, "You can't tell me you wouldn't be all up on that, well maybe you wouldn't. But still, you have gotta be able to appreciate his looks despite the whole gross penis thing."

Erin throws a pillow from the couch nailing Lucifer right in the face.

"Don't be gross. I'm so not okay with the thought of anyone's penis thank you very much." 

"Oookay!" Donna calls out embarrassed, "How about you act your age, its inappropriate to talk about. . .that sort of thing with young ladies present. Anywho, are you two ladies ready to go see your new home?"

"Been ready." Erin answers with a grin, Gaile nods and picks up their bags of new clothes and slings it over her shoulder.

"Lets blow this pop sickle stand!" Donna announces to the room before throwing her arms across the girls' shoulders and leading them out the door. She casts a parting smile back at Sam. "Don't be a stranger now ya hear? I want to hear all about this new development."

"Sure if you'll keep us posted on how my two favorite trouble makers are doing." Lucifer answers back before Sam can reply.

"You betcha!"

"Bye Luci!" Erin and Gaile call back to Lucifer with a wave. "Don't think you've gotten rid of us completely, we want to hear from you too." Gaile adds.

"On my tarnished honor I will keep you updated with the juicy deets." Lucifer crosses his hand over his heart, "Now get out of here so we can have happy, fun adult time!" The girls' laugh lingers as they climb into Donna's SUV. 

Sam and Lucifer stand in the doorway watching and waving as they drive away. Lucifer turns to Sam and places a hand on his arm.

"They just grow up so fast. It seems just yesterday they were babies, and now they are all grown up and leaving the nest. Sam, we're empty nesters now. Just what will we do without kids in our hair? Something devious I hope." 

"What we're gonna do is drive back home and face the music." Sam turns away back into the hotel and begins gathering up their things so they can set out post haste.

"Aw, you're no fun." Lucifer pouts but Sam has expert level skill in Lucifer Ignoring from his time being haunted by the hallucinations manifested from his time in the cage. 

In no time at all they have check out and find themselves on the long road to the bunker and Dean's impending wraith, but despite the anxiety of a very not fun conversation for all of them, their spirits are all high for differing reasons. The mood in the car is hopeful and the miles fly by comfortably with the sound of rock filling the silence.


	19. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive at the bunker and face the music.

Sam parks the impala and turns off the ignition. He turns to the side to look first at Lucifer and then back at Cas.  
"Ready to face the music?" He asks them blowing out a big puff of air readying himself for the impending lecture. Lucifer places his hand on Sam's thigh giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Sam gets out of the impala first and sees Dean already waiting for them outside. Oh boy. Dean walks up to them and just as Lucifer steps a few feet away from the impala Dean slugs him with a right hook sending the former angel crashing down on the ground. 

"Dean!" Sam yells in alarm moving quickly between his brother and Lucifer who coughs and spits out some blood onto the dirt. "What the hell man?!" 

Dean rolls his shoulders in a completely unapologetic shrug. "Had to be sure." Seeing that his older brother isn't going to continue Sam helps Lucifer to his feet. The former angel sways leaning into Sam and shakes his head clearing it from the surprise hit.

"Alright, I deserved that." Lucifer admits touching his hand to his bleeding lip and hissing at the sting.

"You deserve a lot more than that." Dean retorts unrepentant. Lucifer's eyes narrow at the hostility, but he can't deny that fact. He had after all nearly beaten the older Winchester to death once upon a time.

"Come Dean, cool it." Sam begs not wanting things to spiral out of control. Dean nods but his eyes promise that its not over.

"Great so he's a human now, big woopty doo! Doesn't change what he's done. I ain't no bleeding heart like you Sam, I don't trust this, and I don't trust him. But you're a big boy now, go make some big mistakes. I ain't stopping you this time."

"Dean. . ."

"But I ain't watching you place house with the freaking devil man! Toss me the keys and let's go Cas." Sam's shoulder's slump in defeat but he tosses the keys over anyway. Cas catches his eye sending him a look that speaks volumes about Dean's outburst. Sam nods to Cas who returns the gesture, a promise to get keep in touch and watch over the hot headed Winchester.

Dean peels off once Sam has grabbed his and Lucifer's bag from the trunk with Cas in the passenger seat without a second look back.

"I think that went really well." Lucifer says with a bloody smile earning a snort from Sam. "Hey, at least he didn't shoot me right? I think I'm making real progress with him. Just you wait, give it a week or two and we'll be besties. Braiding each others' hair and having late night pillow fights." 

Sam turns his body to Lucifer completely and marvels at his force of will. Bleeding and dirty, but never beaten down. Sam raises his hand to Lucifer's lip and watches at the bleeding stops beneath his fingers. This thing between them is going to be very, very useful considering how violent their lives are. 

Lucifer kisses the fingers on his lips in thanks. He pulls the fingers away and brings them to cup his face and looks seriously into Sam's eyes.

"It's worth it. It will all be worth it, for you Sam. For you, I'd be a punching bag everyday with a smile on my swollen face." Sam lets out a huff at that.

"Shut up." He steps into Lucifer's face and shuts him up with a feather light kiss on the lips. They stand there savoring the moment for a time before Sam steps back. Lucifer reopens his eyes that twinkle with mischief.

"You can shut me up any time baby. Kiss all my boo boos better with that magical mouth."

"You're impossible." Sam says with a shake of his head.

"But you know you love it~" Lucifer sing songs with a skip in his step as he follows Sam into the bunker.

Sam leads them to his room and begins rearranging his dresser making room for Lucifer's handful of clothes. 

"So we're really gonna be bunk buddies again?" Lucifer asks with a raised eyebrow, Sam shrugs a shoulder while he puts away their clothes. 

"I missed having someone to sleep with, no not in that way. It's just nice ya know? I still think we should take this slow. Just sleeping together, but not together-together." He turns back around to see Lucifer sitting on his bed like he belongs there. No, not his bed, now it's their bed. The thought tugs at his his chest. 

"Not to kick a gift horse in the mouth but I have to ask, what changed your mind about us? About me? You were all 'let's just be friends' before. . ." Lucifer trails off not really wanting an answer but having to ask.

"Well, I had a lot of time to rethink things, especially after. After you died. After I thought you did." Sam blows out a breath of air, "It put things into perspective. Really, why should I avoid looking at something I know that's there? I mean I felt you, the real you inside. Under all the bullshit I saw you, and, and you- you are my other half. It would be beyond ignorant to just ignore that and pretend I didn't want more."

Lucifer is stunned silent by the zeal of Sam's words, how strongly he believes them. How he believes in them. He blinks rapidly trying to process all that means for them, that Sam is 100% on board with them. 

"You're the one with all the experience here, I'm more than happy to follow your lead. Especially since it's already lead to the bedroom." Lucifer leans back on the pillows with a smirk turning the deeply touching conversation to sex as an obvious cop out. "I only know how any of this works theoretically anyway." He says with a wave of his hand.

"Well, I think we should take it slow. You have a lot to learn, and we have no reason to rush." Sam moves to the bed and crawls over Lucifer leaving little space between their bodies. He is flush with the older man's body raised up on one elbow the other he wraps around the back of Lucifer's neck tilting the other man's face up as he leans down with their lips a breath apart.

"Half the fun is in taking it slow and just exploring your partner, finding out what they like." Sam swipes his tongue out licking's Lucifer's causing them to part with a sharp inhale. "What leaves them breathless and wanting." He moves his mouth away and breathes into Lucifer's ear hotly as he drags his lips teasingly along Lucifer's ear lobe. "What drives them wild." Sam whispers into his ear sending a chill down his spine.

Sam pulls back and looks into blue eyes that have dilated to be almost black with want. He knows he made the right choice with how desperate Lucifer looks already with just some light touching and his suggestive words. Sam shivers at the thought of showing Lucifer pleasure, being his first in everything. He'll be the first and only person to see the arch angel come apart completely, something not even an eternal torture could accomplish.

The thrill is almost too much, fills his head with static desire, but he's always been the more patient of the Winchester brothers. He will do this right by Lucifer, by his soul mate. Sam will take it slow and savor each new moment between them. Having calmed his desires he leans back down and covers Lucifer's lips with his own.

Lucifer opens up beneath him letting him in. They dance at a leisurely pace as they explore one another. Lucifer's hands gain courage and roam across Sam's back drawing unseen symbols in Enochian. He loves the feel of the hard muscles beneath his fingers even through the shirt. 

All that power, and strength in the man above him, but he's always so gentle. So careful. It sends a primal thrill through Lucifer that in his new human form that Sam is the one with the power. It would be so easy for Sam to hurt him, to do whatever he wanted, take what he wanted from Lucifer, and yet he never would. Instead of feeling threatened the blonde man only feels safe with Sam's large body over his. He knows Sam would never hurt him, and would do all that he could to protect him.

The thought shocks him that he's never once felt safe and protected before. He was always hiding his vulnerabilities, talking louder, joking harder to hide them. A knot he was previously unaware of loosens in his chest as he feels completely safe and cared for for the first time in his long life with Sam's warm body atop his. 

The tenseness bleeds out of his muscles as their kiss turns sweet and tender. A gentle exploration rather than a frenzy of want. Lucifer is surprised to find how much he's enjoying the lazy kisses they trade. With Sam's down right dirty move of whispering in his ear he had expected things to escalate from there, but instead they've settled into something more comfortable. They are simply enjoying the closeness of one another.

Lucifer has no idea how much time passes like this, and he doesn't care to. Eventually all things must come to an end as Sam pulls back giving Lucifer one last parting peck on the lips and he rolls off of Lucifer and onto his side.

"Wow." Is all Lucifer can think to say. Sam smiles warmly at him and places a kiss on his shoulder.

"Roll over onto your side facing away from me." Lucifer happily obeys and is delighted when Sam spoons against him holding him tight. His Winchester noses his hair and peppers his neck with little kisses. 

Lucifer lets out a content sigh and lets his eyes fall shut so he can focus on the touches. Sam pulls back slightly so he can run his fingers in trails up and down Lucifer's arm giving him goosebumps. The soothing motions and warmth leave Lucifer feeling at peace, as if he's floating above the troubles of the world. 

Full of contentment he doesn't notice as sleep slowly pulls him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for short chapter, had to get this out before I go on hiatus. Won't be writing for the next 3 weeks or so unless the bug over takes me. But I wouldn't plan on it. 
> 
> More than half done with this though! Next chapters will be decidedly more naughty.
> 
> Sorry, not sorry :D


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